


Delayed Devotion

by KristinStone



Series: Living and Breathing in Flint [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: A/B/O, Additional Information in Author's Note, Age Difference, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Bonding, Claiming, Claiming Bites, Control Issues, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Female Omega, Forced Bonding, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jealousy, Kinda, Knotting, Later Smut, Loneliness, Loss of Virginity, Male Alpha - Freeform, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Neglect, Nesting, Omega Verse, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Relationship Issues, Self Confidence Issues, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-13 06:01:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 74,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9109750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KristinStone/pseuds/KristinStone
Summary: Viola is prey in the Hunt, just like her mother before her. The air is heavy with the scent of fertile Alphas who are just after the one thing: Omegas in Heat.She managed to hide from them until she couldn't anymore. Driven by thirst she leaves her hiding and stumbles right into his arms. The unbelievable happens... he claims her.How will her life change? Who is the man, the Alpha, who chose his mate out of the Hunt? Will she ever be able to brush off the social stigma of the Hunt and lead a joyful life with the stranger who made himself part of her very own soul?





	1. The Hunt

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to my dedicated readers and the ones who just stumbled over my work and are new to this genre and/or my writing. 
> 
> First off, I want to thank dear Vivian (aka Always too late) for her help as my Beta reader, making the necessary edits and suggesting changes me and my story only benefited from.
> 
> This universe !!!DOES NOT INCLUDE!!! female Alphas, male Omegas, mpreg or werewolves otherwise I would've tagged them above. If you are searching for any of those things and only want to read about these topics I am sorry to say that they are not present in my personal take on the ABO genre. I am sure you will find a lot of hot and steamy pieces you'll like better on ao3. Happy hunting.
> 
> This story, just like my two previous ABO pieces, is part of my universe spinning around the American, non-existent metropolis Flint. Characters from the previous pieces may appear in this work as well. But you do not have to read the stories in the uploaded order to understand the world and/or the characters. 
> 
> Should you be searching for something that gets down and dirty quickly, I will repeat here one of the tags to avoid impatient/annoyed comments later on: "SLOW BURN", very slow to be precise.
> 
> The rating is for later purposes and the language already used in chapter one.
> 
> Now for everyone who actually ready my notes, thanks a lot. I wish you a very good read and I am excited if I happen to find some of my previous readers among the kudos and comments again. And now: enjoy.

Her heart was racing and not just because she was right at the peak of her Heat. Although the area reeked of fertile Alphas and sex, Viola had managed to stay hidden and untouched. She was proud of the fact that after almost two days she was still unbred. But who knew for how much longer. She had no choice but to leave her safe, little hiding place to get water. The droning fear to move a single muscle and attract an Alpha’s attention gripped her insides like a cold hand. But her lips had began to crack already and swallowing slowly started hurting because there simply wasn’t enough spit. She needed to find water, quickly.

Maybe she could mask her scent with something to stay undetected. She looked around in her tiny cave. A bit of water ran down the charcoal grey, rough stone walls adding to the coldness of her surroundings.There wasn't even moss growing here. Nothing to rub into her skin to mask her sweet, telling scent, nothing to drink either. Licking the moisture off the walls had only worked for so long. Viola was sweating like she was walking through the Sahara desert. The coldness of the stone around her had helped to keep her thirst and hyperthermia at bay but was no longer making any difference. Maybe she would die from dehydration before the Hunt was over; if she was lucky. She had never had heard of an Omega walking out of the Hunt without being pregnant. Perhaps Viola could be the first one. Or simply nobody had ever reported about it. Maybe there was still hope for a clever girl like herself.

Suddenly she heard steps and the intoxicating scent of an Alpha filled her lungs. She had to cover her mouth with her hands to muffle her deep, animalistic moan her body forced out of her. It was getting so hard to ignore her primal need to be bred by a strong Alpha. She didn't need to know his name or see him again... just get fucked and impregnated. Viola closed her eyes and prayed that the Alpha wouldn't pick up on her scent and drag her out of her hideaway. As he got closer and closer and his scent was getting stronger with every breath she took, her body shook with shivers and a fresh gush of her liquid dripped down her thighs and pooled between her tightly closed knees.

Suddenly the steps stopped. Viola opened her eyes wide in horror. She could hear him taking deep breaths, sniffing for an Omega in Heat he could pump his seed into.

God, she had been so close to surviving this terror without losing her virginity to a stranger. The sniffing ended with a deep growl that sent a hot shiver down her spine. Then steps on the forest ground again, getting more and more quiet as he walked away and Viola almost screamed out her joy. He was leaving, not having found her. Hope blossomed in her chest once again andher determination grew. She would make it out of here, find someone to help her and sue Flint or even the whole US back into the stone age! The thought grew stronger inside her mind. There wouldn't be any more Hunts forcing Omegas,against their will, to service rich, bored Alphas! Never again!

Viola carefully stuck her head out of her hiding place to make sure the air was clean before hurrying to the closest stream, well or just a clear enough puddle to sate her thirst. Her steps were shaky as she placed one foot after the other. Sharp, little stones pierced her soles but she managed the pain and remained dead silent on her dangerous search for water. There had to be some kind of water supply nearby. The air was warm and countless mosquitoes buzzed around her head, trying to take a bite from her.

She shooed them away but no matter how many times she waved her hand against them, they always came back for another attack. Viola snuck through the small forest area that had been rented for the Hunt. They had to make sure that none of the participants died due to a lack of water. Food didn't matter but water had to be provided at any time.

Viola kept her head low, making herself even smaller, although she was already only 5' tall. She crept between thick trees and low hanging branches. The whistling of the birds over her head pierced her ears like they were sitting right on her shoulder. Her senses have been in overdrive for days now, making her nerves thin and sore. Only a few more hours, she told herself over and over again when suddenly she heard a lust-filled scream echoing from the high tree tops.

That would not happen to her! She wouldn't let any Alpha catch her... and if one was lucky enough to wrap his hands around her, she would struggle like an angry cat. She wouldn't give herself up so easily. No matter how much her body wanted to follow her nature, she had always been better in coping with estrous cramps and animalistic needs during her Heats in the past. The best she could come up with in order to survive this Hunt unharmed.

Viola snuck over to a small well with mosquitoes and flies dancing in what she guessed to be the afternoon sun. She couldn't tell what time it was anymore. The concept of time was lost on her after the first couple of hours of being here in this forest. The drugs they had given her were flushed out of her system by the end of day one, Viola was glad that she had still had the sanity to find a hiding place and wait there until everything was finally over.

Now Viola was outside in the open, crouching over the stream and keeping her senses on high alert while bringing one handful of water after the other to her mouth. She winced at every noise she heard and listened for any telling rhythm like another breath around her. The piercing cries of the swallows as they chased each other above her head weren't helping her.

Once the dusty dryness in her throat had disappeared Viola stood up again and rushed back to her stone cave. She could already see the well-hidden entrance and forgot everything around her with her goal so close. Her biggest mistake.

When she was only two steps away from the cave a big hand wrapped around her upper arm and stopped her immediately. Her breath caught in her throat when she twirled around to face her fate. How on earth hadn't she noticed his scent lingering in the air? How could she have been so inattentive?

Viola stared up into an almost surprised pair of pale green eyes under thick, black eyebrows. With every breath she took in, more of his velvety scent flooded her senses.

“Oh God,” she breathed and started to sway in his grasp. He was just as naked as her, his erection stood proudly before her. The Alpha wasn't as tall as some of the others she had seen from her hiding but his height didn't matter. He was stronger than her and would simply take her like the animals they were now that he’d had her.

Viola noticed the almost shocked expression on his face and wondered what he had expected to see when he caught an Omega. Only then did she remember to struggle. She could still escape if she was lucky.

But she wasn't strong enough and he acted too quickly. The Alpha turned her around and pressed her back flush against his chest. Viola bit back a primal groan as she felt his cock against her buttocks. Her body was telling her to give in and surrender to him but her mind still commanded her to struggle until he growled right next to her ear. But a heartbeat later she recognized the sound for what it truly was, an indulgent purr.

She got wetter than she already was. The smell of her slick only turned herself on even more. Fuck!

Viola sighed deeply and her knees buckled. The only thing keeping her from hitting the hard ground were his arms wrapped tightly around her. Her eyes closed as her head rolled to the side, unconsciously offering him her neck for Claiming. Her heart was racing like the staccato beat of a drum roll. Viola still tried to regain control of her body when he started speaking.

“You don't smell of another Alpha. Why not?”

He expected her to talk? She could hardly open her eyes and he wanted a coherent string of words to leave her mouth?! A whole sentence?

“I hid,” she managed to whisper, sounding almost drunk. Well, she was. Drunk on his scent, his presence, and the closeness to him. In the back of her mind Viola noticed that he still hadn’t done anything more than hold her flush against his chest... and that he had an incredible calm voice regarding the situation they were in. He nuzzled her neck and sucked in a lung full of her intoxicating scent. It was almost like he tried to remember her, as if he wanted to etch it into his mind to find her again.

Viola's heart drummed inside her chest, her body burnt from the conflict inside her. She wanted to be free but she also didn't want him to leave her alone, ever again. God, what should she do? Wait, what could she do? His hands loosened around her when she could support herself on her own feet again.

“I'm sorry I purred, I didn't want you to run away,” he whispered lowly right next to her ear. Her knees almost gave in again at the sound of his words. Why was he talking to her? Even apologizing!

“Please... let me go,” she pleaded, looking over her shoulder into his expressive eyes now with heavy lids. He brought one of his soft hands up to her chin and almost tenderly stroked his thumb along her jawline. His breath caressed her sweat covered cheek and sent another shower of tingles down her spine. A little mewl escaped her slightly parted lips and her body pressed itself harder against his.

He was a stranger. She didn't know him, would never see him again after this day. Yet, she wanted him. She needed him! Viola breathed heavily, her body was heating up even more. He radiated heat like a cozy fireplace. Fuck, she wanted to melt into him.

He seemed to feel her surrendering more and more with every passing second. She eventually closed her eyes again and leaned her head back against his shoulder. He was the perfect size for her. She wanted him.

Viola's mind was completely gone by now. Her instincts had taken over, turning her into an animal like all the other Omegas in Heat. She needed him.

There was hot liquid running down the back of her leg and his scent grew stronger. Somewhere in the back of her head she wanted to protest, feel disgusted that he covered her in precum but an overwhelming warmth curled up in the pit of her stomach and moved down between her legs. Viola bit back a deep moan.

He buried his nose in her hair and breathed in deeply. More precum trickled down her legs. She wanted to be his for the rest of her life, bear his children, and be claimed by him.

“I'm sorry,” he rumbled as his hold on her grew tighter, almost too tight, and he moved his head to the left side of her neck. She realized too late what was about to happen. Viola's eyes snapped open in shock. He was actually going to claim her! She struggled against his grasp, futile little attempts as her body secretly craved to be his.

His teeth penetrated her skin and a sharp jolt of pain shot through her entire body. Her scream got stuck in her throat. There was pain, panic, fear but also the feeling of falling in slow motion, warmth, and a tingling sensation running through her body as he archaically claimed her as his own. The pounding of her racing heart became painful with every new panicked beat, blood and saliva ran down her neck and heaving chest. She felt an incredible light headedness when the Alpha drove his teeth even deeper into her flesh just before everything went black at last.

Now she was his. Forever.

 


	2. Shoe boxes

Viola woke with a feeling she'd never experienced before. Her chest clenched tightly, like her ribs were trying to crawl closer to her heart and pressing her lungs together on their way. Her shoulder and head were thudding, although her head was the least problem. Her limbs felt heavy, it was a real struggle to open her eyelids. Her face was buried in a soft pillow, not smelling familiar in any way but not unsettling either. Viola had to blink a couple of times before her vision finally cleared.

A flash of lightning followed by the deep rumble of thunder startled her completely awake. Within a heartbeat, Viola sat up straight and slowly took in her new surroundings. She didn't know the room she was in. The walls were a dark, calming green, the floor a polished hardwood floor dully reflecting the soft light from the small ceiling spots. She had woken up facing the wide window to her right. Viola had a fantastic view of the entire city. Was she in Flint? She had never seen the city so close while growing up at Finewood Academy.

God, she had no idea what had happened. Her neck was pounding in the same rhythm as her beating heart. It was covered with gauze and smelled like the hospital wing at the academy. Somebody had taken care of her injury; her Claiming mark. Viola slowly remembered what had happened and from there she realized where she was. She had been at the Hunt as prey, she had been so careful and yet one Alpha had caught and... claimed her.

Viola rubbed the center of her thudding chest. Was this the bond she was feeling? This foreign beating next to her clenching heart, this churning in her stomach and flutter in her belly. She felt like throwing up. Where was the bathroom? Where was she?

Viola felt tears well up in her blue eyes and pulled her knees tightly to her chest. She didn't want anyone to come in, feared she might displease them and get hurt. She rocked herself back and forth to soothe her nerves. Viola closed her eyes and concentrated on her breathing. She had to pull herself together. Freaking out wouldn't help her situation. She had to find answers. She wiped her cheeks dry again and looked around in the room once more. It was unwelcomingly empty like it was barely ever used. Maybe it was just a guest room or whoever lived here was a minimalist. There were clothes for her by the foot of the bed. A grey t-shirt and blue plaid boxers, neatly folded and placed so that it wouldn't bunch when she moved in her sleep. Thoughtful.

Viola let her fingers glide over the fabric before she brought the clothing items up to her face. It smelled of washing agent, freshness, and... Alpha. Somewhere in the back of her mind the scent rang a bell and the irritating feeling in her chest subsided for a moment. Her  _ mate's _ scent, she thought. Viola didn't know if it was just the fact that she was bound to him or if he really smelled that good.

The scent felt neither aggressive nor too dominant. Not in the clothes and not in the room. She would've probably been disgusted or too overwhelmed if he would've given her anything too scented. He seemed considerate.

Viola felt herself lose any reservation she had against her  _ mate _ just from what he had shown her while she had been unconscious. And the fact that she didn't smell of him or feel sore between her thighs told her that he hadn't taken advantage of her situation.

She was ripped out of her thought by another rumble of thunder outside. Long streams of water ran down the window. She watched it for a minute and unconsciously stroked the shirt in her hands. Viola had always hated thunderstorms at Finewood ever since one bolt had hit a tree on the property when she had been only five years old. It wasn't like she fled and hid under the next blanket but she felt uneasy.

She dressed slowly, mindful of her fresh Claiming mark. It wasn't a sharp pain like in the moment he had placed it. This here was dull and throbbing lowly in her shoulder. It was weird to wear a stranger’s clothing, yet everything seemed weird right now. Which didn't necessarily mean that it was bad.

The material of the shirt glided smoothly over her naked, sensitive skin. She held it against her face once more and took a deep breath. The memory of the Hunt and of him was hazy but his scent was etched into her brain and would stay there for the rest of her life. She was torn between being afraid about meeting her mate and being excited about it.

The flutter in her chest got quicker when she made her way to the entrance door and cracked it open. The hallway she was facing was dark and made a turn at the end to her right. Some light from around the corner showed her the way. The air out here smelled more intensely of him. The wood under her feet was warm, probably because this place had floor heating. The warmth and the surrounding darkness gave the impression of coziness in the foreign apartment.

Viola heard water running, rain falling, thunder roaring, and quiet steps on the floor. Her chest pulsed with the unfamiliar feeling of another presence influencing her. It didn't hurt, not much at least. With every step towards the cool light around the corner it pulsed less and less noticeably. But she also got more excited and scared of facing him.

Alphas usually found their mates at auctions or the kids rooms of their friends and colleagues,  _ not  _ in the Hunt. Viola had never heard of an Omega getting claimed during the Hunt. Was she the first? Or maybe this was all just a giant dream and she was tripping on whatever drug they had given her when the Hunt had started. Maybe her subconscious had just come up with the image of him and everything she experienced now.

Viola swallowed thickly when she reached the corner of the hallway. Shyly, she peeked around the corner to find a vast, open space with tall glass walls giving her another marvelous view over what she assumed was Flint. 

This couldn't be the work of her mind. Wouldn't she imagine something she knew or at least had seen before at least once? Viola had spent her entire life hidden away at Finewood Academy. The only image of Flint she knew was the sight of it in winter when she would see it at the horizon through the bare, dead looking branches of the trees surrounding the school.

To her the sea of brown and grey boxes, disrupted here and there  by a piercing skyscraper made of glass and steel, appeared unnatural and weird. Why would anyone want to live in a shoe box? Although, this shoe box here seemed incredibly roomy and she hadn't even moved from the corner of the hallway yet. Viola started chewing the inside of her cheek when she carefully stepped out of her little hiding place.

The smell of fresh air, rain, and freshly brewed coffee hung in the air of the open room. Viola looked around. To her right was a double entrance door, partially hidden by glass separation walls with stained glass appliques and a white flower arrangement on a round center table. In front of her she saw the backrest of a white sofa peeking out from behind the separation walls. Left of it was a dark gray, and now wet balcony, and in front of that a nice-looking, glass and steel dinner table.

As her eyes moved farther and farther to the left, the steps she had heard before stopped and she suddenly felt watched. She found an open kitchen to her left with bar counters and... two pale green eyes looking at her.

For a moment all the air seemed to have left the room even with the open balcony doors. It was him. Her Alpha, her mate. The stranger who was part of her very soul now. They just stood there with a few feet distance from each other for what felt like hours looking at each other with pounding hearts and the clenching feeling returning into their chests. Viola wasn't sure what to do or say. She had always thought that once she met her mate she wouldn't feel nervousness or fear but right now she was at the brink of shattering.

It seemed that he'd read her feelings when suddenly he reached out his hand as if to shake hers for introduction.

“I'm not going to hurt you, Viola.”

She only stared at his hand with an uncertain frown. Viola felt the clenching in her chest becoming worse. His other hand came up to rub the center of his sternum. It was the exact place her internal torture blossomed from. Did he feel the same?

“How do you know my name?” she asked with a strangely hoarse voice, still not moving closer to him.

“I asked the organizers of the Hunt and they handed me your file.” He nodded his head over to the thick, brown file next to him on the bar counter.

Viola's hand came up to the gauze on her neck. Had he known about her beforehand? What was going on?

“Who... who are you?” Viola stuttered and saw his welcoming hand sink back to his side. Maybe she should've taken it. Fuck, she didn't want to give him a reason to be mad at her.

“My name is James Frederick Scaife and you don't have to be afraid of me. I will never harm you, Viola. I know this is all very strange for you and you don't really understand what is going on but-”

“Why did you claim me?” she interrupted him. James looked her up and down. He leaned against the bar counter and broke eye contact for the first time since she had emerged from the hallway. He pursed his lips trying to find the right words.

“The answer would require more trust than I can currently muster,” he eventually said and looked back up at her. Viola nodded slowly. The churning in her stomach got worse again. It was weird that she was supposed to trust him blindly when he said that she had nothing to fear from him. Viola felt like she was walking on the edge of a high cliff, dancing with her eyes closed and a storm ripping at her to push her into her death.

“It's getting easier when you come closer,” he said lowly. Viola's feet moved on their own and he was right. The clenching in her chest subsided with every step until breathing finally stopped hurting and she could almost touch him. He radiated heat like a flickering fireplace, making her feel like she was coming home from a raging thunderstorm. James stopped rubbing the ''clenching'' spot over his sternum when she was close enough to smell her nervousness.

“That's better, isn't it?”

She nodded quickly, staring up at him with wide eyes and a dry mouth. Viola thought about actually touching him, feel the exquisite fabric of his shirt and the warmth and hardness of his muscles underneath it, but she didn't dare.

“What happens now?” she breathed.

“Well, what do you want to happen?”

Viola furrowed her brows in confusion. “What?”

“I have no desire to force you to do anything you don't want to. If you want to stay and live here with me, you can stay in the guest room you woke up in or move across the hallway into my bedroom... or you leave.”

The last part knocked the air out of her lungs. First he claimed her and then he sent her away?

James moved even closer and continued talking, “I'm not kicking you out, by any means, but I want to give you a choice. I would pay for an apartment of your own and transfer enough money on a bank account for you to live a comfortable and carefree life.”

“But I don't have to leave, right?”

“No, not at all, Viola. I'd rather you stayed here with me.”

Viola nodded thoughtfully. “And what... How will I live here? Do you live alone?”

“Not anymore, if you want to stay. And what do you mean with ''how you will live here''?”

She chewed the inside of her cheek and lightly traced the wrinkles of his shirt at his waistband, not quite touching him yet.

“It's not custom to pick a mate out of the Hunt. I just want to know if you intend to.. share me with your friends or something,” she mumbled, her heart pounding with a mix of fear and nervousness. Suddenly James grabbed her wrists hard and an unfamiliar feeling, much like an electric shock, shot through her entire body. It forced her eyes to snap up to his stern face.

“I would never do that, Viola. Not to you, not to anyone. I'm an ADA. It's my job to-”

“What?” she interrupted him once again and pulled her hands out of his grasp.

“ADA stands for Assistant District Attorney. I prosecu-”

“I know what an ADA is and does. I want to know why you were at the Hunt in the first place. Shouldn't you fight to stop this inhuman, archaic tradition that caused so much hurt for centuries!” she started yelling and the terrible feeling returned in her chest. James didn't look angry or displeased with her emotional outburst. He reached for her hands once more and stroked his thumbs over the backs of them soothingly. “I managed to bring one Omega out of it unharmed. Doesn't that count?”

Oh God. Of course it counted. More than anything because he had chosen  _ her  _ for whatever reason. She cast her eyes down to their joined hands and apologized in a whisper. But then Viola thought about something else.

“Why am I not pregnant?”

“Because you were smart and hid well,” he replied matter-of-factly.

“But you caught me and even claimed me. Why didn't you breed me?”

“Would you have wanted that?” James huffed and quirked an eyebrow at her.

“I wasn't asked before the Hunt either so why should my opinion matter now?” Viola asked and became angry at society again.

“I'm prosecuting cases concerning abusive Alphas, rape, and domestic violence. I'm the last person to ignore consent. I meant it when I said that I would never harm you.”

Viola had never looked into more sincere eyes.

“I know that legally Omegas in the Hunt don't have to consent but I thought you wouldn't want to wake up pregnant without even knowing my name.”

“Well, now I woke without knowing who my mate was,” she remarked.

“I guess, that's still better than the alternative?”

Viola smiled and leaned against his chest, letting go of the illusion that she could keep herself from seeking closeness to him. He let go of her hands and embraced her tenderly. It felt so natural for her to be close to him, feel his body heat and breath on her skin, and sense his heartbeat only a few inches away from her cheek. She could feel it alongside her own heart through the bond in her chest. Viola had heard stories from other Omegas at Finewood whose parents had tried to explain what the bond felt like. But none of the descriptions matched the glowing warmth that spread through her entire body.

“Would you like some breakfast?” James asked after he sensed her totally relax against him. She nodded, not moving out of his embrace. This was very likely her new favorite place on earth. Nothing could happen to her there. He wouldn't allow it.


	3. Fidelity, Obedience, Devotion

Viola listened to his calm, even heartbeat underneath her cheek and sighed completely at peace. Her journey here, into his warm embrace and this safe space had been worth this feeling of bliss that was flooding her entire body.

But suddenly she took a step back and looked at him with glowing cheeks. She started wringing her hands nervously and chewed the inside of her cheek.

“What's wrong, Viola?” James asked, slight concern tinting his voice. He rubbed his hands up and down her upper arms. Her name sounded like velvet coming from his lips but it didn't help now.

Viola had always hated talking about personal things, even with the nurses at Finewood Academy. And even though he was her mate, she was still uncomfortable talking about the downside of her cycle.

“You... you don't happen to have any... pads here, do you?”

James lifted his eyebrows and his gaze shortly dipped down to her lower belly when he understood what she meant. Unfortunately, he had to shake his head. Viola's mouth twisted in  a small grimace right before he spoke again, “I'll get you something immediately.”

He walked past her over to the entrance door, dove into the closet right next to it and asked while putting on his light gray wool coat if she had any preferences concerning her personal hygiene. Viola shook her head, cringing internally because it was so embarrassing to ask a stranger to buy her pads for her period. As if that wasn't bad enough already, now the clenching in her chest returned with full force.

James walked back to her and cradled her worried face with his soft hands. A small smile tugged on his lips, showing her that there was absolutely no reason to worry or feel ashamed around him.

“I'll be right back,” he whispered and gently stroked his thumbs over her cheeks. It was strange to feel at home with him, letting all reservations melt away when he touched her; trusting him fully after knowing him for only a few minutes. Viola nodded as much as his tender grasp allowed and smiled weakly.

James' eyes seemed to smile back at her before he let go and left the apartment. While he was away getting everything she needed, she could snoop around in her new home a little. But first, Viola hurried back into her room and slid into the en-suite to wad up some toilet paper to use as a makeshift pad,  at least until James got back. She didn't want to bleed on anything or leave a trail of blood on the dark wood floors or marble tiles in the bathroom.

She strolled through the rooms off the hallway. Just across from hers was another bedroom, James' by the looks of his disheveled bed sheets. He had a walk-in, well, walk-through closet leading to a corner bathroom overlooking the urban metropolis below. Viola felt like she was invading his personal space while walking around the apartment. Then again this was her home now too, his personal space as much as hers.

Viola let her hands ghost over the perfect rows of suits hanging in his closet. They must've been expensive judging by the high threadcount she felt under his fingertips. It all smelled of him and she missed this stranger already. Viola suppressed the urge to bury her nose in his shirts or clutch his pillows to her chest. No, she wasn't a child anymore, walking around with a plush toy or a cuddle blanket.

She searched the other rooms leading from the hallway and found an office. The desk was laden with files, notes, a laptop, a bonsai tree and... a small fish bowl with a single, deep blue fish in it. It all hid the nice mahogany wood under it. Viola frowned at the beautiful fish and watched him for a second. It was odd that it was kept alone and in such a tiny tank.

“Poor thing,” she whispered and leaned closer to the little fellow.

“I think, he'd disagree,” she heard behind her and startled upright. James stood by the door, a small plastic bag in his one hand, and with the other buried in the pocket of his pants.

“But he's alone,” Viola said after her shock had subsided again.

“He is, yes, but he prefers it that way.”

She frowned. “How do you know?”

James slowly sauntered closer while answering, “Because he's a Siamese fighting fish. He would kill any intruder. They are mostly kept as singles to avoid territorial fights and resulting injuries.”

He stopped right in front of her and handed Viola the plain plastic bag. It was heavier than expected and when she opened it, she realized why. It was filled to the brim with all kinds of pads and tampons in different sizes and qualities.

“I didn't know which kind you wanted.”

“So, you simply bought all of them?” she smirked and thanked him coyly. Viola noticed the strained expression around his eyes when she looked up and started to worry. Had she done something wrong?

“I told you, I am an ADA for the most gruesome crimes committed and, although I shouldn't, I bring work home with me.” He glanced at the files behind her. “And all I ask of you is to never look at the contents of the folders or my notes.”

There was heavy concern darkening his features. He didn't forbid her to enter his office, she noticed, he _asked_ her not to. Viola nodded and gave him a sweet smile.

“Now, did you eat something already or were you too busy snooping through my closets?” James asked in an attempt to lighten the mood a bit, but when he saw the caught look in her eyes he knew he had hit right home.

“I'm sorry, I-”

“It's fine, Viola. This is your new home. You have every right to make yourself familiar with this place.” She let out a relieved breath and smiled again. “But you didn't eat yet?”

Viola didn't and she hadn't since she had entered her Heat. The growling of her stomach, with perfect timing, reminded her of that fact and was all the answer James needed. Viola quickly replaced the make-shift pad with a real one, made sure she didn't smell like a freshly killed deer, and eventually made her way back into the living space. James waited for her in the breakfast nook past the kitchen. The small round table was filled with everything one could desire for a French breakfast: croissants, various jams, and freshly brewed coffee in a French press. But after the little delays this morning, the coffee wasn't steaming hot anymore. James asked if he should brew some fresh but Viola politely refused.

“I don't like coffee. It tastes too bitter in my opinion.”

“You can always sweeten it with sugar or spice it up with ground cinnamon,” he suggested and took a sip of his black, unsweetened coffee.

There were dark clouds hanging above the peaceful breakfast. The fact that they were sitting right at a window and Viola could finally see just how high up their apartment really was, was making her feel like throwing up. Even though she was hungry as hell and her stomach growled like the big, bad wolf, she couldn't bring herself to swallow one bite.

“What's wrong?” James asked, a little bit of strawberry jam smeared on his upper lip. Viola glanced at the massive drop beyond the safety glass to her right and shook her head slightly no. Clearly a lie he saw through like cellophane even without the bond between them. He put his croissants down and reached for her hand over the table. With his thumb gently stroking over the back of her hand, looking at her encouragingly to get an answer.

“Would you rather eat something else? I’ll see what I can find in the cupboards,” he offered in vain.

“No, it's not the food. Looks delicious, really. It's... it's just the height. I d-don't like heights, that's all.”

She avoided his eyes, feeling ridiculous because there was no real reason to be afraid of falling through a closed safety glass window. Instead, she kept her eyes on his hand, warm and comforting above hers.

“We can move if you want to,” James spoke up again, not allowing an uncomfortable silence to settle between them.

Her head shot up at that. Was he serious? They had introduced each other only two hours ago and he was already willing to leave his apartment, his home, for an irrational fear of hers?

“Really?” Viola breathed, searching his eyes for anything but sincerity.

He smiled and nodded. “Of course, we can also eat at the dinner table if that's easier for you.”

Oh, that kind of moving. Viola laughed at her own overreaction and hoped he didn't think she was an idiot or too invested too quickly. They hardly knew each other and she already thought he would give up his apartment for her. Stupid.

They moved the plates, mugs, and all the delicious food over to the bottom end of the long dinner table to be as far away from the window as possible.

“Better?”

Viola nodded but still didn't eat, being too occupied with feeling like a dumb child that had expected Santa to show up to her birthday party.

“If you're too uncomfortable here, we can also move into a house.”

She stared at him wide-eyed. Could he read her mind? Was that a thing among mates?

“I have absolutely no emotional connection to this place. I only sleep and eat here, Viola. If you want to move, I'll call an estate agent right away.”

She needed a moment to process.

“You're not home that much?” she eventually asked in a small voice, ignoring his offer for the more important piece of information he had offered her.

“Well, I work a lot but come home every night.”

“What am I supposed to do when you're away?”

James blinked a couple of times before answering, “Everything you want without breaking social conventions and three principles.”

Fidelity, obedience, devotion, she remembered hearing about them in second grade in social studies. They were old rules but still applied, only that they were pretty self-explanatory for a modern, monogamous society. And Viola was sure she would have no problem sticking to them. She had absolutely no desire to even talk to another Alpha after the Hunt. She was way too scared of being sent away to be disobedient but the last principle had always been a puzzle to her. What exactly did ''devotion'' mean? Love? Taking care?

At age eleven, right after her first heat, Viola had checked the definition of it in the Merriam Webster and had found the following:

  1. a feeling of strong love or loyalty: the quality of being devoted

  2. the use of time, money, energy, etc., for a particular purpose




She had no money but energy and time to spare. Viola wasn't sure she could instantly speak of love towards James but she knew she would be as loyal as a dog to him. After all, he had saved her from the same fate her mother had suffered.

Everything you want, she thought and the last word struck her. Want. She had the power of choice after almost 19 years of complete supervision and control. Viola didn't know what she wanted unless someone told her.

“I need a task,” she said after a long pause, “I don't know what to do. People have always told me when to get up, what I needed to learn, what to eat, or what to do in my free time.”

James nodded slowly and pursed his thin lips as he thought for a moment. “What did you enjoy at the academy? What were your hobbies there?”

“Um...” Her head didn't seem to work now that she was his mate, “I like movies, I guess.”

“You guess?” he huffed and hit a raw nerve. Viola stood up quickly and glared at him viciously.

“Don't laugh at me! I'm in a strange environment, with a strange Alpha who forced a bond on me, I'm terrified, I have no idea how to act around you or anywhere outside of Finewood, and you laugh at me!?”

He furrowed his brow in confusion and lifted his hands in a calming manner. “I didn't mean to insult you, Viola. Please sit down again and eat. You must be starving. I like movies too, but I'm sure you have other hobbies too.”

She slumped back down in her chair but still didn't touch the food offered. Her mind was spinning, her heart racing. Was it supposed to feel like this?

“Please eat something,” he said once more and nodded to the croissants in front of her. She followed his bid only reluctantly but realized how hungry she really was after the first bite. Viola wolfed down one bite after the other, stuffing herself with the desperately needed nutrients and vitamins. She felt his eyes on her but didn't care. He had been right. She was starving!

When she was finally sated, she leaned back in her chair and hummed contently.

“Do you have any questions?” James asked and copied her finally relaxed body language.

“How old are you?” she blurted out.

“42.”

Viola grinned into her cheek. 42, the answer to life, universe and everything according to Douglas Adams. But apart from that 42 seemed pretty old in Viola's eyes. He was more than twice her age. She had always known that as an Omega she would have an Alpha at least 35 years of age but still...

“Too old for your taste?” he asked with a smirk and traced the edge of the glass table top.

“No, no, no. It's just...”

“A number, Viola. Age is just a number. I think, it's more important that one is grown with experience and wisdom. I know 60 year-olds who throw tantrums like toddlers.”

He looked back up at her and waited for more questions.

“Do you have family? Will I meet them today?”

“No, I don't have any family. I'm a Baby of the Hunt just like you are.”

She hadn't expected that. Viola's eyebrows shot up almost to her hairline as her lips formed a silent ''oh''.

“I'm sorry. I didn't know that.”

“It's alright. It's not a secret, just a fact.” He sounded almost sad in Viola's ears. The forced smile on his lips only confirmed that it, indeed, wasn't _just_ a fact. She had always dreamed of being auctioned off to an Alpha with a huge family with countless brothers- and sisters-in-law, nieces and nephews, cousins, aunts and uncles... and of course children of her own. But the more she thought about it, the happier she was that she wasn't already pregnant with the child of a total stranger.

“Do you have any questions for me?”

He lifted his eyebrows and thought for a moment, “Would you like to go shopping for some clothes now or this afternoon? Unfortunately, you being here right now was not actually planned out to the last detail, so I couldn't prepare a ready wardrobe for you.”

“That's your question for me?” she blurted out again, “Nothing about likes or dislikes, age, sexual orientation? I could be homosexual and you don't care?”

“Are you homosexual? Not that it would matter right now as I am not interested in sleeping with you at the moment.”

He could've told her that he was breeding albino turtles with laser eyes and she would've been less surprised.

“Wh-why not?”

“Because, frankly, you're a stranger to me too and, contrary to popular belief, Alphas don't just think about sex and knotting the whole day. I'm sure, you can feel that through the bond as well.”

Viola's head hurt. “B-but you're not..?”

“Impotent?” he finished her sentence and shook his head no in answer, “I'm a perfectly healthy, middle-aged Alpha. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been allowed to participate in the Hunt. They test all Alphas for genetic anomalies that could be transferred to the resulting offspring, we give a sperm sample for examination, and to check for any kind of potential kinship. You'd be surprised how thorough the government is to ensure that there is no possibility for unknown incest taking place in the Hunt.”

She wrinkled her nose at the mention of the event that had brought them together. It was a terrible tradition but one that had given her a seemingly decent mate, one that didn't see her as a sex toy or arm candy to prance around with. She initially liked him.

“I think, the sooner I get some clothes to wear, the better. As much as I enjoy comfy clothes-”, she pointed at his t-shirt she was wearing, “-it still feels strange that they technically aren't mine. Wait, what am I supposed to wear to go shopping? I can't run around in your boxer shorts.”

James pursed his lips and made a vague move with his head when he let his eyes wander over what skin he could see. It didn't feel sleazy or disgusting, just like a little teasing.

“I bought you a pair of tights that you could wear with one of my dress shirts. I guess, you could wear this at first and as soon as you found something appropriate in a store, I'm sure you can simply keep that on.”

He sounded so confident that Viola didn't question his plan at all. James took her with him into his walk-through closet and let her pick a shirt to wear. She chose a navy blue one which she gathered would go well with her shoulder length, auburn hair. Viola was sure it also looked marvelous on him with his ebony hair and almost cold green eyes.

Even though James wasn't particularly tall or bulky, his shirt was still the perfect size to serve  as a dress. The tights he had picked were a thick warm material. The continuing rain outside had cooled down the air dramatically and he didn't want her to catch a cold outside. He had been given the flimsy little shoes she'd worn on her way to the Hunt a couple of days ago. They didn't match her outfit or the weather outside but they would have to make do for at least the time she needed to find new shoes. When she was dressed and emerged from her bedroom, James looked her up and down before nodding his approval. He actually made her blush a second later with a simple: “You look beautiful.”

Viola felt her cheek redden when she looked to the side. “Thank you, James.”

He held out his hand which she took with a shy smile before she left the apartment for the first time.

There seemed to be only one other apartment on the same floor but two elevators. They got down into the garage beneath the building and Viola's hand closed tightly around James' as soon as they arrived in the cold and damp place. She didn't like it. It felt hostile and dangerous with all the dark corners where criminals could be hiding and waiting for the moment to attack.

“Don't worry, Viola. I'm right here,” James whispered in a low, comforting tone, almost a purr in her ears. She smiled weakly and leaned her head against his shoulder until they finally reached his car. Her heart was beating hard in her chest as they exited the shadows of the garage.

Finally, Viola would see Flint for the first time in her life.

 


	4. Flint

She had heard stories from all of the other Omegas who had parents and got to see the outside world and now she would see if they had told her the truth about the giant toy stores or boutiques for pets. Of course, she knew she was too old for toys now but who knew what the city held for adults.

After half an hour of slowly driving over the wet, glistening asphalt streets, James parked in another garage. This one wasn't as dark but still gave Viola the creeps.

“Where are we?”

“Bond Street. Something like Fifth Avenue in New York City. We'll find everything you can dream of here,” he explained, left the car, and opened her door before offering his hand once again. Viola held onto it tightly. The lasting feeling of danger got worse with every new breath she took. There were so many different scents brewing in the air. It made her feel light-headed all of a sudden. She tried to take deep breaths but it was only getting worse.

James stopped and looked at her attentively. She closed her eyes and moved closer to him so that his was the most prominent scent filling her lungs. It helped to ground her again.

“It's all a little overwhelming,” she whispered and felt him squeeze her hand reassuringly.

“You don't have to explain.” He tapped his fingers on the middle of his chest.

The bond, of course.

She smiled shyly and they made their way further down the street. The sidewalk wasn't very crowded. Many hurried past them to get out of the rain, but some were more relaxed under the shield of their umbrellas. James opened one over their heads as well and guided her through the strangers. Viola clutched onto his arm, pressing her body against his to make sure everyone could see that she belonged to him. She had never been around so many men, Alphas and Betas, in her entire life. Her senses went into overdrive. Viola's heart started pounding heavily and her body shook.

James' fingers closed tightly around hers and he pressed his lips against her temple. He took in a deep breath and whispered in a low voice, almost a purr, that he wouldn't let anyone come too close to her.

It was so easy to believe him.

Viola let him guide her into a posh looking boutique with black mannequins dressed in pastels and grey tones in their window. A curvy, arrogant looking woman, walked over to them with a trained smile on her dark lips.

“Hello, how can I help you?”

“My mate needs a new wardrobe,” James announced and his hands squeezed hers a little tighter for a second. It filled her with a sense of pride that he let everyone know that she was his mate by calling her that straight away.

Viola didn't like the shop assistant or the way she looked her up and down to determine her size or style. She had never stood in an auction but she was sure it must feel a lot like this... Like cattle in a farm fair.

“I'm sure we can find something fitting for her.” She made an inviting hand gesture and beckoned the couple to follow her. “Shall we start with the underwear and work our way outward?”

“No, we'll actually go to Victoria's Secret later on,” he told her and Viola was glad she wouldn't have to take off all her clothes in front of this woman. Somehow she seemed deceitful; too much swinging of her hips as if to attract James’ attention, that fake smile and friendliness when she looked at Viola, and at least 2 inches of makeup to cover who she really was.

The woman showed them skirts, pants, blouses, shirts, sweaters, and cardigans. Each and every time Viola either nodded or shook her head until the woman was laden with a pile of approved clothes. Viola never let go of her mate's hand or said a single word. She wasn't exactly a shy person but everything out here was so new and unfamiliar that she had rather let him handle all of this.

“Let's see what it looks like on her,” the shop assistant said with another one of her trained smiles and led them to the changing rooms in the back of the spacious boutique. James was to wait in the little seating area for the partners in front of the cabin. Viola frowned when she watched the woman place the pile of clothes on the stool in one of the little changing rooms.

“Do you need any help?”

Viola shook her head quickly. She wasn't an invalid. She knew how to dress. James had felt her animosity against the shop assistant the entire time and smirked into his cheek about her silent answer. Viola let go of his hand for the first time when she hurried into the changing room and closed the curtain behind her. She put on one outfit after the other and modeled for James. He approved of everything, after all it was her decision what she wanted to look like and what she disliked, but suddenly he saw her sorrowful eyes and asked what was wrong.

“I like both skirts,” she mumbled and smoothed her hands over the floral patterned, mint-colored chiffon skirt.

“Then we'll get them. You can have whatever you like.”

“But they're both so expensive,” Viola whispered and glanced over to the unlikable woman behind the cashier counter.

James chuckled and shook his head as he closed the distance between them. He lay his hands on her arms over the soft, grey cashmere sweater and told her in a calm voice, “Viola, the reason Alphas are only allowed to apply for a mate after age 35 is to make sure they have the financial means to provide for their significant other. I'm 42 years old. I have enough money for an extensive shopping trip. We'll have to get much more than this boutique has to offer. So, don't worry about the price.”

Saying that one was rich could sound arrogant so easily, but from him it only sounded like a fact that calmed her down immediately. In the end, Viola bought a lot of clothes she could combine with one another to get the most out of the least. Even though he reminded her once again that she didn't need to be frugal.

After that they headed for Victoria’s Secret to make sure she wouldn't have to run around without proper underwear any longer. She didn't model for him there... for obvious reasons. She trusted him more than anyone else on this planet but that wasn't hard when she knew nobody else. James bought what felt like half the store for her, followed by one pair of shoes for each day of the week, and an extra one just to be sure, from the shoe store next door.

When Viola was starting to feel tired, he dragged her into another boutique that looked like a wedding shop. She stopped in front of the glass doors and pulled him back to her with their intertwined hands.

“Mates don't marry,” she answered his questioning look and furrowed brows.

“We're not here to get you a wedding dress.”

“Why then? My feet hurt, I'm hungry, and I feel like everyone is staring at me,” Viola whined like a child and hoped he would just call it a day so they could go back home. He closed the small distance between them and studied her face.

“It's only this and then another tiny stop before we're done with shopping for approximately the next six months, I promise, Viola.”

James squeezed her hand and waited for her decision. She chewed the inside of her cheek as she looked inside through the tall shop windows. She had never seen so many dresses: puffy, with tail, or countless layers of tulle.

“The sooner we're in, the sooner we are done with it.”

“Alright, but just this one, okay?”

“One other thing after this, I swear. But that will be over in a minute or two.”

Viola suppressed a loud and very unladylike groan there in the middle of the sidewalk before she gave in eventually. Once inside the boutique, James let go of her hand and told the lady who had joined them immediately that they were searching for an evening gown, nothing too pompous but something beautiful and elegant. He gave examples like Jackie Kennedy or Grace Kelly to make his point clear.

Viola was too tired to pay attention anymore. She walked along the designer racks with wide, flowery dresses squeezed together to fit in the limited space. She just let her hand glide over a silk sash when she heard her mate calling for her. The older woman had pulled out three completely different dresses for her to try on, but Viola was tired of undressing and dressing.

Two of the suggestions had A-line cuts which she didn't like and one of which even had a truly hideous color, something between orange and mud. The third one though was perfect: black, slightly shorter in the front with a princess skirt, and a portrait neckline on the sleeveless bodice. Without even trying it on, Viola picked the last one and judging by James' contented little sigh, she had made the right choice. They would deliver the dress two days later so Viola only had one more store to go to until she could get some rest.

“I'm sorry I keep ushering you around. This one thing and we're done,” James promised her when they were back on the sidewalk and Viola rested her tired head against his shoulder. They only had to cross the busy street to reach their destination, a jewelry shop.

Once inside, Viola was wide awake again. The rings, earrings, bracelets, and necklaces were breathtaking. Her fatigue and tired feet were forgotten. Her eyes sparkled just as much as the diamonds and jewels around her. James guided her to a showcase with engagement rings, one more beautiful than the other.

“Pick one.”

“But mates don't marry,” she reminded him once again.

“No, but Alphas give their promised mates jewelry to court them.”

“You didn't court me,” Viola whispered and turned her head to look up into his already familiar face. James pulled her closer to his side and brought his lips right next to her ear. When he spoke, she got goosebumps all over her skin.

“Who says I can't court you when we're already bonded? Now, pick your favorite then we move over to the wedding rings so that everyone will see that I'm yours.”

Her veins flooded with a soft warmth as his words made their way into her brain, and she snuggled even closer into his side.

“I could simply claim you too. Would definitely not be this pricey,” she suggested with a smile.

“You could, but I wear high-colored shirts all day so nobody would ever see it. A ring is easier and less dangerous for my health.”

Viola furrowed her brows in confusion. Health?

“There's a reason most Alphas aren't claimed. Our metabolism isn't meant to be governed by a claiming partner. Some Alphas suffer from severe health problems after letting their mates bite them back. Cardiac arrhythmia, uncontrollable… and dangerous mood wings, and even fertility problems were reported.”

“You're right, a ring is much easier.”

A sympathetic looking white-haired man joined them in front of the engagement rings and asked them with a thick Dutch accent if they needed any help. James looked at Viola for an answer. She had immediately found the perfect ring. She pointed at an oval diamond with a halo made from tiny stones and a rose-gold border around it.

The man smiled broadly. “Ah varry ghood choice. My personal favorrite. Is on of the most beautiful ons I'ff seen in yearrs.”

He opened the glass showcase and took the ring out to present it to them even better. Viola itched to touch it and see what it would look like on her hand but she could already see that the ring was too wide. She also noticed the scent of the old man. He was an Alpha and shakily reached for her finger to measure her ring size. Viola held her hands close to her chest, not sure what to do.

“It's okay,” James whispered into her ear and snaked his arms protectively around her waist. Viola knew nothing was going to happen to her when he was by her side.

She reluctantly reached out her trembling hand and felt like her arm had fallen asleep and was tingling awake now. The man smiled knowingly as he took her measurements quickly. It was James' turn next before they picked out simple wedding rings in white gold.

“I'd like to get something engraved on them,” James said and let go of her to pull out his wallet for the last time today. Viola arched her eyebrow at him questioningly.

“My name in her ring and hers in mine.”

“Vatta lovely idea. Normally dey just wish for de date of de vedding, or de claiming vidda mates.”

The old Alpha pulled out a piece of paper to write down the names and date but James took the pen from him. “May I?”

Viola wanted to peek over his shoulder but he held a hand over it with a smirk.

“You'll see it soon enough,” he teased her.

“It coold take a veek before you can collect dem or vood you radder, I send dem to your address?”

James nodded, gave them their address, Hallbrooke Tower 37th floor, apartment A, and handed him a stack of bills. Now, with that done, they could finally go home, laden with shoe boxes, lingerie cases, and shopping bags with exclusive names on them. Viola couldn't wait to finally put her feet up and cuddle up with him... if he wanted. But from all she had heard, seen and felt today in his presence she was confident that he would not disappoint her in that regard either.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Always Too Late came up with the idea of using the phonetic spelling of the Dutch accents and also wrote the lines you saw in this chapter. I credit her here because she deserves at least some of the kudos you leave on this story and I don't want to adorn myself with borrowed plumes.


	5. Coming Home

Finally back in their apartment, she collapsed on the couch and toed off her shoes with a deep moan. She leaned her head against the backrest and closed her heavy eyelids. James brought the bags into her bedroom and joined her on the couch a moment later. Viola unconsciously moved closer to him and leaned her head against his shoulder until he draped his arm around her shoulders.

They sat in comfortable silence. Spending the whole day with him had silenced the unsettling throbbing inside her chest and had only left her with tender warmth and contentment. She loved it. Viola let out a soft sigh and smiled with closed eyes. Lips pressed against her forehead and she looked up to her mate.

He was handsome; his soft dark hair, those expressive, green eyes, and the warmth of his smile all gave him a different kind of handsomeness than any of those bulky Alphas she had seen working at Finewood had possessed. She preferred men like James. He didn't fit the stereotype and she couldn't be happier.

“Do I have something in my nose? Why are you staring at me?” he asked and drew small patterns on her shoulder. Viola blinked a few times and eventually shook her head.

“Sorry.”

“You know, you don't have to apologize all the time, right?” he chuckled and got up. She immediately missed the closeness as she watched him move over to the cupboard below the giant wall-mounted TV.

“You said, you like movies -” He slid one of the sides open and revealed a whole collection of DVD'S and old records. “- how about you pick one while I order us pizza?”

Best idea ever, she thought and jumped up from the couch. Viola eagerly crouched down in front of the cupboard to see what he had to offer.

“What would yo-”

“Pepperoni and lots of cheese, please,” she cut him off and scanned the movie collection. He had good taste. She found a movie here and there that had to be a joke. What the hell was _Shoot 'Em Up_? But all in all, he seemed to be into dark stuff: thrillers, horror, action that was more than just explosions and oiled muscles, but intelligent twists and interesting characters.

Viola heard him chuckle behind her before he ordered dinner... or lunch? It was 4 in the afternoon. Was there something like brunch only later? Probably “dunch” or “linner”. She pulled out a thriller she hadn't yet seen but thought it sounded interesting.

“Are we staying in the apartment for the rest of the day?” she asked him and, when he nodded his head, she hurried into her room and changed into something much more comfortable for a lazy afternoon and evening on the couch. When she returned James had already slid the DVD into the receiver-thingy right next to the flat screen and cleared the coffee table before placing a folded wool blanket as a soft layer to cushion his feet later when he finally sat down.

Viola found herself staring at him and followed his smooth movements and the graceful curve of his back with her eyes. She itched to run her hands along his sides and press her body tightly against his. She joined him in the living room and sat back down again.

“Already changed into your new pj's? Maybe I should follow your example. I'll be right back.”

She nodded and caught herself staring at his broad shoulders and ass as he walked into the dark hallway.

Viola tucked her feet under her and grabbed one of the pillows to hug in place of her mate. Her lower body ached dully like it always did the first day of her period. At Finewood the nurses had given her something for the pain but she didn't know if they were specific to Omega's usage or if they were generic over the counter tylenol type pills. Viola chewed the inside of her cheek again, looking over her shoulder to the hallway and wondering if James owned a hot water bottle.

Should she search for it? She had absolutely no idea where he might have stored it in his apartment. Just as she was about to get up and ask him where the desired item might be, he came back and slumped down on the couch next to her. He draped one arm around her shoulders again as if they had already spent hundreds of lazy afternoons like this. He brought his feet up to rest on the padded coffee table before reaching for the remote to start the movie.

Viola almost naturally snuggled into his side and clutched the pillow tighter to her belly. Something that didn't go by unnoticed by him.

“What's wrong? Do you need something for cramps?”

She stared at him wide-eyed, thought for a moment but shook her head eventually. With that she turned back to the screen but Viola could feel his eyes still on her and a growing uneasiness inside her made her feel nauseous all of the sudden.

“Viola, don't lie to me. I don't ever want you to lie to me.” His voice was suddenly threateningly low and serious. She didn't dare turn her head to look at him again.

“Do you want something for your cramps? I can feel that you're hurting.”

He could feel it? The bond-thing was kind of creepy if he also felt like a donkey had kicked him in the guts.

“I'm sorry,” Viola mumbled and cast her eyes down to her hands, fiddling with a corner of her pillow. The nausea subsided immediately when she felt him relax beside her and he sighed deeply.

“Viola,” James purred, making her feel safe and warm in an instant, and turned his upper body to face her directly, “please, don't think I'm angry at you because I am not. I just don't want you to lie to me. I have enough of that all day at work, and especially not about something like that.”

That?

“I can feel when you don't feel well and when you are in pain. Tell me what you want and need, and I'll get it for you if I can.”

I wasn't a question but he still looked at her as if he expected an answer.

“Do you have a hot water bottle?” she asked in a small voice and finally lifted her gaze up to his face.

“I don’t and I am not even sure where I would get one. I assume a heating pad would work just as fine and that I do have.” James stood without another word and she watched him over the back of the couch as he moved into the laundry room just around the corner of the hallway to retrieve the heating pad for her.

He's considerate, she thought to herself once again, and he's caring. Plus he was right. Nobody wants to get lied to and she, as his mate shouldn't even feel the need to, ever. What was the worst thing that could happen?

That he said no, sent her away, or thought claiming her had been the biggest mistake of his life, the little sneering voice in the back of Viola's mind snarked, and her stomach dropped. James might already regret his decision and was searching for a way to get rid of her again. Maybe she had acted stupidly during their shopping trip or had appeared too clingy and needy at home? Maybe she had snapped at him one too many times?

Her heart sped up in her chest as she had flashbacks of the room they had kept her in before the Hunt. She couldn't go back there, and sit and wait for the next Hunt where she would line up for a fresh batch of rapists. Panic rose inside her, trying to choke her alive. She couldn't breathe anymore. It was as if an elephant sat on her chest, making it harder and harder to breathe.

At that moment, James felt her panic attack as if he was having it himself. Suddenly he couldn't breathe properly, like the air filling his lungs didn't contain enough oxygen to survive. He hurried over to her, leaned over the backrest of the couch to press his lips on hers. Driven by instincts he kissed her to calm her down and center her. When their lips touched, they were soft and tasted sweet. To him, it felt like coming home, like he finally belonged to someone, to her. He felt confident that he would be enough for her.

Viola relaxed into him almost naturally and let out the tiniest of sighs against his lips. Her mind went blank and once she had realized that James was kissing her, she couldn't keep from sighing.

That's exactly what he’d wanted to achieve. He cradled her face gently and stroked his thumbs over her soft cheeks before pulling back again.

Her eyes stayed closed and she held her breath for a few additional seconds before looking up at him. Her breath ghosted over his chin when she let out a small laugh.

Their first kiss.

James only regretted that it hadn't been longer. But he was determined to make her laugh and smile countless times from this day on 'til the day he died.

“Please don’t panic, Viola. There's absolutely no reason for that. You don't have to fear anything,” he whispered and kissed her forehead.

Viola nodded and he could feel her blue eyes on him when he walked around the couch with the heating pad. She held out her arms to get the cord out of the way and replace the pillow over it. James sat down again and she immediately nestled up beside him, pressing her slightly colder body against his. Automatically, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and they watched the movie in comfortable silence.

When the pizza arrived, they soon found out that they were both a bit odd. Where everyone else ate from the tip to the crust, they both did it the opposite from the crust to the tip and almost created a huge mess on the white couch. Yet, they managed. James had a couple more years of practice but she was just as much an expert it seemed.

A few hours later James felt her head on his shoulder getting heavier and heavier as her eyes fell shut.

“Do you want to go to bed?” he asked softly and stroked his hand up and down her side.

She nodded but didn't move to get up or even open her eyes. He chuckled and disentangled himself from her embrace, ignoring her unhappy, little groan.

“Come on, let's go to bed.”

Viola let out another groan but this one sounded much more like a growl. James arched an eyebrow at her. He wouldn't let that become a thing between them right from the beginning. He was one of the most patient Alphas he knew and had let her snap at him twice already. But he would draw the line at growling, so he growled back at her and Viola immediately opened her eyes in panic. She sat up straight and whimpered as if to soothe him again. It would've worked if he'd actually been angry or irritated.

“Don't growl at me, Viola. There aren't many things that grind my gears but I don't like to be growled at,” he said calmly and held out his hand for her to take.

Viola chewed the inside of her cheek before accepting it.

The few seconds she had taken to think had felt like drinking hot lead, to James. He felt that if he said one wrong thing or made one wrong move scaring her away, he would lose her. There wasn't any kind of bond between them except for the one he had forced upon her. If he messed this up, he would mess it up for good.

His worries died down when their hands eventually met and they turned off all the lights on their way to the bedrooms. Viola stopped in front of her door, looked down to their intertwined hands and -again- chewed the inside of her cheek.

She should never play poker. Within the first few rounds she would be in crippling debt, James thought.

“Good night, Viola. I'll see you in the morning.”

A slight hint of worry crossed her face before she gave him a soft smile and wished him a good night as well.

Viola felt unsure. Wasn't she allowed to stay with him? She'd liked snuggling up to him on the couch. Why couldn't they continue this for the rest of the night? Well, she wouldn't ask him in case she would seem needy; and he had growled at her... on their first day. Maybe he was regretting that he had chosen her and was separating himself from her before they could get too close. She could see in his face that he sensed her inner turmoil but said nothing. Didn't he care?

No, he was waiting for her to speak up. James wouldn't press on if she didn't want to tell him. He knew that he couldn't expect endless trust from her right from day one. So, if she felt uncomfortable telling him something, he would wait until she was ready... unless he felt that she was nearing another panic attack. Which wasn't the case right now, so he simply leaned forward and brushed his lips gently over her cheek for an innocent good night's kiss.

Viola went to bed but even though she was tired after running around half the day, now she lay awake, staring at the ceiling and fidgeting with her blanket. It was yet another 20 minutes until she gathered all of her courage and crossed the hallway. The door to his bedroom was left ajar, so she could already see from the dark hallway that he was still up. At least there was still light on.

She carefully pushed the door open and held her breath when she saw him sitting on the bed, looking right at her. It almost looked like he had expected her.

He had, in all honesty.

Viola stepped from one foot to the other, not sure if she could enter or not.

“Can I... stay here tonight?” she asked in a small voice. James glanced over to the untouched, left side of his bed and then back to her. James nodded her over with a tiny smile tugging on the corners of his mouth. Viola was still a bit reluctant to enter his bedroom. After all, they didn't know each other and Viola couldn't read him. She was on her period and was scared that he might try something she didn't want once she was in his bed.

“Viola, as I’ve already said, I'm not a sex-driven teenager and I would never force you to do anything.”

“You forced me to get up from the couch half an hour ago,” she countered with an arched eyebrow but moved closer to his bed.

“Yes, because I didn't want you to wake up with a strained neck tomorrow morning. I'm sorry I was only trying to act in your best interest. I will never do something that crazy again. Better?”

Viola smirked and shook her head, while she slowly made her way around the foot of the bed to reach ''her'' side of it.

“I see, I will have to watch my words around you. You read too much into them,” James mumbled and felt her worried pinch again. He looked over to her. She had stopped in the middle of pulling back the covers. He took them from her and patted the mattress.

“That isn't bad, Viola. I watch my words in my job as well. It only shows that you're an attentive listener and I appreciate that. It also means that I don't have to repeat myself all the time.”

Her eyebrows drew closer together while he spoke.

“I like that, Viola, I like you after everything I saw and felt today. I think, we match pretty well. So, please don't assume that you'll have to face punishment or anger every two sentences. Hurting you would ultimately hurt me too. All right?”

She nodded wordlessly and slid beneath the blanket, snuggling closer to him and catching a glimpse of what James had been reading before she had come over. It looked like the forms she had seen at Finewood and when she had the medical examination before they had given her the hormone shot to trigger her Heat for the Hunt.

James quickly hid the report away in his nightstand and turned off the lights. Viola could still make out his profile in the little light that shone in through the full length windows behind the bed's headboard. He returned her staring and looked at her pale face in the darkness before maneuvering his left arm to lay under her head.

“Was that my medical report?” she asked after a few seconds.

James shook his head and let out a deep sigh, “It's work-related. Nothing I want to bother or burden you with.”

Viola nodded silently, thinking.

“You see a lot of suffering in your job, don’t you?”

“I don't like talking about my work, Viola. Especially, when I'm tired,” James yawned and turned to lay on his left side, facing her. His legs brushed against hers, sending a shiver through her entire body. He snaked his other arm around her waist and pulled her chest flush against his own. She was completely encased by him, his earthy, calming scent enveloping her and lulling her into sleep.

 


	6. Ups and Downs

The following weekend was heaven for Viola. She mostly cuddled with James on the couch or helped him cook. They also got to know each other much better than just through sterile questions and answers.

For example, he was lactose intolerant but he could take pills before the meals and everything was fine, also they both detested Brussels sprouts but loved Italian dishes. And the nicest thing Viola had noticed about him, he called her “Darling” sometimes. She loved this old fashioned endearment. It matched his overall well-mannered behavior.

When he had to drive to his office on Sunday to get some notes he needed for work on Monday, they could test how it felt when they were apart. It was a scary moment for both of them as it would dictate how much they would be suffering during his work hours.

Viola was left alone in the apartment and she had expected the suffering to be worse. She wandered through the apartment on her own with her heart clenching here and there but all in all she was fine.

Now, she found herself kneeling in front of the DVD and records cupboard, searching the collection to see if James had good taste not just in clothing, but also in movies or music. Seemed like it, from the names she recognized: Lee Moses, Baby Huey, but also newer stuff like The Underground Youth, Cigarettes After Sex, or Lee Fields and the Expressions.

Viola was glad that she knew how to use a record player. She remembered that Mrs. Gold had given her one for her eleventh birthday because she had always had a thing for older music. Lee Moses' Time and Place album had actually been one of her first possessions and so it wasn't a mystery which record she put on now.

The speakers of the record player seemed to be hidden all around the living space. She couldn't place where exactly the music was coming from and she loved how well-planned through this apartment was. She didn't know if it was James' doing or that of whoever had built this high rise, but who cared?

Viola went to grab her new shoes to try them on for more than just the five steps she had taken in them in the store. The high-heels were pretty flashy. The satin covering was a silvery baby blue and the metal heel was decorated with a delicate vine crawling up. She had fallen in love with them as soon as she had seen them. And like every other woman, comfort was second in line when it came to shoes.

But now it was time to grow accustomed to the pain these beautiful little torturers would bring. She dipped into her bedroom, well, the guest room, and put the shoes on. She opened the shoe box with the fanciest shoes they had bought on Friday. James had said that she would need them sooner or later. Viola had only arched her eyebrow and murmured a small ''okay''.

The music from the living space traveled through the hallway and into the second bedroom. She loved it but she would've loved it more with James around. Viola tried a few steps in the shoes and was surprised to find them super comfortable. Being confident that the shoes wouldn't get dirty, she kept them on and decided to test how well her feet would do with the unnatural high-heeled position.

She strolled around the apartment, clicking away on the hardwood floor, and singing along with Lee Moses. In the end she found herself in the kitchen, fixing herself a quick little snack instead of lunch because she hoped James would be back soon and they could start making dinner together like they did yesterday.

Just as she was singing her heart out, the air was suddenly filled with the scent of her mate and... peonies. When she turned towards the entrance door, Viola found James looking at her with a smirk on his face and a bouquet of white flowers on his hands.

“Hey,” she smiled and swayed over to him, moving her lips to the lyrics of the song.

“As I see, you figured out how to get the record player to work.”

Viola nodded proudly and glanced at the beautiful flowers. James picked up on it and held them out to her.

“Thank you,” she whispered and took the bouquet from him, “They are beautiful.”

“I saw them and thought of you.”

James looked at her with a lop-sided smile and cleared his throat before he shrugged off his light coat and brought his briefcase with his case notes into his office. When he returned, he watched Viola arrange the velvety, bulbous flowers in the vase in the little entrance space. Her smile could make him almost forget that he had to go back to work tomorrow morning and deal with the lowest of human scum. 

This here was his personal heaven. Her tender scent was embracing his senses, directing it away from the grim reality and leading it into a safe space where only good music, beautiful women, and her smile existed.

Viola saw him leaning against the bar counter from the corner of her eyes. He had a strange dreamy look on his face. Who knew what he was imagining when he watched her. She swayed back over to him, letting the slow rhythm of the music dictate her speed and “sensuality”. Even though he was pretty much the only man who had ever shown her any respect and consideration, and she really loved being with him, she wasn't ready for anything more than flirting yet. So the swing of her hips and the steamy look in her eyes were more or less show and she hoped she didn't go a step too far with her teasing and actually cause something that would go too far. For now, at least.

James held out his hand when she was close enough to take it. He pulled her close until her breasts brushed his chest and started swaying with her to the thick soul beat before he actually started singing. 

Viola's smile almost split her face in two when she heard it first quietly but then louder and louder. He had a great voice, almost professional. Hopefully, she would get many opportunities listening to him singing to their future children. With a laugh, she threw her head back and snaked her arms around his neck. She closed her eyes and listened to the duet James and the record player offered her. S he drifted, giving up control and handing it over to James. Viola hummed with him and enjoyed the feeling of his breath as it caressed the skin on her neck right over the freshly scabbed Claiming mark.

They danced until they needed to turn the record over to listen to the B-side. Without needing to say a word, they started making dinner. Lasagna because James had bragged about how he could make a lasagna even Italians lusted for.

Even though her life seemed perfect right now, the one thing she hated was that she found herself opening the same wrong cabinet three times on the search for a plate in the span of five minutes until she gave up. Maybe the fact that it was Sunday and that he would leave for work the following morning had something to do with it or maybe it was also just his weird ordering system.

Her frustrated little huff amused him. When she heard him snicker behind her, Viola couldn't keep from glaring at him which only caused him to snicker again and shake his head while he cooked the meat for their lasagna.

“You'll get it eventually.”

“Or I just rearrange the whole kitchen while you're at work tomorrow.”

“Do whatever you see fit. It's your home until we decide to move somewhere else. But you didn't seem too opposed to the idea of staying here if I didn't misread you completely the last two days.”

He arched an eyebrow at her and stole himself a small slice of cheese from her cutting board.

“No, it's okay if I don't have to think about the height.”

Viola moved her eyes to the tall windows and the grey city below while cutting more slices of the soft mozzarella cheese until the knife suddenly slipped in her wet hands and everything in her body flinched. The blade had turned in her grasp, angled toward her body, and had cut down her palm and halfway into her wrist. Viola screamed when she saw all the blood pulsing out of her body. James was by her side immediately. He took one look at the wound and then quickly pressed a clean dish cloth on the long cut.

“Hospital,” he ordered shortly and positioned her arm to bend tightly at the elbow before going to the wardrobe to grab their coats.

Viola was too shocked to talk. She just trusted him to help her because he was her mate and he wouldn't want her to hurt. Within a few minutes they were in the ER of the closest hospital, St. Mary's just a few blocks down the street, where they had rushed her over to a young doctor who looked like she was barely out of school.

James eyed her with an arched eyebrow when she introduced herself as Dr. Visnijc. Viola clasped onto him with white knuckles while Dr. Visnijc slowly unwrapped the cloth around her pounding wrist. The bleeding hadn't stopped completely but had gotten lighter. Viola couldn't look at the wound. She closed her eyes and turned her head away. James automatically pulled her closer and purred almost inaudibly. Just for her to be heard.

“Can you tell me what happened?” the doctor asked and reached for sterile gauze to clean the wound enough to form a verdict about the depth and severity.

“We were in the kitchen preparing lunch. She sliced some cheese and cut herself when the knife slipped,” James explained calmly and continued to purr when Dr. Visnijc knew everything she needed to know. She nodded slowly and examined the injury.

“It's not as deep as it seems,” she murmured and put away the bloody gauze, “We'll have to stitch it but then you can go home.”

James heard Viola's little mewl at the word ''stitch''.

“We'll be home in no time, darling,” he whispered close to her ear and kissed her temple. She pressed herself harder against him when the stench of the antibacterial liquid flooded the air around them. Viola filled her lungs with his scent as much as she could to ground herself. She still let out a small cry when the needle for the local anesthesia penetrated her skin.

“It'll be over soon,” James whispered again and purred even deeper, comforting her with sound and vibration. Usually he hated public display of affection but he desperately wanted her to stop shaking. The bond was thudding in his chest, making him feel jittery and almost restless.

Viola nodded against his chest, trusting him fully. She would've never thought that she would be able to trust him so quickly and so completely. Four days into their life together and she was already willing to follow his lead blindly. Partially because he always seemed to have everything under control. Nothing seemed to unsettle him.

She felt the pressure of the doctor's hands on her while she stitched up her arm. All while James continued to purr calmly and watch Dr. Visnijc closely. She was done fairly quickly with her work and told him when Viola would have to return to have the sutures removed. Dr. Visnijc bandaged the wound and handed her a few tylenol.

“I'm Omega,” she whispered when she held the package of pills in her uninjured hand.

“I know. They work for everyone. The butterfly tape will fall off on its own in about a week and by then the wound should be closed up. Until then try not to get it wet.”

“Do you need anything apart from the information I gave the nurse at the front desk or can we go home straight away?”

“Will you pay or your insurance?”

“Insurance,” James answered, knowing that her examination could be paid by his insurance as well because she was his ''spouse''. Hurray for working for the state. He rubbed Viola's spine up and down while she stared at the bandage on her wrist and palm.

“Then I think you're free to leave. If you experience any numbness in your fingers, you should consult a neurologist. Have a nice day.” And she was gone, having done her job and being free to help other patients now.

Viola didn't remember how she got home after that. She only woke from her thoughts when she entered the apartment and was confronted with the blood-covered kitchen counters and floor. James guided her into the bedroom to bring her as far away from that sight as possible and into a safe environment while he took care of the slaughter house in his kitchen.

He knew she was in shock. She would probably break down tonight. Hopefully not tomorrow when he had to be back at work in the morning. He had used half of his vacation days for the Hunt and Friday to be able to help her adjust to life outside the closed environment of her academy.

Grocery shopping had been a thrill yesterday with her first time surrounded by 50 different brands of corn flakes. They had bought twice as much as he would've generously expected for a two-person household but most of the food didn't expire within the next two weeks so it wasn't like he had wasted money.

Now he was wiping his mate's blood off the counters and tried to avoid getting any of it on his clothes. James didn't want her to see any traces of it when he returned to her to offer a take-out order instead of continuing with their lasagna plans.

But right now, he had other concerns. James concentrated on the task at hand while he tried to keep himself from thinking about the sensation of the twisting bond in his chest. It didn't necessarily hurt, it just wormed through his guts and made him feel uneasy.

“Do you want me to help you with that?” he heard behind him when he was done with cleaning the counters. The only things left now were a few drops on the dark wood floor. When he looked over his shoulder, he almost couldn't believe she was the same person who had called him a fraud because he had never seen  _ Fight Club _ yet claimed to be a film freak. Now her eyes were huge as she peeked around the corner of the fridge.

“No, I can manage. How about you pick something to order? I don't think either of us are in the mood for cooking anymore.”

Viola nodded and quickly reached around the corner to grab the different restaurant flyers from the fridge. She disregarded the magnets that fell to the floor in the hallway as she flicked through the menus and coupons while James finished his cleaning work.

When he turned around again, she stood right in front of him and held out the flyer to his favorite Korean place.

“What do you want?”

Viola just shrugged and looked down to the patch on her left wrist.

“People will think I tried to kill myself,” she murmured after a few moments.

“But we both know you didn't and that's all that matters.”

James rubbed his hands up and down her upper arms to soothe her. The air around them smelled disgustingly sour. She was feeling down and was nauseatingly distressed. He wanted to do everything in his power to change that again.

“Who cares what people think?”

“You do. Everyone does,” she whispered and pressed her face into his chest.

James hugged her tightly, rocking her in his arms and purring lowly. The tension slowly left her body, her shoulders relaxed and her breathing deepened when she filled her lungs with his already familiar scent.

“You are much more important to me than the opinion of the people out there.”

Viola sighed against his chest and snaked her arms around his middle, hugging him back and silently thanking him just for being on this planet for her.


	7. Boredom and "Fun"

When Monday came the next morning, things were more than stressful. James had overslept because he had purred for Viola half the night to make sure she was okay. As a result he had to run around the apartment like the place was on fire.

Thankfully, Viola knew how to make coffee. So while he was under the shower she stood in the kitchen and watched the black liquid drip into James' mug. She unconsciously traced the cut on her hand under the patch and listened for his steps on the floor.

When they came, the coffee was ready to be consumed and give its reviving power to James. He definitely wasn't a late riser but usually he didn't have problems getting out of bed, except for today of course. Luckily, he wasn't due in court today so he was at least not pissing off a judge being a little late this morning.

James wished he had more time to properly say goodbye to her but time was ticking.

“I'll be back around 6. Shall I bring dinner?” he asked as he downed his way too hot coffee, and cursed inwardly at his own stupidity.

“Um... no, I'll make something. Maybe I'll try lasagna again,” she answered quietly and looked down to the patch again. James had missed the last part while making sure his briefcase was filled with everything he needed for the day. He hurried over to her, circled his arm around her waist and gave her a gentle kiss.

“It's just a little cut, darling. Please don't think about it too much. If I can, I'll call you around noon.”

And off he went to fight the bad guys.

Viola swallowed thickly and took a deep breath. She knew she wouldn't suffer too much during his absence but the nagging churning in her guts was a constant reminder of him and of their bond. She lay in bed with her face pressed into his pillow and hoped that the traces of his scent would stop the twisting in her guts but it only seemed to make it worse.

On her way from the bedroom to the living space, she passed his half open office door. She knew he didn’t want her to walk into the room but she was bored and maybe she could watch the fish for a few minutes. Viola wasn’t even sure if the animal was still alive. James had spend almost every waking second with her leaving no time to tend to the fish.

Viola carefully pushed the door further open and glanced around in the somehow cold and hostile room. It felt like she was going in here behind his back until she saw the three coffee mugs on his desk and shook her head. Alright, somehow he had found the time to be in here and work, apparently. So he had also taken care of his fish.

She shook her head and huffed a laugh while collecting the dirty dishes. Viola looked around in the white room and searched for more mugs or cups until her eyes fell on an old shoe box peeking out of the build-in closet at the other side of the room. With furrowed brows she crossed the room and took a closer look. With her hands full she couldn’t touch any of the old videocassettes and the stacks of pictures held together by rubber bands.

From what she could make out, the pictures had been taken at a school or… his orphanage? There were only boys of all ages with black uniforms and stone-cold expressions. Viola hunched down to get a closer look and see if she could find James among the other kids. Maybe he was one of the youngest because none of them really looked anything like her mate. Unless…

Maybe she wasn’t looking at his own memories but evidence from a case he was working on? Probably. Viola left the photos and videos alone. She wasn’t sure if he even owned something they could watch the videos on.

She moved over to the TV and managed to distract herself with Judge Judy for a couple of hours during which she was sure she had lost a few brain cells to this bullshit on the screen.

Her highlight was his call at 12 o'clock.

“Hello, darling, how has your day been?” he asked and she heard the rustling of paper in the background.

“Boring,” she sighed and surfed through the channels while the TV was muted.

“Well, you could watch TV or read, or write, or call some friends from your academy,” he suggested and unknowingly made Viola choke. He couldn't even imagine how deep the last part cut her.

Her friends from Finewood couldn't answer her calls and the other Omegas she knew from there had never been particularly friendly to her. Competitiveness among unclaimed Omegas was famously fierce. She was glad that she didn't have to have any contact with those girls, well, women anymore.

“Maybe, I'll find something interesting on the internet. Wait, can I even use your laptop? I don't have one. I don't even have a mobile.”

“A smartphone, darling,” James corrected her and sounded distant.

“Am I keeping you from work?”

“No, no. I’m actually on my break.”

“But you are still working,” Viola concluded when she heard more of paper rustling in the background, “Maybe I should just stick to watching TV and wait until you're back home. What do you want for dinner?”

“Whatever you want to make. I think we communicated enough on our personal tastes to know that we’re mostly on the same page when it comes to food.”

 

 After a couple of hours filled with more senseless soap operas she decided to make something a bit more time consuming for dinner: A quiche made from scratch. Maybe not the most elaborate but enough to keep her busy for a while.

She was just about to turn on the oven to preheat when she heard him.

“Hey,” James greeted her and unconsciously sniffed the air for any trace of negative emotions. There were none, at least nothing too strong, so he walked over to Viola and snaked his arms around her waist.

“How was your day?” she asked and leaned against him.

“I thought about you the whole time.”

“Me too,” Viola whispered and closed her eyes.

“Wow, didn't realize how self-centered you are.” James waited for her snicker and he wasn't disappointed. She opened her eyes again and laughed quietly. James' fingers found the patch on her wrist and brought her hand up to his lips. He pressed a soft kiss on her skin and mumbled, “And how about this?”

“I took a tylenol an hour ago when it was hurting but now it's okay.”

“I wonder if it's going to be healed enough before the museum reception.” He mumbled to himself.

Viola furrowed her brows.

“What reception?” There was a hint of fear in her voice. She didn't want to be among too many people, strangers, Alphas.

“Next weekend there is a fundraiser for the DA's election bid at the Museum of Modern Art. It’s one of those official events where people will notice when you don't show your face there.”

That didn't really sound like fun, she thought and looked down to her patched up hand. Well, hopefully she would be able to hide her injury. She didn't want people to get the wrong ideas about her or her relationship with James.

“It'll be alright, darling. Nobody will notice it when you're wearing your new dress and the shoes from yesterday,” he whispered and kissed her right over her claiming mark. It sent a shiver down her spine that pooled in the pit of her stomach.

“So, what are you cooking? It smells amazing.”

Viola smiled at him and the easiness he brought with him and his soft voice. When he was gone to work, she hadn't even realized how much she had missed him. Only now that he was holding her, making her smirk and smile, she knew how much his presence grounded her.

* * *

  
On Saturday evening, James stood in front of the mirror in his walk-through closet and mumbled curse after curse because his damn bow tie just wouldn't stay in the right spot. He heard her heels click on the hardwood floor coming toward him. Her scent immediately filled the air in the little room, drawing him to turn around. James hadn't seen her in the dress before and he couldn't wait to find out if she looked as stunning as he imagined

And of course she did. Viola stood by the door and wiped her sweaty palms over the skirt of her dress. She was careful not to tear the fresh scar. They had removed the stitches only a couple of hours earlier but they had told her that she was healing well and not to arm wrestle for a while but a little fun would be okay.

But fun was definitely not what Viola expected tonight. She was scared of what this event would be like. What if she tripped and landed in the bowl or something else that would embarrass him?

“You look gorgeous,” James commented and turned around to her just as she blushed a little.

“Thank you. You look very handsome yourself.”

“Apart from that stupid bow tie,” he groaned and pulled the piece of black silk off his neck for the fourth time within the last 15 minutes.

Viola quickly stepped over to him and started tying the bow for him like she had learned in Finewood. She remembered the compliments she had received from their teacher. After they had marked her as prey, she had thought she would never get the chance to show this little talent.

James’ hands almost naturally came to rest on her hips. Her breath hitched inaudibly but her fingers kept on working.

“Where did you learn this? Your academy?”

“Finewood, yes. I was trained to be the perfect wife and mate. I didn't end up in the Hunt because of bad grades.”

“Why then?” James blurted out but regretted his thoughtless question instantly. Viola tensed up and swallowed thickly.

“Do you really want to know right now?” she whispered lowly.

“No, I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to. I'm sure, they had some ridiculous reason to destroy your life.”

“Yes, they did,” Viola replied and made a few final tugs on the bow tie until it looked perfect.

James turned around to face the mirror again to check his appearance one last time before they could finally head to that dreadful party. He caught a glimpse of her sad face in the reflection. She looked down to her pointy heels and kneaded her hands in front of her.

“Viola, why are you worried?”

She lifted her gaze up to him and shook her head as a silent answer.

“I didn't want to bring you down, darling. I had hoped that at least one of us could have fun tonight because I won't.”

“Why not?” she wanted to know with furrowed brows.

James sighed and walked over to her, laying his hands back onto her hips.

“Because, frankly, I am not a very social person and most of the people who are going to be there tonight are either my co-workers or supervisors. I only go to these events because it's expected of me. And finally I have a beautiful woman in my arm to make them all jealous.”

“Then I'll try my best not to embarrass you in front of so many important people... and still have fun with you there.”

James smiled broadly at her and helped her in her light jacket before they left for the party. She held onto him the entire way to the Museum of Modern Art where tonight's event was being held. Viola still found ''the outside world'' unsettling and scary. There were simply too many people and even though she felt safe with James by her side, he was still one against a whole city. Maybe one opponent was manageable for him in a fight but she already feared what would happen if they ever stumbled across a pack of youngster who liked her scent.

It only got worse when they entered the museum and she saw all the people in their fancy suits and expensive dresses. She could smell that many of the other women were also Omegas and their mates had all claimed them, but still.

“Too many Alphas,” she whispered when James noticed her shallow breathing and had looked at her slightly concerned.

“Just concentrate on my scent and it'll hopefully get better in a few minutes,” he said quietly and squeezed her ice-cold hand reassuringly. Viola managed a small smile and did what he'd suggested. She stood a tiny bit closer to him and sucked in a lungful of his familiar scent. Home has a smell, she had read in one of the Omega magazines as a teenager, and to her it was his scent.

They were right. It didn't matter to her that she had had no say in her claiming... considering the alternative. Although, she would've liked a ''normal'' meeting a lot better. The thought of the auction and the reason she'd never even been given the chance to present herself, made her feel angry and disappointed again.

James furrowed his brows, concern written all over his face, and squeezed her hand once more to bring her back to reality.

Shit. She wanted to enjoy this, for him, and was a downer instead. Great.

“Do you want to go home again? It would be no problem.”

“No, I'm fine. We haven't talked to anyone yet. Maybe you could introduce me to some of your co-workers so I know who you're working with the whole day,” she suggested but only received a quirked eyebrow from him.

“I work with police officers and defense attorneys most of the time. None of them are here tonight. I'm basically just here to be seen in case someday I want to work as a DA so people at least know my face.”

Viola let go of his hand and instead curled around his elbow. They started strolling over to the makeshift bar while James nodded his polite hellos to people who recognized him, and in Viola's opinion, there were surprisingly many.

“Do you want to become DA one day?”

They reached the bar and James ordered two glasses of water before he answered, “Maybe. I wouldn't object to a position as judge either, but I don't think I want to stay ADA for the rest of my work life.”

“But that would mean even more work, wouldn't it?” Viola asked and sipped her water.

“No, not as a judge.”

“Then I want you to become a judge and be home more often,” she decided and caused him to chuckle over the determination in her voice.

“As you command.” He brought her free hand up to his mouth and gave its back a quick kiss before anyone could see it. The soft music that had been playing in the background the whole time was silenced all of the sudden and a tall, gray-haired man in a tuxedo stood before the musicians.

“Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen...”

And a very long, boring speech followed. Viola really tried to pay attention but it was just impossible. He made jokes about people she didn't know and once or twice she laughed because James huffed a small laugh before sipping his glass of water.

The fact that he consciously made the decision to drink water instead of something alcoholic that would've had only a mild effect on him if any at all, was interesting and something that captured her mind much more than the speech from -whom she later found out- the mayor.

When he finally was done with his bad jokes and complicated sentences the audience applauded politely and the music started playing again. Viola just wanted to ask James what was the story behind the glass of water when a couple, who were a few years older than James, came over.

“Hello James, I hadn't expected to see you here tonight,” the man said with a low rumble of laughter.

He tensed up immediately and Viola grew uneasy. Why did he tense up when someone simply greeted him?

“I couldn't possibly stay away and miss catching this speech.” His sarcasm was subtle enough to go by as an unenthusiastic statement. Viola, though knowing him for only a week, tried to hide her smirk behind her glass. Her hand around his arm grew a little looser but only for a second before the wife of the stranger addressed her.

“I've never seen you around. We were already fearing James here would never find himself a partner.” One glance at her half covered claiming mark. “Or mate?”

The man raised his thick eyebrows and his mouth formed a surprised ''oh''.

“I wasn't aware of any auctions lately.”

Viola looked at James with a pinch of fear. Was he going to tell them where they had met and how he had claimed her?

“I didn't find her in an auction, Mr. Morgan, and if you'll excuse us now,” James said in his usual composed manner but she could feel that he was getting more and more tense, almost irritated. They strolled through the crowd until he was sure that nobody could hear them talk.

“They will think that I bought you from your parents.”

“But you didn't and what am I supposed to say when people ask me about my family?” she whispered lowly. The music from the band got louder and a few couples positioned themselves on the wide dance floor to sway to the soft rhythm. James took her hand in his and they danced next to the other couples.

Viola still waited for an answer to her question but he stayed quiet.

James pulled her tightly against his chest and closed his eyes when her head came to rest at his shoulder. If he listened close enough, he could hear her soft sighs. He would have to think of something to solve the problem of their first meeting. It wasn't a problem that she was a Baby of the Hunt like himself but that he'd picked her out of the Hunt was. He knew that once people started to ask the simplest questions about her heritage, things would blow up right in their faces.

James pulled her closer and took in a deep breath, filling his lungs with her warm scent. Normally, he would stand in the corner of the room and watch others dance with their wives and mates. Now, he was one of them and, although he didn't like to show his emotions openly, he wouldn't let go of Viola now or ever. She was his mate, his other half, and the most important person in his life, even if he couldn't say or show it obviously enough.

Viola could feel the eyes of the other people on her. Whispers traveled over to her. She picked up words like James, mate, and Hunt. Her heart stopped. What if the people knew about her and how they had become mates. She felt James' hand on her spine move slightly up and down stroking her gently which was soothing the tension out of her muscles.

The song morphed into the next one and James simply kept dancing with her, despite the whispers he also heard from the people around them.

“Just ignore them, darling. What do they know about us with their silver spoons down their throats,” he whispered in her ear so lowly that it almost sounded like a purr to her. After yet another song, they stopped dancing and got themselves new drinks, water again.

“Why no alcohol?” Viola asked and was able to smile again after he had calmed her down again. He had his arm around her waist to demonstrate to everyone that she belonged to him alone.

“Because, even though it's almost impossible to get drunk for an Alpha, they can still become alcoholics. I'd rather not take my chances at it but if you'd like a glass of champagne, I'll get you one.”

“Well, I'd like to at least taste it. I have never had a chance before.”

James squeezed her waist once before going back to the bar to fetch her a drink. Viola stood there in the open room. Around her, people talked in small groups or were dancing. She watched them silently. Most of them didn't pay her any attention until a young man with dirty blonde hair sauntered over and offered her a glass of champagne.

“Thank you but my mate is just getting me one,” she declined with a polite smile and tried to find the familiar pitch black head of James.

“Why wait if you could have it right now?”

He smiled and stepped even closer. His scent crept into her nose and created a bitter taste on her tongue. But Viola smiled despite herself. She didn't want people to think she was impolite.

“He is already on his way and I'd rather wait for him. Otherwise his trip to the bar would've been wasted.”

The man still moved closer and Viola's cheeks started to hurt from her strained smile.

“Are you really sure you wouldn't rather have mine? Just a sip. I can't believe you actually chose him. I think, if his scent didn't prove it, nobody would actually believe that he's an Alpha. A Bastard of the Hunt to top it off.”

That was one step too far. Viola's smile disappeared and just as she wanted to tell this dick to fuck off, James came back and shooed the younger man away.

“Did you make new friends?” he hissed and pushed the champagne into her hands.

“Anything but,” she replied, almost growling out the words and glaring into the stranger’s direction.

“Don't play the disgusted one now. I saw you smiling at him.”

Viola stared at him dumbfounded. What?!

“Are you saying, I flirted with him?”

The dark expression on his face was answer enough and sour anger boiled up in her guts.

“I am your mate and that's exactly what I told him,” Viola explained in a sharp tone.

“With a candy cane smile on your sweet little lips.” He shook his head angrily. “I should've known it.”

 


	8. Behind the masks

Viola couldn't believe her ears. What the FUCK?! He should've known? Known what? That some asshole approached her and tried to charm her with a slimy toothpaste smile? Then he should've stayed with her, taken her with him to the bar, and shouldn't have given that douchebag even the slightest chance to talk to her.

“What's that supposed to mean, huh?” Viola hissed and glared at him, forgetting for a moment where they were.

“That I knew it. Interpret into that whatever you want,” he sneered and turned his head away like he couldn't bear her sight anymore.

He better fucking apologize, she thought angrily and twirled around to find the ladies room, leaving James standing there in the depths of his stupid jealous fit. Viola was lucky because when she found the bathrooms there actually wasn't a mile-long queue in front of the door. As if just for her, there was one stall free for her to hide in until her disappointed tears either dried or this stupid party was over.

She couldn't believe that James actually accused her of flirting. She was horrified by this loud and chaotic, unfair world with him as her only calming anchor and he thought she would simply flutter her lashes at some douchebag as soon as his back was turned?

Viola sat down on the closed lid of the toilet seat and crossed her arms over her chest. She had never given him any reason to doubt her loyalty and fidelity. Maybe somebody else had betrayed his trust before and had cheated on him but she was his fucking mate! He should trust her of all people!

Suddenly she heard a familiar voice entering the bathroom. It was the woman who was with that Mr. Morgan fellow, who was obviously insincere about being concerned James would never find a mate.

“Oh my god, and did you see her dress? Black like a widow with him standing right next to her. It even covered her claiming mark. Probably because it's just as pathetic as he is. I mean, it's bad enough that he went to the Hunt. It's obvious from the days he took off. And either he went to the Hunt with her already as his fiancée or he actually caught her in the Hunt and claimed her. That man has absolutely no self-control.”

She huffed and Viola had to cover her mouth to keep from gasping too loud.

“Can you imagine a mate who had been in the Hunt? Jesus, and to think he would actually show her off like that while she is nothing but a whore. Incredible.”

“I don't think she would've been in the Hunt willingly, Margret,” another woman said. Viola pressed her hand harder over her mouth to silence herself. She definitely didn't want this witch to know that she was in here, hearing every venomous word that dripped from her lips. She didn't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing the hurt in her eyes.

“But there must've been a reason for it. The government wouldn't put well behaved and eligible Omegas into the Hunt.”

“If you say so, but we don't even know if she actually was prey,” the other sighed.

“I bet she was.”

The voices grew more and more silent as they made their way to the door and eventually left. Viola slowly stepped out of her stall and caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirrors over the sinks. Her mascara ran down her cheeks, some was smeared from the hand she had muffled her gasps with.

Hopefully one of us has fun tonight. Now it sounded like James had cursed them both. Viola quickly wiped all traces of her tears from her face and hurried through the crowd back to James. She found him right where she had left him, still alone and seething judging by the look in his eyes when he saw her.

“Can we please go home?” Viola asked before she was even close enough for him to understand her whisper.

“What?”

“Can we please go home?” she repeated with desperate eyes. At first he only arched his eyebrows at her, still miffed because of her inappropriate flirting... at least in his eyes. But the dull thudding in his chest told him that she wasn't angry, she was scared.

He nodded eventually and lay his arm around her protectively. Viola snaked her hand underneath his suit jacket and felt his warm muscles move under the finely tailored tuxedo shirt. She suppressed the urge to bury her face in his shoulder because she knew that once they were outside the museum, he would pull her into a tight embrace and make her feel better.

And she was right. He helped her into her light jacket and led her out through the tall glass entrance door. James stopped her right in front of the building and cradled her face in his warm palms. Neither of them said a word. Neither of them needed to. The bond was speaking loud and clear without any words, forcing James to throw his “no public display of affection”-rule over board and hug her tightly still in plain sight of the ''enemies''.

“What happened?” he asked close to her ear, talking so lowly that Viola was sure if she told him what she'd heard, he would go after them and teach them a lesson. The primal Alpha-esque need to keep his mate from any kind of harm, physical or mental, was too strong.

“Home,” she pleaded without answering his question. She didn't want to cause a scene with his bosses and co-workers as witnesses. “Just home.”

James purred soothingly until the painful thudding in his chest had finally disappeared and he was sure that it was alright to at least partially let go of her to hail a taxi and get her back into the safety of their home. He should've known that this was absolutely no place for her. Too many politicians or people who wanted to become ones.

Viola stayed close to him to feel safe. She couldn't understand how other Omegas, Omegas who also went to an Omega academy that include the fear of potentially ending up in the Hunt hanging over their heads, could be so vicious and cruel. These women simply had more luck than her and that wasn't her fault. Viola had never done anything to deserve their scorn. Not from those women and not from James.

The boiling anger she had felt earlier had died down the instant another blow had hit her. He was the only person she could turn to. She hid her face in his shoulder and took deep breaths. His stupid jealousy wasn't forgotten, nor forgiven, but they weren't important in the light of an ''external attack''.

Once they were home and Viola had kicked off her expensive shoes, James asked her again to tell him what had happened. He caught her hand before she could disappear down the dark hallway. She let out a heavy sigh, knowing what he wanted.

Tears were already welling up in her eyes before she even turned around to him. His warm hands cradling her face sent warm showers down her spine.

“Tell me, darling, what happened?” he tried again and stroked her tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.

“I don't understand how they can be so mean...”

James furrowed his brows, softly prompting her to explain.

“When I was in the bathroom, I heard them talk about you and me. They already think that I was prey. It’s only a question of time until they find evidence. I don't think this would be good for your future plans and career.”

Viola stepped a few steps back and moved out of his tender grasp.

“You made a mistake claiming me,” she whispered and wiped her new tears off her cheeks. Her shoulders were shaking from the sobs she held in. She meant what she had just said. Not because she didn't care about herself but because she believed that her presence and status as his mate and partner could harm him more than it benefited him. At least in her mind

“No, I did not, Viola,” he claimed, sounding like it was set in stone and could not be argued with, ”I don't care about those people. I care about you. They have no right to look down on you, or on _us_. None of those people there tonight know what it feels like to have nothing.”

James closed the distance between them again and reached for her hand before he continued, “When we met, we were physically and emotionally naked, driven by instinct and what little reason remained in us after two days of the Hunt. They met in salons or galas where rich parents let their daughters parade in front of old, wealthy men.”

“The Hunt isn't better than that,” she whispered, the memories of that horrible event flooding back into her memory and choking her painfully.

“No, but everything we have, everything in this apartment, we earned.”

“You earned it. I did nothing but get caught by you.”

“I decided to share it with you. Nothing here was given to me out of friendliness or family relations. That's something they will never understand. We are better than them. We worked for what we have,” he told her with determination in his voice and Viola realized that this had to be his personal mantra for every event he had to go to with these terrible people surrounding him.

“It still hurts,” she whispered and looked down to their joined hands.

“I know, darling.”

He gathered her in his arms and rocked her back and forth softly. James tried to keep his breathing even, although his heart hammered in his chest with the white, hot rage that pumped through his veins. He had secretly hoped that those fake people with their fake smiles and happiness would leave her alone as someone new to the circus, not yet knowing the rules of this hideous game.

Evidently he was wrong and he was glad that he found out about this here at home and not at the event. He would've probably exploded right then and there facing the consequences on Monday. Either she had known and had tried to keep him from making a mistake or she had been too busy with her own emotions to think this far ahead. Either way, he was glad that he would have had to drive Downtown to shout at them knowing he’d have cooled down on the drive anyway.

Instead, James did what he instinctively knew was right, meaning holding her tight and comforting her as best he could.

He knew he still needed to apologize for his jealousy but not now, not when opening that topic could chase her out of his embrace again. He had hoped for a laugh tonight and maybe for her to find someone to talk to, to build an acquaintance for brunches or little, light shopping trips. That wouldn't happen and now he had to realize how naive this assumption had been in the first place.

They went to bed without mentioning anything that had happened at that event until the next morning.

 

* * *

 

When James woke around 8 am, Viola was sitting on the edge of the bed with her head turned towards the great window behind the bed's headboard. She had dark circles under her eyes and her cheeks seemed even paler than usual.

“Good morning,” he greeted her and extended his arm to touch her hand.

“I didn't flirt with him,” Viola stated without turning her head away from the window.

James let out a heavy sigh and turned onto his back before sitting up as well.

“I know,” he sighed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

“Then what was that yesterday?” Viola wanted to know and her voice was heavy with disappointment and a trace of anger.

“Mistrust,” he mumbled after a long pause.

“You don't trust _me_?”

“I don't trust men and Alphas in particular.”

“You're an Alpha,” she argued and finally turned her head over her shoulder to look at him through her tired eyes.

James wondered if she had slept at all. He wasn't awake enough for this conversation but he tried, “Yes, but I won't use you and then simply walk away.”

“You won't? Why, because you bit me?” she asked quietly and pressed her lips to a thin line.

“Yes, because I am your mate. I gave you a promise when I made you mine.” He didn't like the sharpness in her voice but remained calm. Getting loud or irritated would only make things worse.

“Never heard you promise me anything when you sank your teeth into me.”

James furrowed his brows and crawled over to sit next to her. “Claiming you was the promise. That I will keep you as safe and as content as I can. If I had known how much this stupid fundraiser would throw you off, I would've never asked you to go.”

“It wasn't just the fundraiser and the people there that brought me down. It was you too,” Viola whispered and shook her head, “You didn't trust me, no matter what you say now. How are we about to have a family if you don’t trust me?”

Viola stood up and walked into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. She had hardly slept after the emotional turmoil yesterday. James followed her and grasped her wrist to make her turn around to him.

“I'm sorry, Viola. I truly am.”

She suddenly had a sour taste in her mouth. His hand around her wrist seemed to burn or maybe she was just cold? Could this be him? His emotion? Was he feeling bad and that caused his feeling? Viola wanted it to stop. The taste in her mouth was getting worse with every passing second. She looked up into his eyes and finding heart-shattering remorse. It was crystal clear that he meant it when he said he was sorry. Viola let out a heavy sigh, twisted her wrist out of his grasp and hugged him tightly.

James sucked in a sharp breath. He definitely hadn't expected that after how this day had started. But he was glad to have her back in his arms. He buried his nose in her hair and savored in the closeness to her. Although her scent was most prominent, there remained a trace of her distress in the air that made it feel thick and stale.

Her comment about having a family had felt like a baseball bat right in the guts. She was thinking about children while he already had a hard time getting used to one person in his life he couldn’t just leave when he had too much to do with himself or work. They would have to discuss this topic another time. He needed to focus on the here and now. She was in his arms, feeling a bit colder than usual but seemingly forgiving him for his jealous fit.

Viola could feel his muscles relax under her hands. She pressed her face harder against his chest and closed her eyes. She hoped there weren't any more fundraisers they had to go to so he would never have to apologize to her again.

If only she'd known what the coming week would bring.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick question for my frequent readers: How much would you pay for an ebook on Amazon? For like a complete book? I am trying to figure something out and could really use some help with it.  
> Thanks to everyone!


	9. Miss Vermeer

On Monday morning, Viola had a hard time letting him go. And as much as she loved cooking and adored the way he complimented her dinners when he came home after work, she was alone! James had hardly left when the doorbell rang and the door man called that a courier from the jewelry store was here.

She started planning out the perfect scene while she waited for the elevator to arrive: James would come home. The rings would be in a dark blue, velvet covered box in his hand when he guides her over to the couch. Once she would sit, he would kneel down in front of her and offer her the rings like she'd seen in so many cheesy romance movies on the movie nights at Finewood.

She itched to open the package with its fancy purple bow and read what James had ordered to have engraved into them. But Viola waited. She waited until 7 pm before she finally heard him coming home. Dinner had been ready at 6, his usual time, and therefore was cold now. When he entered the apartment he could tell from the scent in the air that she was angry. As if the clenching in his guts wasn't already telling him what she was feeling.

“You're late. The rings arrived today,” he heard behind him when he hung up his jacket.

“I know, I'm sorry. Work was horrible. Did you try them on yet?”

“No, I was waiting for you to come home. Why didn't you call? At least let me know you'd be late?” she replied and glared at him for destroying her perfect little image of how this day should've gone. Viola stood behind him with her arms crossed over her chest and waited for him to redeem himself by being perfect now.

“I was working, Viola. I have a job and that requires me to be in court or talk with police officers, witnesses or victims,” he told her. His sharp tone matching hers. After a hard day at work, he really didn't want to be hissed at once he came home. “Now, I am home and I can give you my attention. This is what adults do.”

Viola huffed and turned on her heel. She was angry and felt like he had more important things to take care of than her. She was his mate and they hardly saw each other. They had only been together for little over a week and she had already been to the ER and through a couple emotional whirlwinds.

Viola had eaten half an hour ago, the food had already been cold by then, and she was pissed! Why did she put the effort into making him a nice dinner, timing it perfectly for it to be steaming hot when he came home in the evening. She had spent an hour in the kitchen for the food to be fucking cold!

Fuck the rings and fuck him. She walked into the guest room and threw the door shut behind her. Maybe this wasn't the most mature way to behave but she was 18 years old. She was still a teenager and still had the right to be immature and childish, including a thick-headed toddler who threw a tantrum, at times. Viola sat on the bed and stared out of the wide windows.

James let out a heavy groan when he heard the door slam. This day was getting better and better. First his colleagues asked him stupid questions why they had left so suddenly on Saturday evening, he had lost a case because the jury must've been bought the defendant's ''good Samaritan''-act, and now Viola was mad at him. The only thing that could make this day even worse was an incorrect engraving on the rings.

He dragged his body into the living room and slumped down on the couch. His back was killing him and he was starving. But the rings were his priority now. Viola had placed the jewelry box on the coffee table with its delicate, purple bow still in place and facing him.

James looked over his shoulder to the hallway. He wanted her with him when they looked at their weddings rings. After all, they were theirs. Both of them would wear them to portray their bond without showing or uncovering her neck to the world.

But if the annoying clenching and twisting in his guts was telling him the truth, Viola was not in the mood to see him. James sighed and moved to open the box alone. This was not how he had imagined this but he wouldn't throw stones at angry dogs if he could avoid it. meaning giving her more reason to curse him. He silently believed that she was overreacting. It wasn't like they didn't own a microwave to reheat the food she made.

He pulled off the ribbon and checked the box's content and when he saw the velvet covered ring boxes, he felt a tiny flutter in his chest. Even though they were mates and had a connection level that couldn't be closer, seeing these traditional signs of belonging together, made him almost nervous. For a split second he feared she would say no; but he wouldn't ask her anything. It was a shame he had never had the chance to ask her the famous question “Do you want to be mine?”.

His fingers started to shake a little when he opened the larger ring box with the two golden wedding rings, the ones he had ordered to be engraved. Due to the muted lighting around the couches, he couldn't make out what the engraving inside the rings said, so James moved over to the dinner table directly under the low hanging, modern chandelier.

A smile stretched over his face when he read the words he had given the jeweler a little over a week ago. With the perfect rings and newfound lightness, James made his way down the hallway, finding the guestroom door shut while their bedroom door was still slightly ajar. It felt like a small stab in the middle of his chest when he realized that she was angry enough to even reject his scent around her.

Living with a mate who is mad at him was no fun. He dipped into his office and returned a few seconds later with everything he hoped he'd need to make it up to her.

When Viola heard the knock on the door she almost screamed at him to leave her alone, but she bit her tongue when the door opened. The mattress behind her dipped when he sat down and Viola only waited for his hand to touch her, to snap.

James could almost hear her grinding her teeth when he sat down on the edge of the bed and opened the ring box of her stunning engagement ring. Somehow he felt like he should kneel down in front of her when offering her the ring but with her seething and sitting on the bed, he would rather not get himself in a submissive position.

“Here.”

Viola's head snapped around to him. Here? That's how he offered her the rings? Her left thumb had more romantic sensitivity in it then he had in his entire body. She shook her head disappointed and looked down at the sparkling ring. It was breathtakingly beautiful but James should've put much more effort into presenting it to her.

The moment was gone and no matter what he said or did now, it wouldn't make it any better. Viola took the ring from the box and looked at it in the light of the evening sun before James practically stole it from her and grasped her hand to slip the small expensive ring onto her ring finger. The coldness and lack of emotion he showed while doing this only added to her already burning anger. When he was done with the procedure, because this couldn’t be called anything else, she jumped off the bed and glared at him.

“Can't you be a bit more romantic?”

“Do you want me to kneel in the mud while gallons of rain come down us or shall I bring a boom box and stand underneath your window in the middle of the night? Viola, this is not a movie and, trust me, I do have a surprise for you when you look at the engraving of the wedding rings.”

“Who says I want it, after the way you just slid that ring on my finger with all the sensitivity of the Doctor who put stitches in my hand? And what makes you think and Omega ever thinks “Oh, how romantic it would be to sign a contract when my mate gifts me jewelry.”

“Do you even know what that feels like?” he asked and arched an eyebrow.

“No, I haven't.”

“And I have never given anyone jewelry before. Now, please sit down or come back here and look at the engraving.”

Viola crossed her arms over her chest and jutted out her chin, still acting like a petulant child. Only when James got up from the bed and headed for the door again, she quickly jumped back on the bed.

He shook his head involuntarily, reminding himself that she was technically a teenager with the corresponding moodiness and temper. James sat back down on the edge of the bed before pulling out the other ring box from his pocket. This time he gave her the box as it was for her to open it herself. When their hands accidentally met, he furrowed his brows because she felt like ice.

She opened the box and ignored the little spark the accidental touch had caused in her again. Even when she was angry at him, he was still her mate no matter what. The rings were almost matte in comparison to the diamond sparkling on her finger already. Viola pulled out her ring, judging by the petite size of it in contrast to the other one, and looked at it. There it was, the moment many women wore wide flowery dresses for and invited all of their friends and family to share the second they bound themselves to their husband.

And then here they were. They didn't stand in front of an altar with a white-haired priest speaking the words they would have to repeat for their bond to become official in the eyes of the law and god. With slightly shaking fingers, she turned the ring in her fingers and took a closer look of the engraving he had commissioned. “23 rd May 2016” and “James Frederick Scaife” was written in delicate letters on the inside. From this day on she would always have his name with her... as long as she wore her wedding ring.

While Viola looked at her own ring, James waited for her to finally check his ring as well so the surprise could start. When she tried to put the ring on, he stopped her.

“That's my job,” James said quietly and took the small golden circle from her. Now, finally he saw her reach for the other ring.

Viola had almost forgotten about the secrecy he had built around the engraving of his ring. She pulled out the other ring and checked the inside. “23 rd May 2016” and ...her name? Viola Vermeer-Scaife.

James pulled out the old photographs he had hid in his office for this exact moment. He moved to sit right next to her, leaning his back against the headboard like her and pulled out the old, slightly yellowish photographs out of his chest pocket.

“Vermeer?” Viola asked, her anger forgotten.

“If life had been fair you would've had a surname to begin with, meaning you would have a combined surname now, but because you're a Baby of the Hunt you had none. Vermeer is the last surname in your maternal blood line. It's much easier to track down the mother than the fathers, although that's also not impossible either.”

Viola couldn't care less about who her “father” was. He was a pervert and a rapist and nothing more.

“When I read your file while you lay sleeping in this room directly after the Hunt, I had time to do some research and found your last female ancestor with a surname to be a girl named Ada Vermeer.”

She saw the pictures and became more curious when he moved right next to her. Five pictures in total, four of which looked like her last school photo from Finewood. The oldest one was a black and white photo of a young beauty with beautiful doe eyes and a small pouty mouth.

“This was her shortly before the Hunt. She was the only daughter of rich Belgian immigrants,” James told Viola and handed her the thick, old photograph before continuing, “She was born in 1901 and was one of the first non-American students Finewood Academy accepted. It's hard to find out much about her but I did find out that she was prey because her family was pretty much wiped out during the Great War and Alphas didn't want her because she was from Europe. So she ended up in the Hunt in 1919.”

Viola gently caressed the face in the picture while listening to his voice.

“She only had one daughter called Helena, your great-great grandmother. Ada died shortly after the birth.”

Viola shook her head. Almost a hundred years in her family history and every generation had to endure the same horror.

“Helena was a wild child. Her file is full with notes about her misbehaving. She painted walls, danced on tables and climbed on trees. Once she even made it out of Finewood. The whole school was in a terrible turmoil until she returned a few hours later with a new record she desperately wanted to buy in town.”

“No wonder she was given to the Hunt,” Viola murmured and James handed her a picture of an auburn haired woman with beautiful eyes and something wicked about her smile. She already looked much more like her. The hair color must've come from Helena's sire. Father really wasn't the right word for it in Viola's opinion.

“You've got her smile,” he remarked looking at Helena before he moved on telling her about Helena's children and Viola's unknown and mostly dead family. James handed her a new school picture with every new generation he talked about.

James' arm came to lay around Viola's shoulders when she stared at the pictures in her hand. So many lives had been destroyed by stupidity and archaic traditions. And as it was now, things wouldn't change. Many more lives would end the same way as her ancestors had ended theirs; with blood and tears.

James swallowed thickly, remembering the grainy photos he had found in the case file of Viola's grandmother who had died during her third and last Hunt. The things he had seen and wished he could forget again. Viola tore her eyes from the portrait picture in her hands and looked at him with furrowed brows.

“What happened to her?” she whispered and watched him search for a way he could describe the brutality that must have ripped through the Alphas in that Hunt to cause so much damage to a human body.

“She was fought over by too many Alphas who weren't in their right mind. After her death the number of Alphas who were allowed in a Hunt was regulated to fit the number of the Omegas.”

Viola didn't need to hear more. She had seen what people did when they had enough “offer”. She didn't want to know what it looked like when there wasn't.

“Do you want me to continue with your grandmother's story?”

“I don't know. They all ended in tragedy and after they had been wronged and raped. I read somewhere how my mother died and I think in a side note there stood that amniotic fluid embolism seemed to be running in my family because my great grandmother died the same way.”

“But do you know that you have an aunt?”

“I'm sure she was also prey and is dead now like all of my relatives,” Viola sighed and looked down to the many dead women who had their lives ended way too early thanks to ruthless men and cruel decisions.

And here they were. Forever frozen on photographs with their unknowing smiles. Oblivious of their future and still hoping for an end better than their mother's. And here she was, Viola suddenly realized, in the arms of her mate who had put so much effort and money into this single moment. She turned her head toward him and noticed that he looked like he had lost something dear.

“What's the matter?” Viola wanted to know and lay her hand on his knee.

“I was just thinking about the past,” James replied and returned her gaze. She drew her eyebrows together concerned. He didn't seem like he wanted to tell her.

“Thank you for telling me about my family and finding these photographs for me. It means a lot.”

Viola smiled, maybe a little bit sadly, but she meant it when she thanked him. In light of what James had done for her it seemed ridiculous that she had reacted like a bratty child just because he had worked too long.

“How about I put your food into the oven and reheat it for you?” she offered and was glad to see the dark clouds hanging above his head slowly lifting.

“Sounds great.”

They both got up from the bed after James had glided the wedding ring onto her finger and vise versa. It was not as romantic and Academy-award-worthy as she had dreamed it would be but it was true to them. Just the two of them with nothing to hide from one another.

“By the way, did you store them in your office so I wouldn’t find them? Because I did. I just didn’t know they were for me,” Viola told him in a matter-of-fact tone when she reached inside a kitchen cabinet for a plate for him. Her chest suddenly felt like it was trapped in a vice.

“You were in my office?”

“Um, yes. I was bored and I noticed there were some mugs in your office.”

“I thought I had asked you not to go in there.”   
“It’s not like I searched your drawers,” she defended herself, “I found the box in your closet but I didn’t snoop through the photos or anything.”

“And you won’t if you know what’s good for you, Viola,” James growled as his eyes suddenly turned cold. This primal sound scared Viola into whimpering like a wounded animal. It meant trouble. Her instincts tried to keep her from being harmed and the way he looked at her now, she only hoped they wouldn’t let her down now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all the nice comments and answers to my question under the last chapter. You guys are amazing.


	10. Buried in the Past

**** James glared at her. She couldn't stop whimpering; his eyes looked so cold and frightening. She had been through too much to have him turn against her.

“I just collected the dirty dishes,” she explained in a small voice, taking a step back from him but was stopped by the kitchen counter. She slightly tucked her head between her shoulders, showing him that she wasn’t trying to challenge him. He was taller and undoubtedly stronger than her. If he wanted to hit her, she could hardly do anything to stop him. Viola was submissive, scaringly submissive and clinging to the hope that he wouldn't lash out. The muscles at his jaw twitched as he came even closer, towering over her little form.

“You snooped around in my office. I had asked you not to do that right from the start and yet you did it. I thought you'd paid attention!”

She whimpered again to calm him down but the biting gasoline type stench of her fear in the air, penetrating and impossible to ignore like a fire alarm in the middle of the night, only got worse. The stench crawled into his lungs and burned him from the inside but his anger was stronger than the pain. Nothing seemed to help her.

“I did, I swear,” she tried again, holding onto the hope that it might remind him that she was his mate and not the enemy.

“You swear?! You just told me that you saw the pictures! Did you camp on the floor and flip through them like a fucking picture book? Did you make yourself some fucking tea to go with it?!” James shouted at her only inches from her face.

She whimpered again, holding onto the only thing she had to keep herself from being harmed. Viola's body was shaking. Adrenaline rushed through her system and made it impossible for her to calm down. The air around them was nauseating and every breath reminded her that he was boiling with anger. It never occurred to her to question why he was so angry over an old box of photos or if he hated them so much, why did he keep them?

When she saw his hand twitch from the corner of her eye, she was certain he was going to hit her. Viola instantly cowered and cried out in fear and anticipation of the pain he would inflict. But she waited in vain with her hands up to protect her head and her eyes tightly closed.

James turned around when he couldn't take the stench of her fear anymore, grabbed his jacket on his way out of the apartment, and slammed the door behind him with a loud bang.

Viola sank to the cold kitchen floor and only then she could breathe again.

“Mugs, I just got the mugs,” she whispered and tried to calm herself my rocking her body back and forth, “It was just the mugs.”

 

James didn't return until way past midnight. He had been walking around town to calm down for hours to make certain that he wouldn't snap again when he got back to her. When he got back to his building the memories of her frightened face and the smell of her animalistic fear that still hung in his clothes haunted him. It was like it was trying to make him feel nauseous with the intent to punish him for his outburst.

He almost expected to find the apartment completely empty by the time he got home. He had left his wallet there, so she could've just grabbed his credit cards and left him, but when he stepped over the threshold to his personal realm, he suddenly heard children laughing.

Closing his eyes, he knew exactly what this sound was and where it came from. James hung his jacket and toed off his shoes before entering the living space. The lonely blue light from the TV flooded the room. Viola sat on the couch, her head turned towards him with wide eyes.

The smell of fear filled the room again but also something else. Anger. James couldn't blame her. After all the fuss he made about this stupid box, it was only understandable that now she wanted to know what this was all about and that she probably hated him after his show a couple of hours ago.

James saw her reaching for the remote control to stop the shaky home video of a couple of young boys running around in a big garden. He shook his head and let out a heavy sigh.

“Do you mind if I sit down next to you? I'd like to explain this,” he said calmly and nodded over to the scattered photographs on the coffee table.

Viola chewed the inside of her cheek. Something that looked just adorable on her but also meant that she felt uneasy. Eventually she nodded but scooted to the far end of the couch to create as much distance between the both of them as possible.

James watched the video of a bunch of young Alphas, about 5 years old, running around and screaming their lungs out... except for one. He let out another heavy sigh and slumped down on the couch. Of course he hadn't been playing with the other kids when they were allowed to be “brats” as the orphanage teachers had called it.

“What is this?”

“My childhood, Viola,” James answered quietly. The camera moved to the side and focused on a small boy sitting on the stone steps that lead to the play yard from the dormitory hall of the orphanage. He sat all by himself with a thick fairy tale book on his lap.

“Why didn't you want me to see that?”

“Because it hurts to think of it. You don't want to talk about the time between your academy and the Hunt either.”

“It was the worst time of my life,” Viola argued and sounded angry, thinking he was degrading the traumatic, constant fear she had had suffered and comparing it to his childhood.

“Same,” James replied and nodded over to the TV screen.

“I don't even know which one you are but they all seem happy to me.”

Right then the person behind the camera called his name and the reading boy lifted his head. As soon as he saw that he was filmed, he turned his back towards the camera and resumed his reading. Next was a cut and the video showed some kind of a school play. Only one scene, seemingly further at the end of the event.

There was the little reader again, standing at the edge of the stage and nervously kneading his small hands.

Viola looked between the screen and James when the kid started talking... well, not so much talking but stuttering. He closed his eyes, remembering his insane heart rate while he had been standing up there and embarrassing himself to the bone.

“Do you have any idea how many couples are interested in an Alpha when they are searching for a child to adopt?”

Viola shook her head, still staring at the screen.

“Very few want to adopt an Alpha and even fewer when you are a Baby of the Hunt... and none when you stutter because that would've meant therapy or embarrassment in front of their yuppie friends.”

“So, you weren't adopted then?”

“No, and I didn't have many friends either because I wasn't interested in the typical “boy things” like sports or fake fighting to prove who was the strongest for the day.”

James turned his head to look at her directly, “Your academy was a 5-star resort compared to an Alpha orphanage because the academy makes money with the auctions. Alphas don't do that. My orphanage was state founded with cracks in the walls and...”

He swallowed thickly remembering the teachers there. He particularly remembered one who always smiled and pretended to be the nicest person in the world, while every boy knew not to be caught by him when alone. And James had often been alone.

“And what?”

James took a deep, hopefully calming breath and rubbed his hand up and down his thighs. He needed to do something with his hands or he would explode… again.

“Viola, I really don't want to talk about my past. You have happy memories of that time, I don't,” he pressed out through gritted teeth. James had spent decades trying to forget the feeling of that man’s hands on his skin, caressing him in the most disgusting way possible. He felt like throwing up. James closed his eyes and saw this pervert’s smile again. That smile that had given him nightmares for years.

“Then why do you keep them?”

James didn't have an answer. He had asked himself the same question every time his eyes had fallen onto the box in his office and he had felt the shame of remaining silent for too long creeping up his neck again. While he searched for an answer, he kept watching the video compilation he had received when he had left the orphanage on his 18 th birthday. A day he'd looked forward to for years thinking it would be the best day of his life only to have it turn into one of the worst. They had handed him his mother's file. He hadn't anticipated that and his curiosity had him reading the file as soon as he had walked into his new dorm room at the University of Flint. He'd spent his first day at college in a barely contained state of rage.

Viola had read it too, at least it lay on the coffee table, opened on page 3.

“Because keeping it is easier than getting rid of it. These are the only pictures of my childhood I have. No family gatherings, no birthday parties with my best friends, no bright smiles when I received a good grade.”

“But it was honored in your file. You only have good mentions and notes about your behavior and grades in it. And no more stuttering.”

“No, of course not. It stopped after a few years all by itself. That's pretty common with boys in that age actually,” James said matter-of-factly.

“Then you could've been adopted without any problems.”

“I was too old by then, not cute and cuddly enough anymore.”

He let out a long sigh and whispered, “I am sorry for frightening you.”

She looked to the side and thought for a moment. “I never thought that you would ever do this to me. I have never been that scared in my life and you are my mate. You should keep me safe, not make me whimper and whine in fear of you.”

“As I said, I'm sorry, but this-” He nodded over to the pictures on the coffee table. “- is a very sensitive spot.”

“I gathered that... though you were a really cute child.”

She tried lightening the mood again, but the bond told him that she was still tense.

“Can we make this a one time conversation? Ask me whatever you want now... to get it over with,” he asked her, sounding like he was almost in pain. In reality thinking about that time, that orphanage, and the people there was the most painful thing for him.

“We don't have to talk about it, if you -”

“Yes, we do because I don't want to blow up again like I did today should the topic come up again,” James sighed and turned his body around to face her completely.

Viola chewed the inside of her cheek again and glanced at the file. She had flicked through it twice already and had stumbled upon a handwritten note by him under his mother's information.

“Tell me about your parents.”

“I don't have parents, just like you.”

Viola pulled her feet under her butt and the tenseness finally stopped making him feel like throwing up. It was easier to talk now but the topic was still hard.

“You read the file?”

She nodded and he let out another deep sigh before he started telling her about his relatives.

“My mother was a Baby of the Hunt, third generation. Her name was Jane and I was her first and only child. When they took me from her, she smashed the mirror in her bathroom the day before her next Hunt and slit her wrists with the shards,” he said in an almost analytical tone, not pouring any emotion into his own family history.

“Who is Aaron Turner?” she asked after a long, heavy pause.

James cringed internally at the mention of this name. God, he hated him so much.

“My mother's rapist,” he answered shortly.

“How do you know?”

“I was curious and once I worked for the D.A.’s office I gave a sample of my blood, rather illegally, and let them run it. I had told them it was a sample from a new case and even faked an entry into the system. They told me that they had a partial match and came up with someone called “Eric Turner” who had been arrested for drunk driving. His father, Aaron Turner, Detective Aaron Turner to be precise, bailed him out but his DNA was already fed into the system.”

“He's a Detective? A police officer?” Viola asked shocked.

James nodded and clenched and unclenched his fists as old anger started to burn up again.

“Yes, he is,” he replied through gritted teeth, “His colleagues sponsored the Hunt for him as a birthday present.”

“That's horrible.”

“It's disgusting to think that these people are the ones who should protect the weaker members of society.”

They stayed silent for a few moments until Viola spoke again, “Did you ever see him? See if you look a bit like -”

“My brothers? Because Aaron didn't just have a drunk driver son but he also had another son; little punk who runs around and spends his time shoplifting. Eric and David Turner. Pfft. And to answer your question... yes, I saw them once. I was in the precinct he worked in, on a case I was assigned, and I passed his desk on my way to the interview rooms. There were photos of them displayed like he was immensely proud of them. Even before I had the chance to introduce myself, Turner made a stupid jokes about the victim in my case because she had been drunk while being raped and I almost punched him.”

He had to take a deep breath before he continued, “You saw the photo of Jane. Blonde hair, blue eyes. I don't look anything like her, unfortunately, and that means that I look like her rapist. One of the reasons I despise looking at pictures at me, so I will not join in on selfies with you, should you ever feel like it.”

He had buried all those memories and feelings in that stupid little box in his office and now he wished he had just burned everything in it when he had turned 18. James turned to look back at the TV screen. He had watched these snippets of his childhood only once before ignoring its existence for the last 24 years... up until tonight.

He must be about 13 years old in this part of the video. His head had still been too big for his lanky body but he definitely didn't look like a child anymore. During that time he had started swimming more. It had helped him build up some muscles and also granted him more time alone when he had convinced the headmaster of the orphanage that he was trustworthy enough to make his way through half of Flint to go swim at the YMCA. He had loved being alone in the pool. He still did.

 

Viola was mostly certain that he wouldn't snap again if she moved closer to him. Carefully and still alerted, she crawled over the couch and sat down right next to him. James tore his eyes off the screen and found hers.

“I'm sorry, darling.”

“You really scared me,” she whispered lowly and reached for the remote control to turn off the TV and the video, “I thought you were going to hit me.”

James couldn't bear to look at her, feeling ashamed at his loss of control. He leaned forward and collected the bunch of photos spread out on the coffee table. Trying not to look at them, he stacked them up and put them back into the old, brown box they had lived in for the last couple of years. Maybe he should throw them away now to avoid firing up that burning anger ever again.

Just as he reached for the file to throw it into the box as well, Viola stopped him. She pulled out the portrait of James' mother. She wanted to honor her and not simply put her into that box again.

“What's her surname?”

“She didn't have one,” he answered without looking at her or the picture.

“I don't have one either and yet it's in your wedding ring.”

James packed the box and stayed silent.

“You didn't search for her name?” she tried again, hoping she didn't sound as nervous as she still was. The bond was drumming quickly, like the heartbeat of a chased rabbit, and it was keeping her on edge.

“O'Brien. Her grandmother's name was Veronica O'Brien and she was forced into the Hunt in 1936. Would you like to know how she threw herself in front of a bus after her first Hunt or how her daughter and my grandmother, Harriett, died during childbirth?” he snapped and stood up with the box in his hands.

The look he shot Viola made her want to cower in the corner again when she silently shook her head and watched him leave the living space. In the end, he brought it back into his office where it had stood untouched by him for years.

Viola stayed on the couch and waited in the dark room for what was expected from her now. It seemed wrong to simply ignore what horror and fear he had caused her today. He had apologized but it didn't seem sincere to her... or like he was actually calm again. For the first time she didn't want to be close to him. How long had the bliss lasted? Two weeks.


	11. A friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very sorry for the slight delay in my uploading schedule but finals week is breaking my neck. All work and no play...

****Viola spent the night after their fight in the guest room. She didn't want to be too close to him right now although her wish to be separate from him didn't last long. They shared the same bedroom the following night and they both avoided the topic of James' behavior entirely.

Viola made him dinner every day. Some nights he came home on time, but more often he missed dinner time and she was left alone at the table set for two, only to stare at his empty chair. She stopped getting angry because when he came home on the late nights he seemed so down that he didn't need to fight another battle against her feeling of rejection. Viola knew that he didn't do it on purpose but it still stung to think that he chose his work over her so many days and even nights sometimes.

Viola always woke up when James finally entered the bedroom, no matter how late it was, then had trouble falling back to sleep. After three consecutive nights of waking up well past midnight and then sleeping through James’ leaving the following morning, she decided to sleep in the guest room if he wasn't home by 10 pm.

It was a few days later that she remembered her first official infamous Omega Meeting was around the corner which only made her more irritated.

“Would you like to go and meet some of your old school mates?” James asked that evening when he actually made it home for dinner.

“I don't know.”

“Maybe you get to know another Omega you can hang out with. I've noticed that you seem a little lonely.”

“If you were home more often, I wouldn't be lonely,” she whispered and regretted it immediately when she felt the shift of his emotions in her guts. He wasn't angry, just annoyed.

“We've been over this. I have to work, darling.”

“Until 10 pm?” Viola snapped and put down her knife and fork before she stood and left for ''her'' room. Sleeping in there seemed the better option than to argue with him. Her new technique to avoid his anger was to avoid him in general. She wouldn't put effort into this if all of his effort went to the office rather than come home to be with his mate.

The more she used this avoidance technique, the more frustrated James became. It wasn't fun for him either when he had to work his way through thousands of papers, organizing cases, or reading law books to find just the one line that would help him convict the suspect accused.

When Viola retreated into her own space, James wouldn't disturb her because he could feel that she was angry and he really didn't need to tackle her feelings when he came home after fighting a Sisyphus task in his job. It wasn't like he didn't like his job, he just didn't like that she didn't seem to understand what it did to him to look into a crying woman's face and listen to the testimony of her rape every day and not think of his mother or the future Viola nearly had had. 

James felt drained when he came home and he just didn't have the energy to deal with Viola’s juvenile antics. He knew that he had made a terrible mistake when he had scared her but he wasn't normally aggressive and certainly not a bully so he didn't deserve this treatment from her. He spent each day trying to get the bad guys where they belonged; behind bars and off the streets to make sure they couldn't hurt anyone anymore.

James felt like he was losing a battle he simply couldn't allow himself to lose because she was the most important person to him. Viola was young and she had fire. He loved that about her and he knew he must come across as ignoring her but that simply wasn't the truth. James only lacked the right words to make is case clear... Something that would cost him success in court and much more with Viola if he didn't do something about it.

James knocked on the door of his guest room and, unlike the previous nights, he entered. Viola lay in bed with her face turned towards the door. She watched him coming closer and sit down on the edge of the bed.

“I am sorry I spend so little time with you. I wish it wasn't like this.”

“Easy to say,” she grumbled and sat up a bit to be able to look at him better. Unconsciously it was also because like this she would be able to get away from him quicker should he snap out of nowhere. She had lost a lot of trust into him that day in the kitchen.

“Viola,” he sighed, “Do you want me to stay home and not work?”

“Yes!”

“Then we'll be broke in a matter of weeks. While I earn a very good living I am by no means a multimillionaire and it will be many years before I can afford to retire. To enter the Hunt I had to pay an exorbitant entrance fee. But more importantly, I help people. I am doing something good everyday I go to work I'm helping victims get their justice.”

“You sound like you're superman,” she sneered and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Well, for some people I am and I had thought I was yours for a few short days too.”

“You were and then you showed me quite clearly that you didn't trust me. You accused me of flirting with some asshole and then you threatened me! James, I -”

“I never -”

“Of course you did! Get out!” Viola shouted and turned around, pulling the blanket up to her nose and waiting to hear the door close behind him. She only let out the breath she had unconsciously held when he was gone and she was alone again.

 

Viola had no desire to go to this stupid Omega Meeting and see all the same gossip girls she had already hated at Finewood. They all simply loved to ignore that they had been at the same risk as her when they had still been at school. But she hadn't talked to James since their last fight and she desperately needed to have some human contact again. She had used her generous free time to search for a fitting new dress for the event and had found a dark blue, shoulder free cocktail dress in the 50s style. It looked good, showed off her bite mark, but wasn't flashy and attention getting; sleek, understated elegance. Viola really just wanted to be around other people and especially Omegas again. It was just something animalistic that drew her to other Omegas; herd-like, safety in numbers maybe.

James had taken half the day off to accompany her and Viola almost shouted at him that he could get off of work when there was a social thing but not for her alone. It seemed like he didn't want to spend time with her if he was really honest.

But they were tied to each other by the bond, Viola thought and let her fingertips trace along the scarred tissue around her scent gland. They could never really separate unless some intelligent scientists came up with a way to cut the bond without killing one of the mates. Viola shook her head and forced herself to push those thoughts away. Every couple had a rocky period they had to go through and not everyone had a divorce. Maybe when he was done with whatever all-important case he was working on right now, he would have more time for her. Hopefully.

An hour after she had checked her appearance one final time in the mirror next to the apartment entrance, she was standing in the corner of the huge ball room filled with fancy dressed Omegas of all colors, ages, and... pregnancy states. Every woman in her early twenties was carrying a baby. It was almost comical to watch them stand together in little circles and watch their bellies touch when they laughed about something.

Viola was still a virgin, untouched and right now unspeakably happy that James hadn't taken advantage of her after claiming her. With their current fight, she couldn't imagine dealing with uncontrollable hormones as well. But not being pregnant or already a mother also meant that she wasn't able to participate in most of the conversations she picked up while passing some of the groups on her way to the bar and back into her corner.

After half an hour of sipping her orange juice, she started to notice some of the younger Omegas staring at her. At first she thought her mind was playing tricks, but when she heard words like “Hunt” and “suicide” she knew her story was the topic of the night. Viola was about to leave when someone whispered “Cora” and tears started to rise behind her eyes. As if being in the Hunt wasn't bad enough, reminding her that she had lost her best friend only added salt to the wound. She had come here to feel better, not to wish she had never been born.

Just as she was ready to run out of the ball room and drag James home with her, a woman with jet black, curly hair and cool, grey eyes walked up to her. She was smiling. Viola swallowed against the lump in her throat and tried to make a straight face. None of these vipers should see that she was at the brink of shattering.

“Your lower lip is quivering,” the strange woman said and shielded Viola from the eyes of the other Omegas around them, “Don't let them look behind your mask. It's just what they want to keep their gossip factory running.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Viola snapped. Why was this one person nice to her when all the others stared at her like she had escaped a fucking freak show? This didn't make any sense!

“My name is Reba Ness, by the way, and unlike most of the other women here, I do remember the cold sweat and racing heartbeat when I thought about ending up in the Hunt.”

Viola was flustered by this... kindness. Reba extended her hand for a friendly handshake but Viola didn't move.

“Are you sure you want to touch the outcast?”

“It might not look like it but I've been an outcast too and we Babies of the Hunt need to stick together against these hyenas and their blood thirst,” Reba offered with a trustworthy smile and still held out her hand. All Viola needed to do was take it.

Slowly, she reached for the offered hand and shook it lightly. They heard gasps and more whispers around them as they showed everyone around them that they were allies from now on... and Viola desperately hoped she wasn't a lamb that voluntarily walked to the slaughter.

“Do you live in Flint?” Reba asked and sipped her water. She didn't smell pregnant so Viola wondered why she also wasn't having some of the champagne.

“Yes, I do.”

“You're not pregnant,” she said, sounding matter-of-factly.

“You neither,” Viola replied, nodding to the glass of water in her hand.

Reba smiled and nodded. “Excuse me but it was impossible to overhear the slither of the snakes around here, but they say that you've been in the Hunt as prey. That's why I asked. You're claimed... and all these facts together are a mystery. One that promises to be one with something similar to a happy ending.”

Viola furrowed her brow. She wanted to know too much about her.

“Why are you talking to me?” she asked instead of answering.

Reba laughed shortly before replying, “Because I was an outsider too and I know what it's like to feel alone on this planet. Even with a mate by my side.”

There was something in her eyes, a short flicker of sadness that seemed like a shadow crossing her face for only a split second, before she smiled again and continued, “I lost a friend and one I thought was my friend for a long time. Viola, you won't find anyone in this ball room who will understand you better than I do. People like us need to search for happiness. We weren’t born with it like most of the others here.”

Viola nodded absentmindedly and shortly glanced at the crowd in the large room. The other Omegas were still staring at them from the corners of their eyes. The night was over and all she wanted was to go home again, but then again.. Viola had finally found someone who seemed like a friend. She didn't want to lose her so soon again.

Reba seemed to have read her thoughts because only a heartbeat had passed before she looked down to her delicate silver watch and sighed.

“It's getting late and I miss my children. Maybe we could exchange numbers. I'd love to get to know you a bit better when there aren't hundreds of eyes resting on us like we -”

“Just recently escaped from a freak show?” Viola finished her sentence and actually managed something similar to a smile, her first in more than a week.

“Exactly,” Reba nodded and they both exited the ballroom. In the hallway separating the large room for the Omegas and the slightly smaller “smoking salon” for the Alphas, they asked one of the Beta waiters to call their mates out because they wished to head home again.

Viola found it almost funny how opposite James and Reba's Alpha looked from each other. The man who was introduced to her as Kristján Ness was tall, had dark blond hair and wore a thick, well groomed beard. And then there was the James who was below average height for an Alpha, with his black hair and his clean shaven face.

Viola told him that she had a headache and wanted to leave. Telling James that the Omegas were gossiping about her like they had at the fundraiser, would lead to nothing but more anger on his side. She introduced Reba and thanked him for convincing her to come here tonight because she had found someone to talk to while everyone else only talked _about_ her.

Reba hugged Viola when they said goodbye and the younger woman almost didn't want to let go of her again. She so desperately needed a friend in this world.

 


	12. Surreal

Three days after the Omega Meeting and at least one message exchange a day with Reba, Viola was more relaxed but still sad and angry that James had so much work to do. And the worst was that when she asked, he wouldn't answer anyway, “Why don't you ever talk about work?”

“Because you don’t need to know what monsters walk the streets of Flint. I see them everyday and I try to lock them away for what they did. Why would I want to talk about the daily horror I see when I’m finally home and can put it behind me for a couple of hours?”

She hated his patronizing tone and the fact that he seriously thought she didn’t know what people lived here. She had seen them. They had tried to rape her.

“I’ll be 19 on Friday,” she told him over his morning coffee on Monday.

“Would you like to do something special?”

Viola chewed the inside of her cheek and hoped, so hoped, he would say yes to her suggestion.

“I would like to visit the museum with you. There's an exhibit on European surrealists at the moment. Reba told me about it yesterday.”

“I'll see if I can take the day off,” James replied as he glanced at his watch and muttered, “I'll be late for court again, damn.”

Viola bit on her tongue to keep from snorting out a snarky comment that he shouldn't even bother taking time off for his MATE!!! She stayed quiet because she didn't want to pick another fight with him. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek before he left and Viola was once again alone.

She hadn't told Reba about her ongoing fights with James. It was nobody's business what was going on between her and her mate, even though she hoped that Reba might have advice for her. No, she would do this alone. She wasn't a child that needed an adult for guidance. Viola could make it work... if he wanted it too.

 

On Friday she woke like every morning at the same time as him. But James' side of the bed was empty. She glided her hand over the covers and frowned. They were cold. When did he get up if the bed was already cold?

Well, happy fucking birthday, Viola thought and turned onto her back to stare up to the ceiling. She was 19 years today and she already felt old and drained. The last week James hadn't said one wrong or loud word. He was gentle again like he had been in the beginning but he still worked long hours and now she didn't dare step into his office to find out what he was working on. Viola wanted to be the one he confided in but he thought she was too tender to take it. She wasn't!

Just as Viola was starting to get angry about the way he patronized her while she should've been his partner, she heard a knock on the door and sat up in bed. James entered with a small tray with breakfast on it and set it down on the nightstand on his side.

“Happy birthday, darling. Please forgive me if I don't start singing.”

Viola looked down to the tray with breakfast for two and smiled a little.

“Thank you. Do you wanna eat with me?”

It was obvious by the second mug of coffee on the tray but she wanted to hear him say it. James pulled the corner of his mouth up into a half-smile and nodded. He moved to sit directly next to her and lay the tray onto his lap to serve as a table for them. They ate in comfortable silence and Viola noticed that he definitely took his time. All the signs were there that he wasn't going to go to work today and she dared to hope.

When they were done, she snuggled into his side and sighed with closed eyes. James snaked his arm around her and buried his nose in her hair. He had almost forgotten how much he loved her scent when she was content and that didn't just come form the bond between them. 

The jury had reached their verdict on his current case yesterday afternoon. He hoped that he wouldn't have to tackle one this difficult again any time soon.

The victims had been severely disabled children who had been abused by their therapist. This asshole had actually pulled the “they wanted it” card. James had tried to talk to the children and he had hardly gotten a single word out of them. Usually he was pretty good with children, which, when he gave it some thought, made his job that much worse.

Viola soon stirred by his side and smiled at him.

“Shall we go? I can't wait to see the paintings. René Magritte, Salvador Dalí, and the modern European surrealists.”

She sounded happy. James wiped a strand of hair out of her face and kissed her tenderly.

“Let's go.”

She hopped out of the bed and vanished into the closet to get dressed. James listened to her rustling behind the door. He hoped nobody would call him in today because he really didn't want to disappoint her on her birthday. James wanted her to be happy... and not just so the nagging thudding in his chest would stop again. She deserved happiness.

An hour later, Viola pulled James from one painting to the next and made some excited noises right before she told him some trivia about the pieces or the artists. James honestly couldn't care less about art but he loved seeing her so excited. Viola even allowed him to lay his arm around her waist like the last weeks hadn't even happened. James was sure that she wouldn't forget today's joy. Maybe he could make up for some of the bad decisions he had made when he’d picked other things over her.

James' mobile rang and they exchanged a long look; the happiness was over. Viola let go of him and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Go on, take the call. The people of Flint need their hero,” she said in a low voice and moved over to another painting far enough away from him to not hear his voice when he answered the call.

“What?” he hissed, “It's my day off. Leave me alone. I am not the only ADA in this city.”

“Well, sorry, Counselor,” his closest colleague, Lt. Beverly Hanson, sneered and continued, “but crime doesn't listen to days off. I was about to visit my mother today and I'm at work too.”

“Listen, keep it on hold until tomorrow or call someone else. I simply can't come to the precinct today.”

James looked over to Viola who tried to get sucked back into the world or art and surrealism again. He could see that she was close to exploding. His chest felt like it was stuck in a cold metal vice.

“I don't think any of the other ADAs would tackle the case like you will and we can't hold the suspect much longer.”

James sighed deeply and ran his free hand over his face, “What's that supposed to mean? What's the case about?”

“The son of a former Detective was accused of raping his PO,” Lt. Hanson reported.

“And that's my specialty because...?”

“Because you are the only ADA who isn't afraid of pissing off the police.”

He groaned. “Listen, Lt. Hanson, I simply can't leave-”

“Counselor, we can't let him walk out of here. His father already puffed himself up that no “Turner” would have to rape anyone.”

James almost dropped his phone when he heard the name. Turner? A cold shower ran down his back and settled like an ice-cold block in his guts.

“What's the perp's name again?” he asked and tried to sound as nonchalantly as possible.

“Eric Turner.”

Without thinking about it, James accepted the case and told Lt. Hanson that he would be with her in an hour. Viola had listened to his phone call with half and ear and bit her teeth tightly together when she felt him close behind her. With a sigh he started telling her that he had to work.

“Of course, James,” she snapped and left the museum without waiting for him. Viola couldn't believe he was actually dumping her on her birthday for some shitty case. James drove her home but didn't even accompany her up into the apartment. He simply stopped the car in front of their building and apologized again but Viola had already slammed the car door shut behind her.

Happy fucking birthday, she thought angrily and hurried across the entrance hall to the elevators. Another Alpha, one of the many invisible neighbors in the building, was also waiting in front of the matte metal doors and glanced at the fuming Omega next to him.

Viola kept blinking against the angry tears that filled her eyes and clenching her teeth remembering each and every time James had let her down. She stamped her foot remembering how many times she ate dinner alone, longing for him to want to be home with her. But he always picked work over her.

"Excuse me for saying but you don't look well.  Are you alright?” he asked after he heard  as he stepped closer to her .

“Yes,”  Viola snapped, "I'm not unwell I'm angry!" She remembered how sweet he had been that first week and felt like crying missing that James and almost hating the James that had such little care for her!

“Don't get me wrong but you don't seem like it.”

The doors in front of them opened and Viola hurried into the elevator. She glared at the other Alpha who only arched his eyebrow before joining her on her way up to her floor. Viola could feel his eyes on her the whole time.

“What?” she snapped eventually.

“You seem distressed, that's all.”

“I'm not distressed, I'm mad. Today is my birthday and my mate is working!” Viola Hissed and shook her head, not believing James had actually left her alone today.

“Happy birthday.”

She huffed a bitter laugh and shook her head. She was tired and angry... and tired of being angry at James. He had disappointed her so many times already and he had promised to spend time with her today. Today was just another day he had failed her.

When the elevator stopped on the 33 rd floor and the doors opened, the Alpha didn't move.

“Isn't this your floor?” she asked and drew her eyebrows together.

“Yes, it is... and I know it must seem brazen but would you like a cup of coffee to calm a bit?” knew it wasn't right to go with him but she was angry enough to be stupid right now. Without saying a word she left the elevator and waited for the stranger to lead her to his apartment.

 

While Viola willingly stepped into the beast's cave, James was rushing to the precinct. He repeated what Lt. Hanson had told him. The son of a former Detective. Turner. It couldn't be one of his half brothers, couldn't it?

He was drumming his fingers onto the steering wheel while he tried to gather the courage to get out of his car and face the answer to his question. And what if it was his half brother? Should he withdraw on the grounds of bias? He couldn't prosecute a case against his own family... But nobody but him knew they were related and he definitely wasn't family. Just the other son of the man who also happened to be his sire.

James took a deep breath and exited his car eventually. Every step that brought him closer to the interview room felt like a million needles being shot into his spine. Lt. Hanson came over to him, gave him a quick report on the case and what had happened. She asked where he had been when she had called but he only shook his head and demanded to see the perpetrator.

The police woman wasn't put off by his straightforward behavior as she was already used to it after working with him for several years now. She lead him into the interview room and James almost collapsed. It was him. His stupid, younger half brother who had been in and out of jail for decades. Eric fucking Turner and, by his side, his stoic father, sitting across from James and sending him death glares as if to intimidate him. It didn’t work. He had faced worse monsters in this room or in court. James couldn’t believe how much he hated these people he hardly knew. 

“So, you finally decided to join us too, Counselor. What an honor,” Turner senior huffed and crossed his arms over his broad chest. Even at 70-something he could still look intimidating if he wanted to. A quality Alphas never lost.

James swallowed down his initial shock and old anger and waited for Turner to recognize him as his son. It was a stupid thought and probably only a sign that his walk down memory lane with Viola had opened up old wounds that were still bleeding under the skin. Turner hadn't recognized him years ago, why should he suddenly do so now?

“Are you going to say something or just stare?” Eric sneered and glared at James just like his father.

“I understand you raped your PO?” James finally said and sat down on the chair across from the other Alphas. He tossed the case file onto the cold metal table and turned towards Turner senior with a simple, “Get out.”

 

Viola was too angry to feel James' emotional turmoil going from fear to anger and then pure hatred within a matter of minutes. Instead she sat on the strange Alpha's couch in his unfamiliar living room, waiting for him to return with the coffee he had offered her.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, something felt off about being in the apartment of a strange Alpha, who had introduced himself as Steven, but she was too angry and upset to examine that feeling. She didn’t want to be alone on her birthday and he was being nice to her. Something James was lacking. Viola thanked Steven for the cup of coffee when he sat down next to her and draped his arm around her over the back rest of his couch.

“So, tell me about him and why he would ever let a beauty like you out of his sight,” Steven said and sipped his coffee. Viola looked at him attentively and shrugged eventually. She didn't want to talk about James because it only reminded her how stupidly happy she had been in the beginning and how vastly everything had changed.

“If I was lucky enough to have an Omega by my side, I would do anything to keep her happy and content.”

Viola huffed shortly. He sounded a bit like James had when everything had been new and exciting. Maybe routine had killed their relationship, maybe she should've offered herself to him by now and he was simply growing impatient because he was waiting for her to be ready.

She suddenly sat up straight, her back as stiff as a board. Was it all her fault? Viola started chewing the inside of her cheek when she tried to remember if James had ever tried anything in that direction and she had stopped him or left him high and dry.

Viola was so deep in thought that she didn't hear Steven talking. She only woke from her trance when his fingers behind her back started to play with the little hairs at her neck.

 

James stood outside of the interview room, watching the Turners leave. Aaron had pulled some old, dirty strings to get his son home. At least until the lab reports returned and confirmed that it was his DNA they had found on his victim. James was vibrating anger. Eric and his father had been disgusting. They had actually declared that if they should find his DNA on her it was because she had ordered him to sleep with her and she as his PO had such power over him that he simply couldn't have said no.

James had almost slammed his head onto the desk just to shut him up. It would've probably cost him his job so he had simply clenched his jaws until he hurt. When Lt. Hanson turned to him and wanted to ask if he had a plan, James left. Not a word, not even a look, was exchanged with anyone on his way out. He needed fresh air and to get back home. Viola would probably skin him alive once he stepped through the apartment door.

But he definitely needed to get home otherwise he would track the Turners down and risk his career and freedom. He drove home, making sure not to be too fast or to run a red light because he was certain that if a cruiser stopped him, he would lose it and spend the night in jail. He couldn't count on Viola to bail him out after leaving her alone on her fucking birthday. Jesus, he was so fucked.

 

The next thing Viola knew was that Steven had his hand around her waist and his lips pressed against hers. He tasted wrong and of bitter coffee. She almost threw up.

“God, you feel incredible,” he purred against her lips and, finally, Viola moved. She pushed him off her and stood up. Before he could reach for her hand to pull her back on the couch, she slapped him hard across the face.

“I have a mate, you swine!”

She turned on her heel and hurried out of the strange apartment. Viola didn't bother waiting for the elevator. She used the staircase for the four levels to her own floor and safe apartment. Only there she realized what she had done. She had been alone in another Alpha's apartment, knowing what effect she had on him even with a mate and a visible claiming mark. It hadn't just been risky but simply foolish. What if he had locked her in or drugged her so he could easily rape her?

Viola's heart pounded in her chest like a steam hammer. Her breath was quick and shaky. What if James could smell him on her?

Right this second, James entered the apartment and had prepared a whole speech about how sorry he was for being such an idiot and why he had to leave, that he regretted it and wanted to propose dinner at a fancy restaurant to make it up to her. But when he smelled the scent of another Alpha, a scent he faintly recognized, all his plans and intentions flew out of the window.

“Is there someone else here?” he asked sharply when he found Viola standing in the kitchen, washing her hands almost frantically.

Viola stopped immediately and stared at him wide-eyed. She couldn't have looked any guiltier in his eyes. He was already close to snapping and then he smelled another Alpha's scent on his mate. James stalked towards her and grabbed her by the wrist in a painful grasp. Her piercing cry echoed from the high ceiling and the empty walls.

“Is this your kind of punishment? Flinging yourself to the next Alpha because you’re angry at me?!”

Viola desperately tried to twist her hand out or his grasp but all of her efforts were in vain. Adrenaline flooded her veins as she panicked.

“Where is he? Did you bring him here to fuck? To rub it under my nose?”

She shook her head almost violently.

“Why are you here? Was he done with you so quickly? Did you do him good in a dirty street corner or in the fucking elevator?”

Viola couldn't answer him. Her wrist pounded as his voice became louder and his hold grew tighter around her. The air smelled disgustingly chemical again as her panic seeped out of Viola's pores. This time James let go of her almost immediately. He took a few steps back and ran a hand along his neck.

“Where the fuck is he?”

Viola shook her head again and whimpered pleadingly. All she wanted was to calm him, make this terrible stench in the air go away, and bring him back to his senses. She knew he wasn't like this usually. Viola knew he was a calm and tender Alpha. Only when he thought she wronged him, he snapped and lost it.

But she hadn't done anything. She had stopped when she had woken from her trance.

“WHERE IS HE?!” James shouted, completely out of his mind and was only drowned out by her shrieking scream.

“Not here! I swear! Nothing happened!” Viola screw her eyes shut when she heard his rapid steps coming closer.

“You reek of him, Viola! Do you think I'm stupid?!”

He grabbed her by the upper arms and forced her to look at him. “I saved you from them and this is how you thank me? How you show me respect and loyalty?”

James was only a heartbeat away from calling her a whore but her fearful eyes and terrified little whimper called him back. He let go of her and brought some distance between them. What the hell was he doing here?

Viola saw this as her chance to get away and ran past him towards the en suit of the guest room. She locked herself in, cowered in the corner and pulled her knees tightly to her chest. She wanted to turn back time and change her life. She would be a good Omega and do what Mrs. Gold told her to do. No hunt, no James, no bruises on her arms and wrist.

James stood in front of the bathroom door and heard her choked out sobs through the thin wood between them. He closed his eyes and cursed himself for exploding again. This should've been a happy day, a chance to make up for past mistakes but he had only made it worse.

“I'm sorry, Viola,” he said in a quiet voice. James was sure she hadn't heard him but he needed to say it. And he knew what else he needed to do.

There was a way of keeping him from exploding. It wasn't legal but better than hurting and scaring her. He had brought her into his house and family by claiming her. James left the guest room after he wrote her a note that he was sorry and that he would make sure nothing like that would ever happen again.

For anyone else it might have read like a suicide note or the announcement of a murder when in reality he was only going to medicate himself. Not with alcohol like many depressive Betas did. No, he needed something else and he knew exactly where to find it.

Half an hour after leaving the apartment, he found himself in the dirty little back alley next to one of the scene clubs of Flint, the Sex'n'Pistols, the first address for everyone who wanted to get high and listen to loud, angry music. James knew that the dealer for everything a troubled soul could wish for waited for their customers here in that alley. He had won enough cases against them when he had started out as a prosecutor.

James definitely didn't belong here with his fancy hair cut and sharply tailored grey coat. The people who were resting on bags of trash or each other stared up at him only for a moment before they turned their cloudy attention back to the needles in their veins. 

In the far back of the alley they stood and talked. The puppeteers of this human misery, spinning new strings to bind even more wasted lives to them.

“I need something to cool down,” James announced before any of the dealers had even noticed him.

“I think you've come to the wrong place, yuppie. This is where the rats come to celebrate,” one spit out and goggled James' silver watch.

“Do you really want to send away a paying customer?”

None of them said a word, only ignored him. James knew about three hundred other places in town where he could get what he wanted and so he turned around, only to face a young woman with dramatic winged eyeliner and a smirk on her dark glossed lips.

“What exactly do you need, papi?”

“Something that cuts off emotions but lets me keep on working. I need to block out feelings in my job or I'll get mad.”

“Mh, you're not a doctor. You could've simply swiped the stuff from the hospital yourself. What are you working as?”

She traced her finger up and down his chest and lay her head to the side with a look like she was about to bite him.

“Is that important?” James snapped and slapped her hand away.

“Ouch, don't hit the hand that's gonna give you what you want. How much does your heart desire?”

“So, you have what I need?”

She nodded and waited for an answer.

“What can you give me for five hundred?”

The dealer stared at him before she started laughing and cursed, “Fuck, papi, you're not playing around, huh? I don't have this much on me right now. I can give you tonight’s entire stock for 150. That will be about 30 pills. That's enough for the start?”

“I'll take them and I'll get the same tomorrow. I want to stock up. Better get me more the next time I'm here.”

“Why? Don't you like the atmosphere?” she huffed and kicked against a poor fellow’s leg that lay just as lifeless as the rest of him. If his chest hadn't still been moving James would've been convinced that she had just kicked a corpse.

“No. How much can you get me by tomorrow?”

“As many as you can carry, papi. But that will cost you more than 500.”

She pulled out a heavy bag with small white pills. They looked like medicine, not drugs. Good. No stupid smiley faces or some other suspicious stamp on it so he would even be able to mask them as something against his constant headaches at the office. Perfect.

“I don't care about the money. I need all you can get. And the same next week. Same place, same time, get it?” James ordered while pulling out his wallet. He had left his credit cards and everything that carried his name on in his car to make sure nobody here would know who he was.

He paid the dealer who gave him her pager number should he ever need something immediately and not have the time to come down here.

“We wouldn't want our golden boy to lose some of his shine in our cozy little gutter,” she murmured with a smirk and handed him the pills. James left without another word. He drove home and -again- braced himself that Viola probably had left him. But -again- she hadn't. Instead she had moved all of her clothes from their shared closet into the build-in one in the guestroom and had left him a note on her now empty bed side.

_ You promised, you would never hurt me but you did. I have bruises on my skin. I can't trust you anymore. _

James felt shame creep up his neck and his guts twisted into a tight ball.  He didn't want to hurt her anymore. She deserved better so he took the pills that would make him numb.


	13. Emergency

James started with the pills right away and the effects were apparent. He felt like he was surrounded by a thick layer of pillows, separating himself from anything that could've made him angry or irritated again. It also helped with the feelings of guilt and shame that usually should’ve crept up on him whenever he saw Viola hurry into the kitchen to get water or something to eat only to disappear in the guest room a second later.

She wouldn't speak to him and he couldn't blame her when he caught a glimpse of her bruised wrist. His coffee was ready and waiting for him in the morning but it seemed more like she was trying to keep him content by giving him food and drink. He still worked long hours and came home late at night. Sometimes he reheated dinner, but most of the time he wasn't hungry and only wanted to collapse in his bed.

A few days after he started with the pills, James had noticed that Viola was more relaxed. Maybe it was because the less he felt, the less his feelings could influence hers. Or maybe it was because she spoke with Reba on the phone more and more often when he came home at a reasonable time. He wondered absentmindedly if Viola was telling her about what had happened between them.

Things had calmed down slightly, even though she was still discontent that he precluded her when it came to work. James hadn't told her about the case against his half brother. He simply didn't want to tell her about the details he had to shrug off before coming home or he would probably let the few remainders of his emotions run loose with her around. There were days, even with the pills, when he wanted to sit in the corner and cry, other times he felt like downing a bottle of cheap whiskey and punching a hole in the wall. Neither of which he wanted Viola to witness. Instead he took a new pill and kept functioning in his role as Alpha and ADA.

His co-workers never looked behind his carefully constructed mask that shielded his inner self from their piercing eyes and judging minds. He was always sharp, dressed to the nines, and prepared for every pivot or flip flop the defense attorney had up his sleeve. His colleagues sometimes called him cold, but James rather saw himself as efficient and that's all that mattered.

 

But his cold act got a deep crack only one week into his self medication. James stood up to object in court but the words got caught in his throat as a sharp pain in the middle of his chest knocked the air out of his lungs. He gasped for breath and needed to steady himself with a hand on the dark brown desk in front of him.

“Ob- Objection, yo-your Honor,” he stuttered and struggled to breathe. He felt like someone had punched him right in the chest. No, not _someone_ , it felt like Mohamed Ali had punched him. Was still punching him, was more accurate. The judge furrowed his thick gray eyebrows and leaned a bit forward on his high desk.

“Are you alright, Mr. Scaife?” he asked concerned. James shook his head, still hurting and trying to fill his lungs with air. A horrible thought crept into his mind. Was something wrong with Viola?

“Do you have a mate?” the defense attorney asked from the side, almost sounding concerned.

James nodded with a strained face. The judge brought down the gravel and told them he would pause the trial until the prosecution could perform again. James gathered all of his things and hurried out of the courtroom. He dug into his pocket and pulled out his phone, wanting to call Viola. He tried it at home but nobody answered. The pressure in his chest increased when he tried reaching her mobile. Panic flooded his veins with every lonely, unanswered dial tone. Why wasn't she answering? He was almost giving up when he call was finally taken.

“Hello?” a male voice answered and made James' heart stop for a second.

“Where is my mate?” he asked horrified.

“On her way to St. Mary Magdalena Hospital.”

Everything the -presumably- EMT told him after was was nothing but a blur. James lowered his phone and ran for the staircase. He took three steps as a time as he hurried downstairs. Viola wasn't dead. He had heard about how it was supposed to feel when one lost their mate. It was said to appear like the ever-present vice finally crushed their insides and left nothing but cold emptiness. He was still hurting. That meant she was still alive. At least for now.

James broke almost every traffic rule on his way to the hospital. He wasn't religious, not in the slightest, but he prayed the entire time to every god or saint he could think of. He just couldn't lose her!

James parked his car more or less in the way right in front of the ER and immediately ran to the front desk. He was sweating, out of breath and muttered Viola's name to the black nurse in front of him. She only glanced at him over the brink of her glasses and arched her eyebrows. “And you are?”

“James Frederick Scaife, her mate.”

“Have you been called that she's here”

He let out an irritated growl. Why couldn't he just go to her? “No, I called her half an hour ago and an EMT answered her phone, telling me they were on their way here.”

The nurse nodded slowly. “Would you please wait here, Mr. Scaife, while I go and see if she's here.”

James stared at her as if she was talking Polish. No, he would not wait! Without as much as a word he turned on his heel and hurried down the ER, calling Viola's name and peeking behind the half curtains. The slight tremor in his voice was giving away the terror and fear pumping through his veins. Maybe she wasn't able to answer him in her current state. He still kept on calling her name in the hopes of an answer and ignored the frantic shouts of the nurse following him. His heart was racing, his blood rushed in his ears, and his fear increased with every second he didn't find his Viola.

“You can not go in here, Sir!” the nurse shouted behind him.

“I will not go before I find my mate. Viola!”

He walked through the mess of hurting, injured, conscious and unconscious people, and concentrated staff members buzzing around white spread stretchers, stitching little cuts or reanimating half dead patients.

“Viola!” He couldn't keep the terrible fear pounding in his chest out of his usually so composed voice anymore. The nurse behind him let out a frustrated groan and threw her hands in the air. She turned on her squeaky sneakers to call the security.

James was just about to let out an angry scream when he noticed the squeezing of the vice in his chest had slowly decreased. It was still there and hurting like hell but it seemed like he was getting closer to his goal.

“Viola!” he called once more with new hope quickening his steps.

“James!”

He stopped immediately and wasn't sure if he had actually heard her voice or just imagined it out of desperation. But then her scent filled his lungs and he knew he was almost with her. Two more steps and his worried eyes finally found her. James didn't see the bloody temple, split lip, bandages and cast around her wrist and ankle. He stormed over to her and pulled her into his arms tightly. James buried his face in the crook of her neck and sucked in her familiar scent.

She was still alive, sobbing against his chest dampening his shirt with tears but _alive_. Viola still smelled like she was afraid, a sharp tinge in her sweet scent. He would do anything to get rid of it, to make her feel happy again.

Viola had her arms wrapped around him under his coat. She couldn't talk, only cry. His chest underneath her cheek vibrated lowly when she started purring for her. Viola had never seen him so scared or worried before. He really cared for her, it shot through her pounding head and she let out a deep sigh.

James stroked his hands up and down her back to soothe her as best as he could. He kissed the crown of her head and closed his eyes relieved.

“What happened, Viola?” he purred deeply. She sniveled and pulled her hands back but James didn't let go of her. She closed her eyes and pressed her cheek back against his chest. His thundering heartbeat was only separated from her with thin layers of flesh and bones.

“We ran out of food. I was on my way to the grocery store,” she began with a low, quivering voice. James listened carefully and continued to comfort his faltering mate. “There were two men, Alphas I think, they pushed me into a narrow alleyway and cornered me.”

Her breath hitched when the memories of the tall, broad-shouldered figures cutting off every way of escape flooded back into her mind. Her hands clutched onto his shirt under his coat. Even after everything he had done, his body heat and scent were giving her enough strength and sense of security to continue with her report.

“They... they touched me everywhere.”

James' arms tightened possessively around her trembling body.

“I wanted to scream but they put a hand over my mouth. They tried to-”

He hummed soothingly when tears choked her painfully. James knew what she was about to tell him. His worst nightmares had come true. Somebody had dared to touch what meant most to him. He would make them pay!

Cold anger started rising in his guts, burning his way up into his chest, when he pictured ripping out their insides for laying a hand on her.

“I kicked one and managed to run before they could do anything more than groping. I ran back to the street and thought there would be a police officer down at the subway station nearby. I tripped on the stairs and fell. I was so scared they would come after me again.”

Her fear had been the insane pressure that had knocked the air out of his lungs in the courtroom only an hour ago.

“Do you think you would recognize them again?” he asked and saw the nurse from before come closer followed by two bulky security guards with grim expressions on their faces. Before they reached them, however, a young, stressed doctor came over to them.

“Hello, my name is Dr. Suko. I assume you are Mr. Scaife?” he introduced himself and looked down to Viola hiding herself partially in the coat of her mate.

“I'm sorry, Dr. Suko. He wouldn't listen when I told him to wait at the desk.” The nurse glared at James and crossed her arms over her chest. The doctor glanced at the two security guards towering over her and shook his head.

“I'm sure there's no need for them to pump their fists at a concerned mate. We won't be needing them, thank you.”

James nodded gratefully and kissed Viola's forehead as he slowly let go of her. She complied only reluctantly but held onto his hand to keep the physical contact. Only then he really saw the damage that had been done to her. He looked down to the bruised temple and cut in her lip. With a strained face and tender touch James traced the outlines of the violet discoloration on the left side of her beautiful face.

“Can I take her home with me or do you want to keep her here over night?” he asked Dr. Suko without taking his eyes off her. He could see in her eyes that she wanted nothing more than to go home and snuggle into his side under a bunch of fluffy blankets.

“No, she can go home. The injuries you see, although looking severe, are merely on the surface. She can go home. I feel she'll recover better in a familiar and safe environment.”

Viola pressed her face against James' chest again, closed her eyes and took deep, calming breaths.

“We called the police as it is custom when we get an Omega in,” Dr. Suko continued and jotted down some notes on Viola's patient file and left them to wait for the police to arrive.

“How did you know where I was? I didn't have a chance to tell them to call you.”

James sat down on the stretcher next to her and pulled her into his arms once again. He didn't want to let go of her with the fear that was still sitting in her limbs and caused her to shake like a leaf during a storm.

“I felt something was wrong and tried reaching you. An EMT answered your mobile and told me where they were taking you.”

“You _felt_ that something was wrong?”

James guided her hand to rest over the middle of his chest and she understood. His heart had finally calmed down a bit again.

“You were scared when you came here, right?” she whispered, stroking her fingers over his chest, following the button border of his shirt. James only hummed affirmatively and kissed the crown of her head. She huffed a short laugh. “And there I thought you didn't care.”

“What?”

“You always seem so serious and detached somehow since...” She cut herself off, remembering that she had been scared of him too only a bit over a week ago. “I almost thought that you had already grown tired of me and the whole concept of having a mate.”

James looked at her wide-eyed and waited for her mouth to curl into a smile but she remained dead serious.

“Of course I care,” he said lowly, looking right into her eyes to make sure he left no room for interpretation. He wanted her to understand that she wasn't a fly in his chardonnay. He'd liked coming home to her in the evening and he'd loved waking up in the morning with her body pressed against his, or her breath tickling his chest hair when her head rested on his shoulder at night. In fact he missed her most at night when he came home from work and she was in the guest room where he wouldn't disturb her. He'd loved having someone to come home to. He loved h... that he had her and never wanted to miss her in his life ever again. James simply couldn't put all that into words when he was with her. His terrible behavior had pushed her away from him and he was the only one to blame. He and his work had caused her to suffer but he tried protecting her... at least from himself. He wanted to return to how they had been right at the beginning: talking, spending time with each other, cuddling on the couch.

Viola managed a small smile after his declaration and snuggled into his chest. She could've fallen asleep like this, feeling safe and protected with his arms wrapped around her tightly. It had been so long since he had touched her so tenderly. Just as James started purring lowly again, they got company. A tall brunette with a badge on her belt walked over to the stretcher and nodded James hello.

Viola eyed her suspiciously and pressed her body closer to his. They seemed to know each other. She didn't listen to what they said. It wasn't a long conversation anyway before the brunette smiled at her and left them alone again.

“Can we go home now?” she mumbled with heavy eyelids.

“Of course, darling.”

He kissed her forehead once more before getting up, taking off his coat and wrapping it around her shoulders while he went off to sign her discharge papers at the front desk. Viola slowly put his coat on and snuggled into the soft camel wool. Her whole body ached, she was tired and all she wanted was to go home and forget the thudding in her head and the pounding pain in her ankle. It was twisted, the doctor had told her a few minutes before James had arrived and had made everything better again. And saying that he cared felt like balm on her hurting soul.

He held her hand the entire way home. She was so grateful for that. Viola sank deeper into the car seat and his coat, interlacing her fingers with his. As an answer to the sweet little sigh she let out, he tenderly stroked his thumb over the back of her hand.

He carried her to bed when they were finally home. Viola sighed against his neck and savored the feeling of closeness in his arms. Although he didn't have the typical Alpha physique, he was surprisingly strong. James carried her without problems. She loved it.

He didn't talk. James had nothing to say to her. At least nothing right now. The only thing she needed right now was calmness, comfort, and maybe something for the pain when the meds she had been given at the hospital eventually wore off. He didn't want to leave her but he had to in order to get more blankets and pillows, and the bottle of heavy pain meds he had been given after a fight with an idiot who hadn't liked the outcome of a trial of his. Ironically, James had hated the numbness the pills created in his brain.

But as soon as he moved to leave her in the bedroom, she grasped his sleeve and refused to let go of him again. The pleading look in her eyes and the slight whimpering noises she made, made her seem so tiny and helpless.

“I'll be right back, darling”, he whispered and cradled her puffy, bruised face with his warm, smooth hands. The worry lines on her face softened when the sincerity of his voice sank in. She cast her eyes down, feeling drowsy when the agents she had taken in hospital finally kicked in. Her fingers loosened around his sleeve and she reached her hand out to touch the middle of his chest. She always found the exact spot where the bond was pounding, throbbing, thudding, pulling, tugging, burning hot and cold, or humming.

Right now it was spreading warmth, feeling her trust in him running through his veins even after everything that had happened between them. Viola sighed almost inaudible and lay down with closed eyes. James watched her for a few moments. The complete trust she put into him after literally going through hell was above him. He should've never let her leave the apartment without protection. He had failed as her protector today. The feeling bore itself into his guts like an ice-cold dagger. He swallowed against the rising nausea and wanted to go and get the stuff when he heard her voice again.

“It wasn't your fault,” she mumbled into the pillow, looking up at him with heavy eyelids.

“Yes, it was.” James pressed his lips so tightly together that his mouth became nothing but a thin line. He eventually turned and retrieved additional bedding and the orange pills box with the 13 painkillers he hadn't touched after taking merely two of them. It had been enough to know that he hated them.

When he returned Viola was sitting upright in bed and tried peeling of his coat without twisting her wrist too painfully in the process. James helped her without saying a word. She let him undress her to the white cotton panties and blue lace bra.

Never matching but always beautiful, James

James thought right before his mind decided to torture him with the image of those strangers' hands on her, sliding underneath her panties' waistband or inside the bra cups. With expert hands he opened the clasps of her bra and hooked his thumbs under the elastic to slide her panties down her legs. He made sure not to touch the cask around her ankle and didn't even waste a single thought what a young and perfect body lay before him.

He tore off his own clothes as if in deep trance, not letting the mental horror show of strange hands cupping her sex or squeezing her breasts subside. James would've never considered her less beautiful or saw her as anything but pristine... but the mere knowledge that somebody else had touched her the way he didn't even allow himself to, didn't bring out the best in him.

Naked as on the day he was born, he crawled over her, pressed his body atop of hers and brought his hands up to cup her delicate jaw. James pressed his fingertips into her soft cheeks and watched her eyelids flutter open again.

“You're mine,” he growled, his voice rumbling through his chest that made full contact with hers now. Viola looked up at him, her eyes getting wider. She had never seen or heard him sound so possessively, not even when he had claimed her. Viola circled her arms around his neck and nodded slightly. His grip around her chin loosened and turned tender. James' eyes turned more gentle. “Say it.”

“I'm yours,” she complied and nuzzled his neck. Her legs wrapped around his hips, bringing him even closer -dangerously close- to her pussy. He couldn't give into this embrace. Her breath dampened his neck as her arms tightened even more around him. James tried to remember when he had last felt this close to someone in his life. No, he had never had the feeling of really belonging to somebody or like somebody belonged to him. James couldn't bring his head to shut up when he suddenly asked himself if he could've had this feeling a long time ago already. Just by bonding with a Beta? Or was it the special relationship between Alpha and Omega that created this... unsettling closeness?

“I can't breathe anymore,” he heard her whisper right below his ear and only then realized that he was still resting his entire weight on her. James kissed her earlobe and snaked his hands around her before turning them both to lay on their sides. Her head came to rest on his upper arm with the bruised side facing up. It already started to change from a dull, purplish-red to a dark, aggressive violet. James didn't even want to imagine how she would look in the morning.

“Are you in pain?” he asked, his voice merely a warm, ghosting breath between them. She shook her head no and felt herself drift into a deep slumber in the safety of her mate’s arms.


	14. "For Jams"

James stayed awake for hours after Viola's chest had started to rise and fall in a deep and regular rhythm. He held her tight, never wanting to let go of her again to keep her safe and sound.

The next morning he felt worn out and exhausted. James was quick to silence his alarm to make sure it didn't wake her. He consciously avoided glancing over to her. She surely looked beaten up and the mental image alone had him curl his hands into tight fists out of pure anger.

He snuck into the en-suite and moved as quietly as he could to avoid waking her. She should sleep as long as possible. Viola had deserved every second of peaceful unawareness she could get. James glanced at her when he exited his walk-through closet, dressed and clean shaven like every other day. He wanted to prepare breakfast before eventually waking her up.

Viola moaned lowly and scrunched up her face when the pain in her head dawned on her even before she opened her eyes. The bed next to her was empty and when she ran a hand over the mattress she noticed that the sheets were cold, no trace of his body heat left in the linen.

Viola looked over to the clock on the nightstand and frowned. It was 7 am and she was feeling like a truck had run her over... multiple times. Where was James? Why wasn't he here, holding her and purring her back to the blissful nothingness of sleep?

With a long groan she crawled out of bed, put on James' shirt from yesterday, and dragged her aching body into the kitchen on the search for her mate. He stood in the kitchen with his back turned towards her. She limped over to him and wrapped her arms around his middle. James turned in her embrace and was shocked by what she looked like. Her whole left side was covered in dark bruises as if she had fought a prize boxer. She just looked horrible. He lightly traced the cut in her lower lip and held her closely.

Viola could see in his eyes that she was probably looking like one of the victims he saw at work everyday. She  _ was _ a victim, she thought even if she didn't want to call herself that. Not even in her head. James carefully lifted her up to sit on the countertop, his hips between her spread knees. He stroked his hands over her naked thighs and hips.

“How do you feel?” he asked, his voice rumbling deeply from his chest. It almost sounded like a purr, comforting her.

“Hurting.” Viola nuzzled his neck and took deep, steady breaths. She wrapped her arms around him again and savored the feeling of his warm palms on her naked skin. Suddenly he stepped back and lifted up her ankle to take a closer look at it. The ankle brace allowed him to check on it without opening. It was just as bruised as her face.

“Do you want something for the pain?”

Viola nodded and reached out her hand to touch his shaved cheek. James caught her wrist and pressed his lips against her palm before straightening his back again. “I'll get you something. Don't move.”

Viola mouthed a silent “okay” and watched him leave. The smell of coffee hung in the air and by the looks of it James was heading for work... like nothing had happened yesterday. When he returned and shook out one of the pills from the orange pillbox, Viola asked him directly, “Why did you shave?”

Well, more or less directly.

“Because I'm going to work,” he answered matter-of-factually.

“Of course, you are.” Her voice was hardly more than a whisper. Too quiet to be heard by him. James just filled a glass of water for her so he wasn't looking at her either. Why should he? He didn't like looking at her now. If she judged his expression from before correctly she couldn't even blame him. And he was already halfway out of the door like every morning. He would leave her alone again.

“But only after you made your statement at the police station,” he added.

Viola stared at him wide-eyed. “What?”

“You will come with me down to the police station and tell them everything you know about the men who attacked you yesterday.”

“But... but I don't know anything about them,” she argued and moved to the edge of the counter. The mere thought of leaving the apartment -with or without him- made her feel sick in the stomach and her heart started to race in panic.

“They have to be caught and prosecuted for what they did to you.” Aggression tinted his voice dark and mercilessly even though she wasn't the one deserving his wrath. James handed her the glass and pill, and looked at her expectantly.

“I don't want to press charges,” she said in a small voice, sending him a pleading glance. Her eyes were begging him for so many things in the same moment: She wanted him to stay home with her, to hold her close, and just forget what had happened to her. If she could stop thinking about it, why couldn't he?!

James felt her inner turmoil rage through his own chest. He didn't want to pressure her into talking but he would if he had to make them pay. James was certain that these bastards wouldn't stop with just one victim. They needed to be stopped!

“Please, go and get dressed. The sooner we get that over with, the sooner you can be back home safely again,” he decided and left to get a few files out of his office, giving her time to follow his orders. When he returned and she was still sitting on the counter, his chest tightened with anger. “What are you waiting for?”

It left his mouth harsher than he had intended to. Viola looked at him with wide eyes and rolled the empty glass in her hands.

“I don't want to go,” she said in a small voice.

He shook his head dismissively. “Go and get dressed, Viola.”

“But I don't want to go outside, James!”

He wasn't having any of his. James walked over to her and wordlessly began to lift her off the counter.

She struggled against his grip. Panic set in and her heart beat violently against her ribs. The air around her started to smell bitingly sharp again as she lashed around herself. Viola accidentally hit his chin with her elbow and he let go of her. She limped over to the couch to cower behind it while James held his pounding jaw. 

He had only wanted to help her off the counter but when she started panicking, he had hoped to calm her down again with physical contact, which had definitely backfired. Now she hid from him again. Great.

“Don't you want them to face consequences?! Viola, they will just keep going and maybe rape the next Omega they find. Do you want that?” he shouted at her, even though he knew he was only making it worse for her.

Viola was shaking. “No, I just want to forget what happened, James!”

“They won't and they will do it again because you decided to be a coward and hide up here in your ivory tower!”

James was seething. Now he was angry at her for not doing the right thing. She was supposed to be an example for other Omegas who were molested and abused by Alphas in public. Why should he fight those bastards in court if she wanted to look the other way and ''just forget it ever happened”.

“If you want to ignore that you look like a punching bag, fine! I'll go and do my job then. For victims who actually want justice and want the perpetrators to rot behind bars!”

When he was angry he said things he didn't mean... or rather didn't mean to say out loud. As it was now, James grabbed his briefcase and coat, and left the apartment without looking back at her once.

 

His day started and continued in frustration when James’ court case from the day before ended in summary judgement for the accused. A bitter disappointment and he wondered if racing from the courtroom to find Viola broke his momentum enough to affect the outcome.

When he came into the office and asked his secretary to get him some files for his next case, the phone rang and Lt. Hanson told him that they had yet another new case waiting for him at the precinct. With a growl, James told his secretary to reschedule the meeting with a defense attorney to discuss a deal for the next day because after visiting the police station he would go home and try to convince Viola to stand up against her attackers. Hopefully calmer and successfully this time.

“So, where's this new case that you couldn't present to me in my office? ” James growled as he entered the squad room. Lt. Hanson and one of the younger officers; who never lasted long in the special line of work, stopped their conversation and arched their eyebrows at him.

“Someone's in a good mood today,” she said with a huff that was quickly silenced when he glared at her and snarled, “I'm not here for your amusement. I have enough work already sitting on my desk. I shouldn't have taken on the Turner case because I was already working to capacity and now another case as the cherry on top. So, what do you want?”

Lt. Hanson decided not to take his moods personal. She knew them and had lived with them for the last six years.

“We received a call from the hospital yesterday concerning a little girl. Annie Kruger.”

James hated this case already. Child cases always got to him, no matter how hard he tried to separate himself from them.

“And why was she in the hospital?” he sighed and felt headaches built up behind his eyes, stabbing like little daggers.

“Burns on her arms and chest. Her mother said that she had been playing with matches but the doctor said it looks more like cigarette burns.”

“Wonderful. Where is the father?”

“There's none. Parents separated even before the girl was born,” Lt. Hanson reported and sighed. She hated the child cases too, especially since she was a mother herself.

“And what do you expect me to do?”

The police woman looked at him dumbstruck. “What?”

“I'm serious. She's a child and her mother seems to be the only family she has. Either she stays with her or ends up in an abusive Foster home.”

“Counselor, are you mad? She needs our help!”

“What if she doesn't want help? What if she wants to stay quiet? Without her mother she would be completely alone and she probably knows that. She won't testify and even if she does, she's just a child!”

The whole squad room had stopped working and stared at James. Lt. Hanson took his arm and pulled him into her office.

“I know you'd never say this if you were in your right mind. Is this because of what happened to your mate yesterday?”

“I'm not talking about my private relationship with you,” James growled and clenched his teeth tightly together.

“Alright, alright, then simply do your job and talk to the girl. She wouldn't talk to anyone else. Maybe you have more success as an Alpha. She's sitting in the small interview room and is waiting for you.”

James ground his teeth when he contemplated telling her about his fight with Viola this morning but decided against it. Instead he let out a heavy sigh, pressed the balls of his palms against his aching eyes, and shook his head.

Without another word James made his way over to the nicer, not so intimidating interview room. Through the one-way-mirror, he could already see a little, blonde girl, about 5 years old, sitting at the desk. She was completely sucked into her own world while drawing. There were thick bandages around her thin arms. She didn't look healthy, probably wasn't getting enough to eat at home either.

Lt. Hanson followed him and was talking to the social worker who had brought the girl here today. James lay his hand on the door handle and took a deep breath. Children were always the worst cases for him but he always wanted to win those, no matter what. After yesterday his nerves had become even thinner than usual, and now this case? Someone seemed to hate him. God or the Devil, he couldn't tell.

“Hello, would you mind if I asked you some questions?” James asked when he entered the interview room, and continued, “My name is James.”

The girl had looked up at him a bit uncertain but as soon as she heard his name her face brightened. “My teddy bear is also called James.”

He smiled honest for the first time in a while now.

“But I'm sure he's fluffier than I am. Can I sit down with you for a bit?”

The girl nodded, slid off the chair and guided him with her tiny hand wrapped around his forefinger to sit in her seat. She struggled to climb on his lap until James carefully lifted her onto it. Children shouldn't be so trusting towards strangers, he thought but it only spoke of her chaotic home if she searched for love in other places. He already knew how this girl's life would continue: wrong friends, drugs, pimps, STDs, and an early death.

He watched her draw for a few minutes, helping her pick out the colors for the flowers on the meadow she was drawing.

“Can you tell me what happened there, Annie?” he eventually asked, tapping her bandaged arms lightly. She shook her head and turned to her side, leaning her shoulder and head against his chest, James lay his arm around her tiny frame, sensing that she was torn between fear of getting in trouble for not telling the truth and fear of getting her mother in trouble if she told him the truth.

“I've heard that your mommy hurt you, is that right?” he tried again, whispering and almost purring for her comfort. Annie waited a second before she looked up at him with big, sad eyes and nodded. Suddenly tears started to well in them and a heart-shattering little sob escaped her lips.

“I didn't want to smear mommy's lipstick on my dress. It was an accident, I swear.”

“I believe you, Annie,” he whispered and pulled her closer against his chest, rocking her back and forth in order to calm the crying child. The dull pounding of anger rose inside him once again. How could a mother punish her daughter for playing with makeup with cigarette burns?

“I don't want mommy to go away again, James. Can you make that I can stay home and we can be happy?”

He wished she could say yes but he had to shake his head. Annie's lower lip started to quiver when she cried even harder.

“Annie, what your Mommy did was wrong and we have to teach her not to hurt you.”

“But then can I go home with Mommy?”

“Miss Renner, the nice lady from child services, is your case worker and she will make sure you have a safe home. Maybe we can find your daddy and he'll take you home.”

“Daddy is a bad man, mommy says.”

“Maybe your mommy isn't the best source for that kind of information,” James mumbled into the girl's hair. Annie lifted her head with a questioning look on her face.

“My mommy is what?”

“Maybe she wasn't telling the truth about your daddy,” he rephrased.

“But lying is bad!” Annie argued.

“That's right, just like hurting you is bad.”

She cast her eyes down to the white gauze on her arms. James followed her gaze and traced his fingers lightly over the soft material.

“My mate got hurt yesterday too,” he said, not really sure why he was telling her that, “She's afraid of standing up against the bad men who did it. But I know that you're a brave little girl and you will not let that happen to you again, am I right? I know you love your mommy but we need to keep you safe. She has to face consequences.”

Another word the girl didn't understand but before he could try and explain it, Lt. Hanson came into the room and brought the social worker with her. The look on the women's faces told him everything he needed to know even before he heard the shrieking voice from the squad room.

“Where the fuck is my daughter? Who released her from the hospital without telling me?”

A skinny blonde with dark circles under her wild eyes squeezed her way past Lt. Hanson into the interview room. James felt Annie tense up on his lap when her mother stormed over to them and grabbed her arm, completely oblivious to the fact that there were still cigarette burns underneath the

gauze.

“Come, Annie, we're going home now!” she commanded.

“I wanna stay with James!” Annie protested in vain.

“What are you talking about? Your stupid teddy bear is home.” She looked at James and her with fire in her eyes. "Exactly who the hell are you and why is my daughter on your lap?" 

She ripped at the girl who fell from James' lap onto the floor. When she started crying, it only made her mother's anger worse.

“This is my daughter you have no right to hold on to her! Look what you did! Now let go of her or I'll have you thrown in jail!” The woman never took her eyes from James as she carelessly grabbed her daughter and tried to pull her away from James.

James stood tall and squared up face to face with the woman, letting his natural dominance as an Alpha show so the woman would take a few steps back. He placed himself between Annie and her mother.

The woman still crossed her arms over her chest, knowing that he couldn’t stop her from taking her daughter with her. 

“Who the fuck are you anyways?”

“James Frederick Scaife, Assistant District Attorney for Central Flint. And I won't let you take her home with you.” His hands curled into tight fists. How could some one treat their own child like that?

James felt pure rage pump through his veins despite the numbing pills he had taken this morning when Lt. Hanson started to explain, “Her lawyer managed to get her out on bail. She has the right to take her home.”

James felt Annie's arms around his leg when she practically hid behind him. If Lt. Hanson was telling the truth he couldn't do anything against it. The knowledge ran through his guts like a razor blade. The woman grabbed her daughter's arm once more but James pushed her away again. He knelt down in front of Annie, reached inside his coat and pulled out his card.

“Can you read numbers, Annie?”

She shook her head and looked much more worried than any girl her age ever should.

“Okay,” he whispered and handed her the card anyway, “if you want to go away from mommy or if she's mean to you again, run to a neighbor, find a policeman or anyone else, and tell them to call me. Do you understand, Annie?”

She nodded and took the card with trembling hands. Her mother finally had enough and pushed her daughter out of the room. By the door she turned around one last time and hissed at James, “If you want little girls to sit on your lap, make some yourself, but stay the fuck away from my daughter.”

He would've followed her if not for Lt. Hanson who roughly ushered her outside the room to avoid trouble. James stayed in the interview room when everyone else had left. Annie had looked back at him with a pleading, almost desperate expression on her face. From the corner of his eye, he could see the drawing she had been working on. A classical children's work: sun with rays in the upper right corner, lush green grass with red, orange, blue and yellow flowers, an elaborate stick figure of a girl and next to her a man with a teddy bear head. Annie had written ''For Jams'' next to the bear man.

Cold anger gripped his insides and made him curl his hands into tight fists. The pressure in his chest rose into dizzying heights. He needed to do something before he exploded. These pills didn’t seem to work a single bit! 

James turned around and punched the wall across from the one-way-mirror so hard his knuckles started to bleed. He held the thudding hand and clenched his teeth tightly to keep from growling out the pain. He didn't care that he shouldn't be so invested into the girl's life and the terror she had to suffer under at home but this incredible inability to save her was getting to him.

James heard steps behind him as he paced the floor and held his injured hand. He really didn't need any of Lt. Hanson's smart comments right now.

“Give me a second,” he hissed without turning to the door.

The door closed but he could feel that he wasn't alone. James growled angrily and turned around to tell Lt. Hanson to get the fuck out but the words got stuck in his throat when he saw Viola in front of him. She looked at him with an unreadable expression.

“What are you doing here? How did you get here? W-why?” he stuttered dumbstruck and stepped closer. Viola almost looked like a ghost, completely out of place in this place filled with distress and anger. She wordlessly reached for his injured hand and lightly traced the bruised knuckles. He couldn't decide if he was glad that she was here or not. James hoped she didn't just come because he had been an asshole to her this morning but because she also thought that it was the right thing to press charges against her attackers.


	15. Statement

****“How long have you been here?” James whispered in the air between them, stepping closer and almost forgetting they were in the middle of a police precinct.

“Long enough to see that you are good with kids.”

Viola managed a light smile and brought his hand up to her lips to gently kiss the injuries. James let out a heavy breath and leaned his forehead against hers, closing his eyes and relaxing for the first time today.

“How did you know I was here?”

“I called your office and your secretary told me where to find you,” she whispered and closed her eyes as well, taking deep breaths of his scent to soothe herself. The way here with an Omega-friendly taxi, after calling Reba for advice, hadn't taken her too long but the mere fact that she was outside her safe apartment had almost given her a heart attack. Feeling him close and smelling his scent helped her center herself again.

“You were right this morning,” she said in a small voice and looked up at him again.

“I shouldn't have said the things I said. I shouldn't have yelled at you, darling.” James cradled her face softly and ghosted his fingertips over the dark, angry bruises on her face. “I shouldn't have been such an asshole.”

Viola smirked into her uninjured cheek and replied, “Well, if you weren't an asshole, you wouldn't be my mate.”

“Now I see what you like in me so much.”

It felt so good to be sarcastic with her again after yesterday and this morning, it almost felt normal.

“Among other things,” Viola whispered and wrapped her arms around him underneath his suit jacket. She relished the heat that was radiating from his body. He was her personal heating pad. James buried his nose in her hair and held her close. She smelled of him and only then he noticed that she was wearing his clothes; his shirt from yesterday and even a coat that almost grazed the floor when she wore it.

“You've been digging through the hamper,” he murmured and felt her shaking her head, “'course you have.”

“You dropped it on the bedroom floor. You didn't put it in the hamper,” she replied against his chest with a wise-ass smirk pulling on her lips. The sweet sign she had forgiven him his briskness from this morning. James couldn't be more relieved that she was acting so trusting towards him after everything. He ginned into his cheek, thinking once again that she was the perfect match for him, and rocked her slightly from side to side.

A cough from the door ended the way too short, tender moment. Lt. Hanson smiled at them friendly but her face turned concerned when Viola looked at her over her shoulder, revealing the nasty bruise on her face.

“Shall we start with the questioning of her teachers or do you still see no use in taking up charges against her mother, Counselor?”

James had calmed down again and one question from the Lieutenant had him clenching his teeth to the point of hurting again. “I'll prosecute, if you bring me the necessary evidence.”

Viola let out an almost inaudible sigh, still wrapped in his arms securely. Lt. Hanson let her brown eyes drop to his freshly bruised knuckles and then flicked back up to Viola's face. She wasn't seriously thinking he had put his own mate into this condition, he thought but a heartbeat later he remembered all the abusive Alphas he had encountered in court. Their mates, often the victims, had always been on their sides, dutifully lying for them on the stand or sitting in the first observation row behind them. It was almost understandable that Lt. Hanson shot him suspicious glances, almost. If anyone would never hurt their mate, it was him! He had been convinced of that until he had actually left bruises on her not even two weeks ago.

James slowly let go of Viola and watched Lt. Hanson come closer to them. He still kept a hand on his mate's back to give her comfort via physical contact.

“Are you ready to talk about what happened to you yesterday, Mrs Scaife?”

Viola still felt strange when being addresses with his surname. She nodded slightly and followed the woman into a more comfortable office where they sat down on an old couch in the corner to make it easier and feel less official. James stayed by her side for as long as he was allowed. He knew to ensure that he as her potential abuser wasn't pressuring her into making a false statement, he would have to leave them sooner or later. That was the common procedure. His head knew it but his instinct fought to stay with his frightened mate.

“You know, you can't stay here, Counselor,” Lt. Hanson said calmly. Viola stared at her with wide eyes and grabbed James' hand in an almost painful iron grasp.

“Please,” Viola whispered and looked pleadingly up to the police woman. Lt. Hanson sent James an asking look, telling him to explain it to his mate. He sat down next to her and found her cuddled back in his arms immediately. Under any other circumstance he would've disapproved of this blank, public display of affection but things were so different today... and with her in general.

“I can't stay here with you while you give your statement to make sure you can talk freely with the Lieutenant. It's just a precaution in case of abusive Alphas.”

“But you had nothing to do with this.” Viola gestured to her face and glanced at Lt. Hanson. “James didn't do anything. He was in court when I was attacked.”

“It's a precaution. When this goes to court the opposing lawyers could argue that you had been pressured into making a false statement for your mate.”

Viola shook her head violently. “But you didn't do it.”

“I know, darling, and you know it. As I said, it's just to avoid giving them fodder for their canons when this goes in front of a judge,” James whispered with a reassuring smile on his lips. Viola believed him. She reluctantly let go of him and nodded. James pressed his lips into her hair before eventually getting up and leaving the office.

“He'll be waiting right outside the door. No need to worry, Mrs Scaife.”

“You can call me Viola,” she whispered and pulled her over-sized coat tightly around her shaking body. She kept her eyes on the door and started chewing the inside of her cheek.

“Okay, Viola, you can say Abby to me. Can you tell me what caused those injuries on your face and wrist?”

“I fell down a flight of stairs to a subway station.”

Lt. Hanson lifted her eyebrows and nodded slowly.

“Why did you fall?” she asked calmly.

“Because I was running.”

“Why were you running?”

“Because I thought I was being chased,” Viola replied and looked over her shoulder to check for James outside the office.

“By who?”

Viola cast her eyes down. She didn't want to talk about it because that meant she needed to remember everything that had happened.

“By... by two strange Alphas who had molested me. They had pushed me into an alleyway and pressed me against a wall behind a dumpster.” Viola sucked in a shaky breath and felt tears swell in her eyes as she continued, “they groped me and stuck their hands under my shirt and into my pants.”

She had to clear her throat and wiped a stray tear from her cheek. “They hissed that they would... use me as a cum dump and then send me home to my mate again with their scent all over me.”

“Can you describe them?” Lt. Hanson asked after giving her a few seconds to compose herself again.

Viola shook her head and let her tears fall freely now. “I was too afraid to look up at them. They were tall and young. I could tell from their voices. One of them wore one of those emergency bracelets.”

“Do you remember what was on it?”

“The hospital symbol and ''Type one diabetic'' engraved on it.”

“That's good, maybe we can find them like that. Do you remember something about the other Alpha?”

Viola shook her head. She had tried to get away from them not ask them for their names and address. Now she regretted it because she felt like she was completely useless.

“I know that they smelled of smoke and cinnamon.”

“Maybe cigars?” Lt. Hanson murmured and jotted down some notes onto a notepad in front of her. Viola watched her furrowed brows and serious but beautiful face. She knew she wasn't a great help even though she tried.

“What exactly happened in that alleyway, Viola?”

“As I said, they pushed me against the wall and touched me... everywhere.” She could still feel their fingers slide into her underwear, rubbing her clit while hot lips whispered those disgusting words into her ear. ”I knew they wanted to rape me without a second thought. I needed to get away from them as fast as I could. When one of them let go of me to open his jeans I kicked the other against the shin and took my chance running. I thought that there would be a police officer down in the subway station. I looked over my shoulder to see if they were behind me. I tripped and fell down the stairs, twisted my ankle and bruised my wrist and head.”

“Yeah, we received the medical report from the hospital yesterday,” Lt. Hanson informed her and gave her a sympathetic smile. Viola knew she wasn't too confident in finding her almost-rapists but at least James couldn't say that she hadn't tried.

“What will happen now?”

“You'll have to write down what you just told me, don't leave out a single detail, and then we'll see if we can find any traffic cameras or ATM footage that might show you or the Alphas. I promise, we'll do anything we can to find them.”

What a beautiful lie, Viola thought but thanked her nonetheless. She wrote down her statement in one go without lifting the pen once, quickly signed it, and got up to hurry back into James' arms. She knew he didn't like the public display of affection but right now she couldn't have cared less. And James didn't seem to mind either when she finally left the office. He pulled her close and rubbed his hands up and down her back. The young detective he had talked to before only stared at them. Not only had nobody known he even had a mate, not even Hanson which was saying a lot, but seeing him so tenderly acting with the beaten up girl showed a completely different side of him.

“Can I go home now? I think I need a shower,” Viola sniveled into his chest, leaving tiny wet spots from her tears on his dark blue shirt. James purred affirmatively, completely oblivious to their surroundings and the fact that all of his coworkers' eyes and ears were directed at the hugging couple.

“We're going home, darling,” James whispered into her ear. He loosened his embrace only to take her hand in his before walking out of the precinct. James didn't waste a single thought to Lt. Hanson and what Viola had told her. His only concern was to get his mate home and cuddle with her under approximately a hundred layers of pillows and blankets to shield her from the grim outside world. He cursed himself for not having a driver when he had to let go of her to drive them home.

Once inside their car, Viola moved over to him and hugged his right arm tightly. James purred the whole ride home through the unnerving stop-and-go-rush-hour-traffic. She was in a half-slumber as soon as they had stopped in front of the first red light.

Viola only opened her eyes again when they were home and James tried to free his arm out of her grasp. She sat up straight within a heartbeat and looked around panicking. She blinked the sleep out of her eyes and tried to remember what had happened and where they were.

“Home, darling,” James purred and smoothed a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She calmed down almost immediately and they made their way up to their apartment silently. Viola had her face pressed against his chest while James enveloped her in his suit jacket to make her feel protected. She took deep, calming breaths, and held them in her lungs to taste his scent on her tongue. God, he could do so much without doing anything at all. A dark shadow lay over her when she remembered that it was still early and that this meant that James would probably just get her inside their bedroom before he would head off back to his office, leaving her alone once again.

Viola tried to brush that thought aside and simply concentrated on the fact that right now he was with her and held her so wonderfully close. She let him guide her into the bedroom and undress her carefully before she crawled into bed, the shower forgotten over her tiredness. Viola turned away from him and pulled the blanket over her head. Maybe like that she wouldn't hear his steps moving farther and farther away from her when he abandoned her for his real love, work, again.

Just as she started to feel tears rise in her eyes and a lump form in her throat, Viola heard the deep rumble of James' purr right next to her only a second before his arm snaked around her waist.

He felt like throwing up. She was feeling terrible, at the brink of shattering, and to top it all, she also started to get sad. His instincts told him to hold her tight and purr until the nagging tugging in his guts would finally disappear again. Viola tensed up the second he touched her through her little blanket cocoon.

Slowly, Viola turned around, still hidden from his sight while James never let up his deep, comforting purring. The sadness melted with every passing second. She pulled the blanket carefully from her head and looked up into his calm face only inches from hers. Letting out a soft sigh, she cuddled closer to him and, to get her even closer, James pulled the blanket away between them and allowed for direct contact. He almost couldn't believe that the girl in his arms was the same as the one who had danced through his kitchen only one and a half months ago.

Girl, James thought and buried his nose in her soft hair. She was still a girl, of age and completely developed physically, but technically still a girl. Viola murmured something against his chest he couldn't quite understand.

He hummed questioningly and she repeated her request, “Would you read me something? Just to give me something other to listen to than my own thoughts.”

“Of course,” he purred and looked around some books to read. Indeed, there was one on Viola's nightstand. He picked up the heavy piece of literature and sat straighter to read properly. Viola instantly snuggled into his side and watched him caress the worn leather cover of the classic novel.

“From the beginning?”

She nodded and closed her eyes as soon as she heard his calm voice fill the silence in the room.

“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

James read her the first three chapters of Anna Karenina until he realized that she'd fallen asleep long ago. He watched her peaceful, still discolored face with a deepening frown. She had deserved a mate who could keep her safe and sound. Obviously he had the second down but lacked the first. James should've never forced her into this relationship and doomed her to this dangerous, unfulfilling life by his side. He carefully stood up and made sure she was still asleep by the time he left the bedroom.

He moved into his office and sat down at his desk. James glanced at the files ad notes in front of him but couldn't muster the energy to even lift his hand to pick up a pen. Why was he even doing this? Every day innocent children were hurt and their childhoods and lives destroyed, and he was merely picking up the pieces. He didn't even mend them, just examined and cataloged them before turning to the next case without looking back once.

James stared out of the tall windows and clenched his teeth tightly. He couldn't forget the look in Annie's eyes when her mother had dragged her out of the room today. Once again, hot anger boiled up in his guts as his hands curled around the arm rests of his office chair until his bruised knuckles turned white. He should've ripped her out of her mother's arms and taken her home with him to make sure nobody could harm her again.

Suddenly his chest felt tight again and he couldn't breathe properly. After yesterday he knew exactly what caused this contracting sensation: Viola.

With hurried steps he walked back into the bedroom and found her sitting upright and panting in the sheets. She looked at him with pleading eyes and held out her hands like a scared child looking for comfort in his arms. He sat back down on his side of the bed and found her nestled in his arms only a heartbeat later.

She whimpered, he purred.

“Why did you leave me?” Viola asked and the heartbreak in her voice almost shattered his own.

“I'm sorry,” James simply whispered instead of trying to explain. He held her tighter until she stopped trembling.

“Do you have to go back to work?” she sniveled against his chest once she could speak again. She wouldn't directly ask him to stay, hoping he would put her over his files and victims just once.

She almost sobbed when he shook his head no and whispered, “No, not today. We see how you feel tomorrow. If you still want me to stay, I will call in sick.”

James almost sounded like he expected her to be thankful that he didn't neglect her now. Was she expecting too much from him? Wasn't it his duty to be there for her when she needed him and she had never needed his calming presence more than today.

Viola closed her eyes and snuggled closer to him. She fell asleep in a matter of seconds. James couldn't find any sleep this night though. He drew imaginary patterns on her back while she blew calm, regular breaths against his chest. He could feel that she was anything but happy with him and it seemed that even when he tried his hardest, he still failed her miserably.

James felt his heart clench with the knowledge that he had potentially destroyed both their lives when he had rammed his teeth into her neck all those weeks ago. But even worse was the thought that she might realize what a mess he really was and would leave him alone forever the next chance that presented itself to her.

James shook his head and snuck into their en-suite, making sure not to wake her while he searched through the medicine cabinet and swallowed two of his special pills to get rid of this nauseating feeling of failure in the back of his head. It felt good to feel nothing... or at least better than the guilt that haunted him whenever he looked into her peaceful but damaged face before turning off the lights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody,  
> This will probably be the last chapter for two weeks max. I'm sorry for the pause but I still have to do shit for uni and being home again, I have to help my mother. This story will NOT be abandoned, just to make this clear, it will only be paused until I'm done with everything and can concentrate on writing again.  
> Thank you for all your sweet comments and sticking around for so long already. You're the best.  
> Kristin


	16. Sawyer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,  
> and let me say first off: I'M SO SORRY! It was such a long break and I have absolutely no excuse for it. I handed my last paper in on the 20th March and in the meantime and worked on other books until I forced myself to sit down and get this chapter down. Might not be the best one but at least it's here.  
> Thanks to everyone who is still around and showed so much patience with me. You are the best "community" a writer could hope for.  
> Lots of love,  
> Kristin

****James stayed home for the next three days until her bruises had changed color and her ankle was better. They lived from what their kitchen cabinets could offer because Viola wouldn't let him order take-out.

“I don't want any strangers around me at the moment,” she had explained in a small voice after he had, rather irritatedly, asked her what her problem was. Another increase in dosage was the result of that biting remark to make sure they wouldn’t fight again… which was the whole point in taking those damn pills! Slowly but surely, James noticed that he really started to care less and less about everything in his life.

When it was time for him to get back to work, he debated if he should even bother showering before going to the office. He didn't have court anyway, so why the fuss? In the end he had a quick shower and was only moved emotionally when he said goodbye to Viola. Her eyes were huge and she was chewing the inside of her cheeks once again.

“When will you be back home?”

“After work, darling. I can't say yet. I'll bring dinner, so no stranger danger anywhere near you.”

Viola furrowed her brows at his nonchalant tone and the way he avoided looking at her. His shirt cuffs seemed to be more important than her and it pissed her off. Anger and fear were her major emotions since the attack and he wasn't making it any better.

Little did she know that James actually had a surprise for her he had secretly organized for her. Hopefully it would help her lessen some of her fear of the outside world again. Even without the aid of the pills numbing his emotions he was rational enough to know that he simply couldn't hold her hand 24/7.

 

Viola spent the day taking care of and pampering herself with a nice long bath, reading the books Reba had recommended her, and watching some of the bullshit TV James wouldn’t watch with her without moaning. She started worrying something had happened to him when he wasn't home until 6 p.m. Well, after all he had said he would bring dinner, she thought. She tried to force herself to calm down, but she couldn't. Something about him was so off lately and Viola couldn't shake the feeling that it was her fault. Maybe she was getting annoying and he was researching ways to break the bond between them.

Perhaps that wouldn't be such a bad idea, Viola suddenly thought. She still felt like he was a stranger to her. He kept too many secrets from her and since their last fight he seemed even more... distant. Viola let out a heavy sigh and turned off the TV that had been rambling over her thoughts for the last hour. How could a single life be so messed up? She was only 19 years old but feeling like she had already lived more than one life. Now she only needed to find out if James belonged to the life she was just slipping into, or the one she feared was already ended. Were they over before they really started? Should she accept what was or fight for what might be?

Viola felt lost, swimming between stages of being an Omega who had been thrown into the Hunt as public entertainment, a teenager in the shoes of an adult without the necessary information at hand, and a woman with a mate who wouldn't let her in to share his thoughts and fears.

Her stomach started rumbling when she suddenly heard James' keys in the lock. As soon as the door was open, she knew something was off.  There was a strange, animal scent accompanying his familiar one and the one of her desired food. Carefully peeking over the backrest of the couch, she waited for him to finally appear. Her stomach growled again when the smell of Italian food crawled into her nose.

“Viola?!” James said loudly and closed the door behind him again, “Darling, I'm home and I've got you something!”

That “something” suddenly appeared in the living room and instantly found her with it's deep brown eyes. Viola slightly gasped when that giant something stood looking over the couch, sniffing and wagging its tail at her. She couldn’t believe James had bought them a dog! She loved dogs, really but why not a Pomeranian? Why did he have to get her a Doberman?

James followed the dog's gaze and her little gasp, finding Viola hiding behind the couch's backrest.

“There you are. Come here and say hello.”

“What is this?” she asked, not moving an inch.

“It's called a dog.”

James put down the take-out on the kitchen counter before bringing the dog over to the couch. Viola stayed calm but unexcited. Doberman's weren't the least cuddly, if anything they were the complete opposite. James sat down next to her, still holding the dog's leash. The canine looked at her attentively, as if it was expecting her to say something to allow it to even breathe. He opened a canvas bag embroidered with the name 'Sawyer.'

"Her name is Sawyer and this," he showed the bag to Viola, "is her training bag and inside is a special dog vest she wears when she is working as your service dog. When you put the vest on her she will know you are her person and she will bond with you. It's important that you are the one who puts her vest on and snaps her leash onto the vest. But it looks like she has already figured out that you're her person." James wondered for a moment if the dog could read that he lacked the emotions she had been trained to respond to. Maybe not the worst so she wouldn’t get confused who she was supposed to comfort.

“She'll calm and protect you when I can't,” he added but was promptly interrupted by Viola.

“What do you mean, when you can't? Where are you going? Are you okay?”

He quickly held up his hands to soothe her rising panic. “I'm alright, darling, but I meant when I'm at work. I can't stay here all the time. We've been over this.”

Viola started chewing the insides of her cheeks again, Sawyer still staring at her but coming closer an inch at a time as if the slight tremor in her voice was pulling on her like an invisible leash. Viola carefully extended a hand to let the dog sniff on it. From the corner of her eye, she noticed that James was smiling a little triumphantly and unclipped the black leather leash that had held the dog in control. But even with her new found freedom, Sawyer stayed at the place and stared at Viola.

“So, you got me a fierce looking dog... Why?”

“As I said, to protect you.”

“But I don't need protection in the apartment. It's safe in here and I would have to walk her or she'll ruin the floors.”

“Exactly.”

“What, exactly?” Viola asked, looking back at him and narrowing her eyes. Was he actually suggesting that she should leave the house again? Without him? Had he lost his fucking mind?!

“You'll have to leave the apartment. You can't stay in here for the rest of your life. We're running out of food and getting it delivered all the time will ruin me on the long run.”

“But-”

“Darling, Sawyer is a service dog, trained for the sole purpose of protecting and calming stressed and anxious women. I knew from an old friend that there were dogs like her and called in about a million favors to get her in such a short time. It can take up to two years before others get their service dogs.”

“But-”

“You are acting a little ungrateful, I have to say.”

“No, I'm not ungrateful,” Viola said loudly, not willing to let him cut her off a third time, “I'm just surprised and shocked. You expect me to simply brush off what happened while I still have the bruises and-”

“No, not brush it off,” James snapped and his voice took on that dangerous tone again. He stood and walked into the kitchen, “You simply can't stay hidden in your ivory tower for the rest of your life. I want you to be able to feel better, feel safer with her around. She would give her life to keep you from harm.”

“Stop pretending you care! You are just tired of spending time with me. You don't want to be home!” Viola shouted back and her heart started pounding in her chest like a steam hammer. The dog began to make small grumbling noises and Viola suddenly feared that she would growl at her. In reality Sawyer was focusing on James around the edge of the couch, identifying him as her cause of distress.

“There,” he pointed to the dog. “You will always have someone in your corner. I have to work to earn a living. We've been over this, if I don't work  we'll lose the apartment, land on the streets, and starve.  Do you want that?”

The growl got louder and Viola notices the hair in the nape of the dog's neck standing up straight.

“Call her down, Viola.” James took a slow step away.

“I can't.” Viola’s voice sounded two octaves higher than normal making the dog lift a lip at James in warning.

“Viola!” James whisper shouted aware that the more afraid Viola was the closer he was to being attacked.

A loud bark cut through the air between them.

“S-Saywer, down. It's alright,” she tried and to her amazement the canine immediately relaxed and came around the couch to lick Viola's hand. Sawyer slowly wagged her tail and ducked her head as she placed a paw on Viola’s leg as if to comfort her. It work surprisingly well and when Viola finally started to pet her she realized how silky the fur on Sawyer's head felt.

“So, are you admitting that she can help you?” James asked from the kitchen, sounding tired. Viola nodded and played with Sawyer's natural floppy ears.

“I still have to walk her every day?”

“Yes, at least three times a day, but she will make sure you're fine and make it home safely again. Viola, that's her job as much as being an ADA is mine.”

Jobs, Viola thought with a scowl, everyone had something to do except for her. Perhaps that could change a little bit now that she had Sawyer to give her company. Company that should be her mate. She wasn't dumb or didn't know that everything cost money in this world. She had had economics in school, hadn't even been too bad in it. But her head and her heart had different points of views on the world and the people surrounding her.

Calling Reba once a week was nice, giving her a connection to her old school while not reminding her of the bad sides and memories of that place. The stories about Reba's toddlers were making her laugh while also planting the idea of children of her own in her head. Viola looked at James still busy in the kitchen, unpacking the take-out he'd brought, and shook her head at herself. If he wasn't there for her now, not even after what had happened to her, he probably wouldn't stay home to change diapers either. She couldn't say if she was able or willing to be a single parent while knowing that her mate should be home and taking care of their children too.

Sawyer made a small whining noise to get her new owner's attention and Viola complied by smiling down at the trustworthy brown eyes.

“Can I take off her harness? She doesn't need to wear it in the apartment, right?” Viola asked without taking her eyes off of Sawyer's friendly face. She never thought that a breed like Dobermans could actually look cute but Sawyer definitely did.

They ate in silence, James sitting next to her on the couch but keeping his distance because of Sawyer's intense staring. His friend had told him that would also attack mates if the Omega was distressed by them, and in the last weeks he had almost been the sole reason for her distress.

After dinner he brought the stuff he had bought for Sawyer, but had left in his car earlier, into the apartment and left Viola to set up the dog's sleeping place and water bowl. Sawyer never left her side, a clear indicator that Viola was still not completely calm. James watched her for a few seconds before retreating into his office, tomorrow's case still needing preperation.

In the evening when it was time for Sawyer's walk, Viola was reluctant to leave the apartment even though the dog had already shown that she wasn't going to let anyone get to close to her. James offered to go with them the first night -even though he'd rather take more notes- and found Viola clutched to his hand like her life depended on it. He had to bite back a few annoyed groans when her fingers were about to crash his hand, but knew better than to drive her away like that, especially now with Sawyer keeping a close eye on her.

The pills in his system were dulling him not only to negative feelings but also to the positive emotions. Intellectually, he knew that he should be comforting her and telling her in a calm voice that nothing could harm her but his mind wandered back to work so fast that she was left nothing but a warm feeling by his side.

He heard her voice like a thick curtain was separating them. James hummed here and there, not paying her any attention until she stopped in her tracks and forced him to come to a halt as well.

“Why are we stopping?” he asked and finally turned to look at her. She nodded down to Sawyer peeing and frowned.

“You're not here,” Viola said in a low, almost sad voice.

“Of course I am here. You're holding my hand.”

“No, your mind is somewhere else.” Viola loosened her fingers around his hand and eventually let go of him. If felt like losing something when the body contact was suddenly gone but like so many other things at the moment he simply brushed it off and they continued the walk around the neighborhood. Viola didn't talk anymore and it didn't even occur to him that she might be hurt by his distant behavior. All he cared about right now was tomorrow's case.


	17. Care

****Two weeks after getting Sawyer Viola was actually feeling much better. She still felt wary when she had to walk her but obviously she couldn't rely on James at the moment. Also over the last weeks she had found herself more and more often throwing away the dinner she had prepared for him. Why she still bothered making him food was beyond her but it felt like the right thing. This was what good wives and mates did, what she had learned at Finewood. Maybe when his work slowed down again, they could get closer again or even closer than they had been before.

“Will it ever slow down though?” she asked herself loudly and searched Sawyer's face for an answer. The dog seemed just as clueless as Viola felt. Hope was a dirty liar and it took disgusting pleasure in torturing the ones who still clung to it. Viola let out a deep sigh and continued cooking the meal that James would ignore again. She still held onto the hope that things would get better but the cruel reality that the good times with him might already be over and she was stuck in a loveless relationship and with her silent dog as the only company, she thought with a frown. Tears started to rise in her eyes and she instantly felt Sawyer's wet nose nudging her to get her attention. She was her calm anchor now and Viola was certain that she would never hurt her like James was doing with his distant and uncaring behavior. They had hardly talked these last weeks; he was either at work or shut himself inside his home office as if he wanted to avoid her at all costs.

Her heart clenched tightly even before her next thought had completely formed. To protect herself from further pain, she should do the same as him. Separate from him emotionally, he had already managed to make an accidental brush of their legs under the blanket; the only physical contact since she got Sawyer.

The dog tried her hardest to comfort Viola as she sat down on the couch and cried into her hands. She licked the back of her hands until Viola would show her face again only to have her cheeks licked too. In the end Viola sat on the floor, holding onto Sawyer as tightly as she could and let her tears wet the shiny black fur of the only one who really seemed to care about her.

 

When James came home he didn't even notice that Sawyer didn't show up to welcome him home, in fact he didn't care about much with the pills forcing his mind into a constant state of foggy disinterest. He had fared rather fine work-wise. People he came into contact with daily didn't seem to notice that he was even more focused on the legal parts of his job. James had always been stiff with victims so it wasn't odd to seem him standing motionless next to a crying victim in witness preparation. He had Lt. Hanson for that kind of work and since the Annie-incident, James stayed even farther away from child cases.

Today in court he had caught a witness of the defense telling an obvious lie about the defendant's alibi. It would only be a matter of seconds for the jury to find him guilty and put him behind bars for at least a couple of years.

When he entered the apartment around midnight, he knew something was off. Loud music was playing, somehow melancholy sounding, and the door to the balcony stood wide open. A chilly breeze surrounded him as soon as he was past the couch and had draped his coat over its back. A trace of Viola's scent mixed in with the fresh air coming from outside. With a slight frown, James walked closer to the door and saw his mate standing right at the banister of the balcony, looking down the enormous drop to the busy city below. Wasn't she mortally afraid of heights?

“Why aren't you asleep?” he asked calmly and joined her on the balcony. Viola didn't answer or acknowledge his presence at all. She only tightened her arms around her middle.

Frowning deeper, he stepped closer and leaned against the banister next to her. They stayed silent for a few moments before James tried again.

“I thought you didn't like the balcony.”

“I don't,” she said in a monotonous voice and kept staring into the night.

“Then why are you out here?”

“Because I feel less alone when I can hear the people down there.” She let out a deep sigh. “Do you know how many times a siren goes off in the city in one day?”

James shook his head silently. Why exactly did she feel less alone on an empty balcony in the 37th floor? She didn't make any sense.

“257 times over the entire day and every time I ask myself: Is this another case for James? Will he come home before or after midnight? Or at all? Does it matter?”

James furrowed his brows in confusion. What was she saying there?

“I stopped making you dinner a week ago,” she whispered and continued, “You didn't even notice, did you?”

No, he hadn't noticed and a cold awareness slowly crept up his back. It almost felt like a figure straight from a horror movie reaching out his claws to ram them into his flesh. James watched her attentively, waiting for the grand finale. He knew there was something else she wanted to say.

“I stopped caring where you eat, what you eat, or if you eat at all,” Viola told him with a heavy voice. She fought against the lump burning in her throat and continued after taking a deep breath, “I stopped caring about you, James.”

That's it. That was the end. His mate, openly distressed and close to tears, told him that she didn't care for him anymore, and he felt nothing. Without another word, she left him alone on the balcony.

He looked after her while she slowly disappeared into the darkness of the apartment. James searched his insides for panic, grief, anger, or really any kind of emotions but he was scarily unmoved by her testimony.

Slowly though he started to feel something: shame. He hadn't been the perfect mate but he had always thought he had acted in her best interest as well. The fact that she was giving up on him meant he had disappointed and failed her. Yet, not even that feeling struck deep enough to have a significant impact. It was gone just as quickly as it had come. And he knew it was abnormal to shrug it off like that.

It couldn't stay the way it was. Hopefully it wasn't too late already, James walked inside and hurried towards their bedroom with long strides. When he saw that their bed was empty, he looked over his shoulder to the door beyond the hallway. He shortly contemplated going over and talking with her but he was too... free of emotion to do her justice. If he told her he was sorry, he would be lying and she deserved better.

 

Viola was waiting for him to enter the room and say something -anything- to what she had just told him only a few minutes ago. Nothing came but the sound of him closing their bedroom door behind him without even trying to speak with her.

She had lied about not caring about him. The suffocating pain in her chest was evidence enough. And she hurt madly, every second he wasn't with her, holding her, telling her that she mattered and was most important to him. Why else had he claimed her? To be distant and absent the whole time? He had been so perfect in the beginning and now...

Viola cried into her pillow until sleep finally embraced and silenced her. Sawyer laying next to her, offering company and warmth without fail.

 

* * *

 

The next morning she woke up at the same time as him. Out of habit. Something she would soon forget again if she only separated herself enough from him. The mornings had been the only time of the day they had shared together but if he didn't speak with her, she didn't see the point in helping him with his morning routine.

He left for work at his regular time and Viola wondered if he had even bothered getting breakfast or his usual cup of coffee. She decided to take Sawyer out on a long walk that day, trying to distract her mind from the train wreck that used to be a rather happy relationship with her mate. Sawyer loved the long walk, of course she did. She sniffed at every second street corner and was even allowed to run a bit once they were down at Bond River, and played with a royal poodle who had a very colorful owner. Viola stuck to her forced smiles and a friendly “hello” while she envied the woman for her courage to walk around with four piercings in her face, a snake tattoo up her arm, and pink strands in her bleached Afro.

Around noon Viola was back home and fixed herself a quick meal from the plentiful leftovers from yesterday. He hadn't even touched them before going to bed last night. Great, why did she still bother making dinner for him when he didn't reheat them... or acknowledged them at all?

Viola cuddled up with Sawyer on the couch while eating and surfing through the various channels until she found the “culture” channel and watched a documentary about Eliza Schyler-Hamilton. Interesting enough to occupy her mind long enough until they dropped a sentence about her husband being absent and working all the time. Nope, hit too close to home. Viola scrunched up her nose and turned the TV off after that.

The clock on the microwave read half past five by then. The perfect time to start with an elaborate dinner for herself and no one else. Viola bit the inside of her cheek to keep the disappointed tears from rising in her eyes. But it wasn't just that she was disappointed in him, it was also the nagging feeling, that self-doubt, that she had failed as an Omega and as his mate.

Was he merely reacting to her insufficiency?

She shook her head at herself and grabbed the ingredients from the fridge. Just a quick vegetable curry with a portion of rice. Viola turned on the stereo for background noise while she cut up onions, eggplant, and zucchini. When she went to reach for the second red bell pepper, she stopped mid-motion and noticed the small mountain of chopped up food. It was way too much for one person. Subconsciously she was still cooking for James as well, expecting him to come home at a reasonable time to dine with her together.

“Well, I'll just make two portions for myself then,” she said to herself with a quivering lower lip while she tried to convince herself that that had been her intention all along. A weak attempt that didn't work out. Viola started crying while working, a thick curtain of salty water clouding her vision so much that one cut went through something other than fresh bell pepper.

With a hiss she pulled her hand up and all she saw was blood. The cut in her forefinger wasn't anything big, not in the slightest as dramatic as her last kitchen accident, but it bled like hell. Memories of what had happened the last time flooded her mind and the realization that the softness and care he had shown her back then would never happen again hurt even more than any physical wound ever could.

That was when she finally broke down in tears and collapsed on the hard floor. She leaned against the counters, pulled her knees to her chest, and cried into her knee caps. Her whole life was wasted if he stopped taking care of her, if he froze her out, or told her to leave. She was so dependent on him but he was simply... gone.

Her whole life lay in ruins, shattered into a million pieces, sharp and cutting deep into her tender flesh. Usually she would've never let herself descend into the abyss of self-pity but Viola cried like she was mourning James' death. And, yes, the man she thought she knew with the boiling jealousy, secrets, but also the kind eyes and the cheekiest of smirks was dead.

Her chest felt like it was going to break into two halves any second now. She couldn't breathe anymore. Her lungs refused to fill with air, leaving her gasping like a fish on land. Viola could die and she was sure he wouldn't even bat an eye. It ripped her heart out.

Just as she choked out a hoarse cry, Viola felt something on her injured hand. Thinking it was Sawyer trying to comfort her once again, Viola pulled her hand back and lifted her head to let out a heart-shattering sob. It got stuck in her throat when she didn't find the compassionate, brown eyes of her dog but the almost forgotten green ones of James. Viola was almost certain she was dreaming. He was still at work, he would be at work for a few more hours, and even if he was home, he would never kneel before her and reach out a comforting hand.

Viola stared at him for a second that felt like forever. He said something. His lips moved but his words didn't come through to her brain. The mere fact that he was here right now was enough to make her snap out of her trance.

She leaped forward and embraced him tightly. He stopped talking, closed his arms around her and pulled her just as tightly into his arms. Viola started nuzzling his neck, taking deep and calming breaths. He was here, home, with her. But for how long, her internal voice asked in a warning tone. Viola shut it up with a relieved sigh. James was home and holding her, and that was all that mattered.

James started to move his hands back way too early for her taste so she clutched herself tighter to him with a whimper.

“Don't go,” she whined silently and prayed he wouldn't leave her alone again.

But James didn't intend to leave. He sat down next to her on the hard kitchen floor, pulled her close again, and took a closer look at her still bleeding finger.

Viola's whole body shook from the hiccups of her silent sobs as she watched his calm face. He brought her finger up to his lips and carefully sucked the blood off. It wasn't much but enough to coax another little sigh out of her before she closed her eyes and rested her head against his shoulder.

Viola took deep, calming breaths, filling her lungs with his scent and warmth. And something else was in the air too. Roses and peonies. She lifted her heavy eyelids and found a bouquet lying lonely and forgotten on the bar counter.

He had brought her her favorite flowers. As an apology? She didn't want to get her hopes up too high when she still didn't know why he was here right now.

“You brought me flowers?” she whispered against his chest. James hummed affirmatively and held her a bit tighter, pressing his lips against the crown of her head. They sat like this for a few minutes until he moved to get up again.

“Where are you going?” Viola wanted to know, sounding almost panicked. He turned around and bent down to cradle her worried face. It was almost unnatural how placid he was.

“I'm going to put the food in the fridge, take off my shoes and jacket, and order us some really fat and unhealthy food from your favorite place. Following that I was going to propose a very relaxing evening on the couch with a classic Hitchcock.”

Viola's eyes grew larger with every word he said in that same unmoved tone he had used with her over the last agonizingly long weeks. She nodded in his hand and watched him do everything he had just announced. It was so weird to still see him with his stone cold expression while preparing the couch and coffee table with a folded blanket he would rest his feet on like he had done before he had changed into this robot.

When everything was set and done, James moved over to Viola who still sat on the floor, holding her blood-covered hand. He helped her up and silently brought her to the small bathroom next to the entrance door. He didn't look into her eyes when he cleaned her finger and carefully put a small patch on the cut.

“Thank you,” she whispered, looking down at his work.

“What would you like to watch`”

James put everything away he had needed to play doctor, walked over to the DVD cupboard, and waited for her answer. When none came, he finally lifted his gaze up to her worried eyes.

“Viola?”

When he had put away the antiseptic balm, she had caught a glimpse of a pill bottle she hadn't seen before. Usually she didn't use the small bathroom so she had never noticed them before. She remembered James going in here last thing in the mornings. Was he sick and that's why he took the pills? They were in a regular pill bottle that said Tylenol but she knew what those pills looked like and these were anything but round white pills with the letter T stamped on them. She heard his voice from the couch and put the pills back before leaving the bathroom.

“I don't know why you're here,” she said in a small voice, contemplating if she should bring up the strange pills.

“Because this is my home.” His voice sounded like it was a simple truth and nothing more.

“But why so early?”

“Do you want me to leave again?”

Viola shook her head violently and hurried over to him to clutch herself to him as tightly as possible. Even there in his arms she still shook her head no, questions and pills completely forgotten again.

“Alright, I got it,” he said lowly and stroked his hands up and down her back. Such a simple gesture that held so much meaning and tenderness in it. They moved to sit on the couch and she wanted to snuggle into his side immediately but James didn't sit down right away. He put in a movie Viola couldn't care less about before finally slumping down next to her and draping his arm around her like everything was absolutely fine and had never been any other way.

They slept in the same bed again that night but where he had acted almost normal again while watching Vertigo and eating pizza on the couch, he turned distant and cold again in bed. When Viola wanted to press her body against his side and lay her head on his chest, James turned his back towards her and turned off his bedside lamp while uttering the simplest good night in her direction.

She felt alone again while he wasn't even an arm's length away from her. Viola turned away from him as well and stared into the darkness of the room. What was going on here? Had he just played his role of her devoted mate again for an afternoon to keep her in line? Was he still caring about her enough that he didn't want to lose her or was it just for the cameras? He had career ambitions and a lovely mate by his side was a better image than an empty chair with her name on it. And what about those mislabeled pills?

The questions wouldn’t let her find sleep. She needed answers but was afraid of more lies or cutting cold shoulders from James. She got up and sneaked out of the room. Viola soon sat in front of James’ laptop in his office, the only light flooding the room being that from the screen. In front of her sat the opened pill bottle, a few pills spilled out to get a better look at them. There had to be some kind of a website to compare these to and see if she could find out what he was taking like that. Undoubtedly something was wrong with him but now she only needed to find out if the pills caused his change of demeanor or if they fought some sickness he tried to hide from her.

After an hour she had finally found what she had been searching for and couldn’t believe her eyes. Clobazam, a benzodiazepine to treat anxiety states, sleeping problems, temper tantrums, and stress states. Those disgusting little pills had taken away her angry, jealous mate and replaced him with this mere shadow of his. Viola wiped the browser history clean, not wanting him to find out she knew about his secret now. She didn’t know what she would do with the new gained information in the morning, but secretly she hoped he would come clean by himself. Hopefully.


	18. Coming clean

The next morning Viola stood up as quietly as she could and decided to let him sleep in while she prepared breakfast so they could enjoy a leisurely Saturday morning together. She chose to use some of the already chopped up ingredients from yesterday for an omelet, silently hoping he would wake up from the smell of breakfast and join her, maybe even take over the task of setting the table or make them coffee. But deep down she knew that he wouldn't do that. Not while he was still taking those numbing pills. As she watched the omelet cook, Viola asked herself if she should try them too. If they both didn't feel anything, nobody could be hurt.

Suddenly music started playing from the stereo. Old, slow music from the 60's. A second later two warm hands circled her from behind, one holding the remote for the stereo. James pressed his front against her back and bottom, and pulled her tightly against him. He buried his nose in her messy hair and hummed with the song.

Viola almost buckled at the knees. After weeks of absolute distance, he was so close to her again, so warm and tender. She leaned her head back against his shoulder, closed her tired eyes, and lay a hand over his around her stomach. If this wasn't just an act and he had actually returned to his old reserved but attentive and present self, her prayers had finally been answered.

“That omelet's getting dark,” James rasped into her ear and pulled her back to the present.

Viola quickly turned the contents of the smoking pan like a pancake and regretted the loss of his hands that enabled her movements. But before he could let go of her completely, James dipped his head into the crook of her neck, kissed her Claiming mark and murmured, “ I stopped taking the pills.”

Viola turned around so quickly that she hit his face with her hair.

“Really?” she gasped, searching his eyes for the slightest hint that he wasn't honest with her when he nodded with a faint smile. She almost squeezed the life out of him when she hugged him and buried her face in his shoulder.

James cautiously felt for the buttons on the stove and turned down the heat on the pan before closing his arms around her small frame in return. He loved to see her happy and after he had already stopped with the pills yesterday morning, he could finally appreciate her fully again.

When she had tried cuddling with him in bed, he had already had enough of body contact after sitting on the couch with her. He couldn't have endured more touching by that point, and that very fact was what made him realize those pills were harming more than they were helping. Viola was his Omega and touching her brought a sense of wholeness he'd never experienced prior to claiming her. To think of touching her as something to endure was just...wrong, completely false. When he had woken up in the middle of the night, finding the bed empty he had looked for her. She'd been so sucked into her research last night, she hadn't noticed him standing right behind her. Instead of telling her right away, he wanted to let the information seep in, knowing he would be much closer to normal a few hours later.

“I missed you,” she breathed against his shoulder and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

“You sounded pretty differently two days ago,” he murmured.

Viola let go of him enough to look into his eyes. “I _wanted_ to stop caring for you but I couldn't. I was just so hurt and lonely.”

“I'm so sorry, darling.” James pulled her back into a tight embrace and rocked her slightly.

“Why did you take them in the first place?”

He let out a deep sigh, thinking hard about his words before opening his mouth, “Because I didn't want to hurt you.”

“Well, that backfired,” she huffed and looked up into his eyes again. They looked heartbreakingly guilty and sorry but she continued, “You hurt me with this secrecy and cold distance but never before.”

“I did. I hurt you on your birthday with my stupid angry outburst even though I knew you did nothing.”

Viola almost snorted at that. That was the reason for all this?

“And you took the pills to stop being jealous or what?”

“I didn't want to leave bruises on you again. Viola, I'm unspeakably sorry that I took those pills. I wanted to achieve the complete opposite of how it ended eventually.”

She nodded slowly and suddenly a cheeky grin tugged on her lips.

“There are also nice bruises.”

James lifted his eyebrows in doubt. “Uhu?”

She nodded with a cat-like smirk. Slowly, she moved her hands up and down over his chest while standing up on her tip toes, burying her face in the crook of his neck. She started working on a hickey right under his left ear and heard him suck in a surprised little gasp.

“Oh, that kind of bruise,” he moaned throatily and let his hands wander over her soft curves freely. Viola snickered against his skin, never letting up the suction on his neck.

But it ended when she felt his hands on her shoulders pushing her back. Had she done something wrong?

“Not so high,” he told her in a raspy tone, “I can't show up in court with a hickey on my neck.”

Viola pouted her already pouty lips and traced the round neck opening of his shirt with her fingers.

“But I want to mark you as mine,” she whispered and fluttered her eyelashes at him. Her body had endured his absence for too long that it was putting even more effort in keeping him close now. James moved a step forward and trapped her between the kitchen counter and his body.

He looked deeply into her blue eyes and purred, “You're my Omega, my mate.”

Viola swallowed thickly and nodded, stroking her hands along his sides until she grabbed two handfuls of his butt.

“And you're mine. All of you. You got to mark me. Shouldn't it be my turn now? I know claiming you is out of question but allow me just a little love bite. I'll be gentle, I promise.”

“How do you even know how to make them? Dirty, little pajama parties in your school?” James asked with a smug smirk and a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Her smile faltered all of the sudden and he instantly knew he had said something wrong. Her hands let go of him and her whole body language screamed for him to comfort her.

“Viola, I'm sorry if I brought back any bad memories.”

“No, it's fine. Actually, I practiced hickeys with my best friend and roommate at Finewood.”

“You never talked about her,” James whispered.

Viola swallowed against the lump forming in her throat. “Her... her name was Cora. She was a Baby of the Hunt too.”

“Was she auctioned? I don't think I heard her name at the Omega meeting.”

“No, she wasn't auctioned,” she whispered with thick tears in her eyes and James immediately knew what she meant. He pulled her against his chest, closing his arms tightly around her sobbing frame. The overwhelming urge to purr for her overcame him but he bit his tongue. His head was a mess with the pills gone from his system now, making him feel like a horny, emotionally unstable teenager. If he purred now, he wouldn't be able to hold himself back. With or without her consent.

James was afraid of breaking her trust and hurting her in the one way he hadn't done before. His stupid question about school had killed every potential mood. Forcing it back would only some across as selfish.

“I’m here if you want to tell me,” he whispered into her ear and waited for her answer but was only met with her hands pushing him away gently.

“Let's just eat breakfast, okay?”

The omelet was perfect and he felt like a starving man, so he nodded and set up the coffee table in the living room. He told Viola to just sit down and relax while he made coffee for them.

Like so many times before she watched him over the backrest of the couch and let her eyes wander over his disheveled hair, his slightly grey morning stubble, and his burgundy Harvard Law sleeping shirt. He moved differently than over the last weeks. She loved that she had her mate back. Her chest stopped clenching when she thought about him. Suddenly it all felt light again, like she was home at last. Even if the memories of Cora had brought dark clouds up again. She brushed them aside, concentrating on him and him alone.

“You look like a cat,” he chuckled as he came over with two mugs and the French press, looking at her peeking over the backrest and staring at him.

“Meow,” she played along and smiled again. As soon as he sat, she snuggled back into his arms and thanked him with a small voice when he handed her a perfect cup of coffee. James turned on the TV but Viola couldn't say for the life of her what they were watching. Probably the news or something intellectual. All that mattered to her was his warmth, scent, and the closeness to him. With a little content sigh, she snuggled even closer and shut her eyes.

“Still tired?” he whispered and kissed the crown of her head.

“No, just happy.”

“I'll have to go swimming soon.”

Viola lifted her head immediately and stared at him with slight panic in her wide eyes. “Why?”

“Because I feel like exploding if I don't get rid of some of the pent up energy from the last weeks. I didn't swim enough so now I'm getting fat.”

She arched her eyebrows at him and glanced down to his stomach. Maybe he was getting a bit rounder but he had never been the washboard-sixpack-type of guy. It just wasn't like him.

“I like it,” Viola admitted and lay her hand over his slight belly.

“Well, I don't. And before I burst out of my suits, I’d rather swim some extra laps.”

Viola was still unhappy about the prospect of being even an inch away from him. “Can I come with you?”

“Do you have a swim suit?”

“No, but nice underwear,” she suggested and bit her lower lip.

“Darling, there could be someone walking in and see you in wet underwear. I'd rather not give our neighbors the wrong ideas. In the end I will have to fend them off with a baseball bat.”

“I'm afraid you see more in me than there is.”

James chuckled and let his eyes wander over her covered body, mentally freeing her curves from the layers of clothing.

“I've seen you naked. I know exactly what's there,” he rasped and let his eyes linger a bit longer on her soft breasts. The mood between them changed again, making the air sizzle with sexual tension. Her hand over his belly started moving, stroking up and down his chest until she became a bit bolder and reached for the hem of his shirt. She wanted to feel his skin under her hand, let her fingers dive into his dark chest hair and finally leave her kind of mark on him.

Viola leaned up and brushed her lips over his, not really a kiss but enough to make him react. He pulled her closer and kissed her properly. She leaned back, pulling him with her without breaking lip contact and wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

James found himself enveloped in her arms, with their tongues wrestling with each other. Her scent and her little moans drove him wild. As if her instincts were guiding her, she wrapped her legs around his hips, grinding her pelvis against his crotch. James slid his hands underneath her ass and pulled her even closer to him.

“Oh God,” she sighed against his lips. This was going to be her first time! Did she really want it to happen on the _white_ couch with the TV babbling in the background? Not really. She stopped kissing him back and thought hard how she could ask him to make it a bit more romantic for her. It wasn't that she didn't trust him, more that she didn't want him to turn back into the distant man she'd to suffer through the last weeks.

“I can feel you thinking,” James murmured and interrupted his kissing down her slender neck, “What's wrong, darling? Not in the mood all of the sudden?”

“What? No, no, no. I just...”

James let out a long breath and let his heavy head rest on her bosom. “I'll go swimming.”

Fuck, Viola thought when she saw him getting up and heading for the bedroom to get everything he needed for his exercise. She sat up on the couch and buried her face in her hands. Her heart was beating almost painfully hard in her chest.

Great, back to loneliness and preparing dinner that will never be touched by him. Viola started muttering curses under her breath so that she didn't hear his steps coming closer again. He leaned down and guided her head back before kissing her and stealing her breath away once again.

“Remember not to worry too much,” he whispered against her lips and lay his hand over the center of her chest, indicating the bond. She nodded, feeling slightly drowsy from this emotional roller coaster she was trapped in, and looked after him as he left.

James swam for an hour straight, ignoring the burning in his lungs and muscles. When he finished what seemed to be his 500th round in the pool, his lungs suddenly filled with her scent. Viola stood right in front of him, not in her underwear like he had secretly hoped though.

“Found a swimsuit?” he asked and gasped for air. Viola shook her head and knelt down in front of him.

“I wanted to be with you.”

James arched his eyebrows at her shy tone. He suddenly had a rather juvenile idea. With a quick move he pushed himself out of the water, grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the pool with him. Her surprised yelp was silenced by the splash of water. Viola didn't come back up to the surface immediately and James suddenly panicked. What if she couldn't swim?

He took a deep breath and dove down to pull her up with him to the surface. Once they were both up again and James wanted to catch his breath, Viola had other plans. She pressed her lips firmly to his, her tongue requesting entry with a tentative lick over his bottom lip.

He was more than happy to grant it. James pulled her over to the edge of the pool, never letting their lips lose contact. She tasted sweet and he loved it. He caged her between his chest and the border of the pool. Their legs brushed against each other under water.

Viola wanted to circle her thighs around his middle but didn't want to risk pulling him down. Instead she wrapped her arms around his neck to deepen the kiss even more. She loved feeling his muscles work underneath her fingers. Especially since she had to go without the closeness to him for way too long. Her heart was pounding, her lips tingling as they moved together with his. She wanted to feel more of him... everything of him, it shot through her mind and she couldn't hold back the deep moan that vibrated against his mouth.

James started pushing her harder against the tile wall and ground his hardening cock against her center. Should someone walk in on them, the water would hide his hard on sufficiently, at least that's what he thought.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly, this will be the last chapter for a while now. Uni is kicking my ass and I can't allow myself any distractions if I ever want to finish with my studies.  
> Again, this will not be the end of this story. I will continue with this but probably not for months. I want to thank every reader who is still interested in this work and me as an author. I really wish I had more time to devote to my writing but life isn't on my side with this one.


	19. Protection

A loud cough pulled them both back into the here and now. By the side of the pool stood an elderly gentlemen in swim trunks and gave them a displeased glare.

“No street clothes in the pool,” he recited the sign on the wall and shook his head as he waddled over to the lounge chairs to place his towel on it. James grinned like a teenager while Viola's face turned beet red.

“Let's get out of here,” he whispered against her cheek and placed a soft kiss on her lips before helping her out of the water. He quickly made his way to his own towel and used it to hide the telling bulge at the front of his trunks from their neighbor. They made their way into the elevator, dripping all over the marble floor, and started kissing again once the elevator doors had closed. James snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her tightly against him as his lips sought hers. Her giggle made his heart jump. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't remember ever feeling like this with any other woman in the past.

Viola was his fountain of youth, now that the pills were gone. He would never touch them again. Living with her and everything she could give him was worth taking the risk of a fight here or there.

“I love you,” he heard himself mumble against her lips and turned to stone immediately afterwards.

Viola broke the kiss and stared at him wide-eyed, just as surprised by his declaration as he was. The silence between them dragged on and on until the elevator had finally come to a halt and the floor underneath them was covered in a big puddle of pool water.

“I love you too,” Viola whispered and her face lit up like firework. James thought he had made a fool of himself, stumbling over his current, otherworldly happiness, but her words made his last doubts melt away instantly. He swept her up in his arms and carried her over to their apartment. She giggled and fiddled with the doorlock, but when it finally opened they immediately headed for the bedroom. It was time to take the next step.

James unceremoniously dropped her on their bed and wanted to crawl up over her body, but Viola stopped him.

“Let's get out of the wet clothes first before the bed is completely soaked,” she suggested and he really couldn't find any reason speaking against getting his beautiful mate naked as quickly as humanly possible. He helped her back to her feet and began pulling off her clothes until she suddenly stopped him again.

“James, I... You know, I've never-”

He furrowed his brows at her stuttering. Was she becoming nervous.

“Viola, if you don't want to do this, we can wait until you feel ready. I don't-”

“No, I want it,” she claimed and looked him straight in the eye, leaving no room for interpretation, “I just always imagined it to be a bit more... romantic.”

James raised his eyebrows, water still dripping from his black hair onto the dark hardwood floor. “Do you want me to check if we have some candles?”

He sounded like an idiot even in his own ears and took a breath to apologize but Viola cut him off with a kiss.

“No, just remember I'm not as experienced as you are.”

Viola reached for the hem of her sweater and pulled the wet material off and let it fall to the floor with a loud slosh. The white lace of her bra did nothing to hide her rosy, hard nipples. His mouth watered like he was a starving man and stripped naked as quickly as he could. They had met completely naked without any sense of shame about their bodies and he had lived without the warmth and softness she provided for too long now. But he couldn’t be mindless about this. They hadn’t talked about children yet. He didn’t want any.

* * *

 

Viola watched him standing before her stark naked and obviously aroused. She knew the technicalities of sex but not what it felt like. She had learned that it could hurt but not necessarily had to if she was ready to take him in. Her fingers were shaking when she opened her pants and slipped the clinging material down her legs. She was left in her sheer underwear while he was standing there like he had nothing to hide. And he didn’t, they didn’t. They loved each other, they were mates, and this simply couldn’t end badly, not after all that had already happened between them. Smiling broadly, Viola discarded the rest of her clothes and posed for him like a pinup model.

“Everything like you remember it?”

He shook his head and her heart suddenly throbbed. “What?”

“Much better,” he purred and the sound travelled straight between her legs. The wetness spread and filled the room with the unmistakingly sweet-musky smell of the primal need to be bred. Viola reached out to touch his belly, the one he was so concerned about, but that she really came to love on him.

James pulled her flush against his body and kissed her like he needed her to survive. His warm hands felt heavenly on her damp skin and she pressed herself against him even harder to get all of his warmth. Their bodies seemed to melt into each other. His scent engulfed her and made her feel dizzy. Her whole being ached for him.

“Take me,” she breathed against his lips and her mind shut off. The only thing governing her now was pure instinct. Not even during her heats, she had been this receptive to his subtle purr and intoxicating scent. Viola followed his guidance as he led her to the bed, still holding her tightly while groping her plump ass. She sat down and and scooted backwards on the mattress, biting her lip in anticipation as James crawled up the bed up to her flushed face. With one hand he propped up his upper body while using his other to draw circles around her achingly hard nipples.

“Stop teasing me,” she whispered and cradled his face to pull him down for another long kiss. His cock rested on her thigh, leaking burning hot precum. No wonder they called Alphas hot, she thought and breathed a short laugh.

“What?” he asked and kissed down her neck. He licked her claiming mark on her shoulder and sent shivers down her spine, causing her toes to curl.

“I’m just happy,” she answered with a wide smile. She weaved her hands through his silky hair and purred her approval as he kissed his way further down her tingling body. Before he actually reached her pussy though, he stopped with a wicked grin and only pressed his lips on her hip bones and reached across her into his nightstand to get something that looked like a condom. Viola furrowed her brows and watched him rip it open before rolling it down his throbbing boner.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t want to risk anything,” he replied with a smile curving his lips. He didn’t seem to notice her deepening frown and the way her arousal in her scent ebbed away and was slowly replaced with a trace of suspicion.

“Why? Do you think I have a STD or something?” she snapped and he finally saw her angry expression.

“No, of course not,” James chuckled and kissed her again before he broke her heart with one small sentence, “I just don’t want children, that’s all.”  
Viola was sure she had misheard and tried to come up with something that sounded similar but meant something completely different. He couldn’t actually have said that. Viola had seen him act around children before and he was fantastic. Well, one child and she had been the victim of abuse but still…

“What did you just say?” she asked as he was already kissing his path downwards again.

“Huh?”

“I think, I didn’t hear you right. You sounded like you said you didn’t want children with me,” Viola said and noticed the tremor in her voice, hoping she would make him contradict her with a chuckle and a shake of his head, but he nodded and rested his chin right under her belly button.

She used her knees to push him off her and used the blanket to cover herself as she sat up with an incredible expression. “What?”

* * *

 

James needed a moment to pump back the blood into his brain before he could actually have a conversation with her now. What was happening here?

“What ‘what’?”

“Why don’t you want children? Why did you claim me if you don't want a mate and a family?” she asked and sounded more hurt than angry, though her eyes shot daggers. Hot boiling anger rose inside her over his matter of factly sounding tone.

James sighed, feeling too old for this kind of fight. Shouldn’t it be obvious to her that he would be a crappy father? He was hardly ever home before 7 p.m., he wasn’t very patient and obviously had some anger problems, and knowing what happened to children every day somewhere in the city was the best contraception there was.

“Are you serious?” he asked her back.

“I want a baby, a family. With you,” Viola claimed and looked absolutely serious.

“I don't,” he replied and couldn’t keep from huffing a laugh. “Have you checked on our relationship lately? Do you really want to add kids to it?

“Yes, I love you and I want-”

“Yeah, a family with me, I got that,” he hissed and let his head hang, “Viola, -”

James shut up when he saw tears rim her lower lashes. No, this should’ve been fun and not her ending up in tears again. He reached out his hand in an attempt to comfort her, but she bolted up and rushed out of the bed before he could even touch her.

“Then why did you claim me, if you didn't want a mate or a family in the first place?”

“Oh, would you’ve rather stayed in the Hunt?” James asked and lifted both eyebrows almost up to his hairline. He had saved her from rapists and a terrible life as a living sex toy and that’s how she thanked him?

“At least the other Alphas would've known what to do with me! I would already be pregnant, if you hadn't forced this bond onto me!”

James curled his hands into tight fists around the bed spread. This had to be a fucking joke. He rarely descended into vulgar insults but his sudden anger and the emotional turmoil brewing in his chest drove him to it, “If you are so unhappy, you ungrateful bitch, then go! Leave and get bred if that's what you want! But don’t come back crying!”

Viola stood in the middle of the bedroom with wide eyes. Obviously surprised by the hateful words she would’ve never expected from him. A few seconds went by in absolute silence before her eyes filled with thick tears. Without saying another word, she left the room and fled into the guest room. She threw the door shut and only opened it again when Sawyer scratched to request entry.

James needed a few minutes to calm down again. What the fuck had just happened? He sat up leaning against the bed’s headboard and rubbed the center of his chest. He glanced at the door across the hallway and contemplated reasoning with her but not until that useless boner was gone again. Otherwise it would only look like he was after her for his pleasure. His chest felt tight and constricting, and he knew she was crying her eyes out. A family had never been part of his life planning. He had called their relationship unfulfilling on her side before and he realized once again that he should’ve never claimed her in the first place. James slid deeper into the pillows with a heavy sigh and covered his face.

She was a young Omega who was in the prime of her fertility. It was only natural for her to want a family with her mate, he told himself but whenever he thought about having children, he remembered all those big sad eyes he was faced with in his job. Raped girls and molested boys, their lives destroyed for another person’s perversion. He wouldn’t be able to look at their child should it ever happen to them too. He wasn’t meant to become a father. For the first time cutting their bond came to his mind. It would set her free and he was willing to take the risk if she asked him to. What was a 15% mortality rate compared to a life stuck with the wrong mate?

* * *

 

Viola bit into her pillow to keep from crying out the pain that twisted her heart and tried to strangle her to death. He couldn’t actually mean it! There was no way this was actually his opinion. He had claimed her for a reason. He had confessed his love to her only half an hour ago. They had been happy.

Sawyer rested her big head on her owner’s hip and sighed heavily. She was helpless, confronted with a distressed Omega and no idea what had hurt her so much. Viola had finally hit rock bottom. She had been through so much suffering and whenever she thought it would go uphill again, she only slipped and fell even deeper into her personal hell. She loved him but whenever she saw Reba and heard her talking about her cute twins, she held onto the hope that she would have kids of her own too. They would plan playdates for their children, and she couldn’t wait to simply watch James with their babies when he would read them bedtime stories.

All those dreams had been crushed with a single sentence made up of five little, but meaningful words. Viola cried harder into the soft pillows until her lungs burned. She needed to speak with someone who understood her and could give her more than just a sympathetic look.

She stood up and quickly dressed herself with shaking hands. Without giving James any chance to speak with her, she left the apartment and headed straight to Reba’s place. She would be able to help her, at least that’s what Viola lay all her hopes upon.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovely readers,
> 
> I hereby end my hiatus and return to the irregular uploading schedule I will continue from now on. Two weeks ago (on my 24th birthday) I turned back to the story and I'm sorry it took me so long to upload this chapter. Somehow my editor isn't answering my mails :( So this chapter is "unedited" but I hope it's still good enough. Please tell me what you think and I feel like it's time to look for a second/another editor. Sorry for the long wait, again.


	20. Breaking up, breaking down

**** Viola had Sawyer with her and it turned out to be quite a challenge to find a taxi that would take them both to their destination. Once there, she suddenly doubted her decision. She should’ve called ahead to make sure they were even home and not visiting his sister or even hers in London.

Viola had forgotten her smart phone at home, so calling ahead now was not an option, so she simply rang the doorbell and let out a deep sigh of relief when the door buzzed open. Her hands were sweaty as she stepped into the elevator and fiddled with Sawyer’s leash. James was probably trying to call her or had already noticed she had left him without any way of reaching her. If he knew her at all, he would know where she was. But then again, she had thought she’d known him and yet he had managed to teach her he was actually a complete stranger to her.

The bright “bing” of the elevator and the soft scratching of the doors sliding open, woke her from her thoughts. Sawyer’s wagging tail whacked her leg when she recognized Reba standing before them.

“Viola, what happened?”

The concern in Reba’s voice broke her stoic veneer. Viola began sobbing and collapsed into her friend’s arms, letting go of the dog’s leash and following Reba who gently led her towards the couch. Reba’s deep purring helped her calm herself, allowing the affectionate back rubbing to stem her tears entirely.

“So, what happened?” Reba asked and kept rubbing her friend’s back.

“James doesn’t want a family.”

Reba stilled for a moment, blinking her eyes, clearly surprised by this new development.

“Maybe you just misinterpreted him?” she asked, her face a mix of sympathy and hopefulness. Viola shook her head. He had left absolutely no room for interpretation.

“His exact words were ''I don't want children''. Where did I misinterpret him?” She looked down to Sawyer's heavy head laying back on her lap again. She had her eyes closed already and thoroughly enjoyed the way Viola played with her floppy ears.

“Maybe I will get a second dog or Sawyer might like a cat as a roommate,” Viola murmured designated. Her whole life was a mess. Nothing worked out the way it should've; not her childhood, not her Claiming, and not the bond with her mate.

“And now you left him?”

Viola almost choked. NO! She loved James. He saved her, gave her a home and place to be herself.

Reba saw the shock on her face and quickly added, “So I take that as a no. I'm not saying you should pack your things and leave him, but you're so young and dooming yourself to a childless life because he doesn't want them is just not fair. You deserve to have a family.”

She ran her hands over her back again, feeling her tense up at the thought of actually leaving him.

“But... but he saved me,” Viola stammered and fresh tears threatened to fall again.

“Yes, he did, but he also claimed you without your consent and forced you into a life without such an important part of your nature. I had to fight hard for my happiness but Kristján never actually said he didn't want children, quite the opposite actually. You did not want this and he didn't ask you, if you wanted to live like this.”

Viola chewed the inside of her cheek and thought hard. She knew Reba was right in a way but the thought of leaving her mate caused her to shiver.

“I don't want you to be miserable for the rest of your life, Viola. I want you to be happy and if it's not possible with James, then maybe it would be wiser to go now before you waste more time with him.”

Had she wasted her time? Had she devoted too much time on the wrong person?

Viola  stood up and paced, thinking. After it seemed to Reba that she had come to a decision Viola  said her goodbye in a state of trance and couldn't remember how she got home by the time she stood in their living room still in shoes and jacket. Sawyer dragged her leash behind her on her way to the water bowl and back to her stone-faced owner.

Viola replayed the things Reba had said over and over in her head. Wasted years. Viola was only nineteen but felt like a woman, who had already outlived her time on this planet. She was an old ghost in a young body, a body that served no use. James didn't want children with her.  Omegas had only one goal, to be bred. To give birth to babies that would be taken away so they could be bred again if they ended up in the Hunt, or if mated they were to raise their children for their mate. All those child care classes, infant development classes, first aid for infants and children, Violas whole education was based on giving birth and they were lost on her if she stayed with him.

 

She didn't hear James call her name when he entered the living space. She was too occupied with keeping her hopeless tears at bay. When he smelled the cold sadness in the air, he stopped in his tracks. For the last hour he had felt her distress but noticing it was sadness made it almost scary. He didn't want her to be anything but happy and content despite their little quarrels.

James called out her name once more, softer than before, and walked closer to her with careful steps. He never moved his eyes from her blank face. To him she looked like she was just buried deeply in her thoughts. Until he noticed the thick tears that started to rim her eyes. 

He carefully placed his hand on her shoulder and was at a loss. James wouldn’t back down from his opinion regarding children and the knowledge that he hurt her with it was hurting him, like a sawing on his bones. She sucked in a sharp breath and blinked a few times, still not focusing on him but staring into the void.

“Where were you? I was trying to call you,” he told her softly but received no answer, “Darling, please talk to me.”

After a few seconds Viola finally moved her eyes to look at him and the first tear fell from her cheeks.

“Does your offer with the apartment of my own still stand?” she whispered, not talking any louder out of fear her voice would break at every second word. James needed a moment to comprehend what she was talking about there.

He swallowed thickly, “Yes.”

Viola let out a shuddering breath and cast her eyes down to his hands. They were so warm even through the material of her jacket; he was so close and yet so far. Her whole body shook from the sobs she suppressed and he simply looked at her like she had never meant anything to him.

“Why do you hurt me so much?” she whispered, desperate for an answer as silent tears rolled down her pale cheeks. She took a step back, out of his reach and wiped her cheeks dry with a shaking hand as he obviously wouldn’t want to comfort her.

“I don’t want to, Viola, but I seem to end up doing it no matter what. Can’t you understand me too?” James asked with furrowed brows. He searched her puffy, red eyes for an answer. He knew he didn't want to hear it but it had to be said to clear the air of this uncertainty.

She dropped her gaze to her feet and took a deep breath. “I don't want to look back at my life and regret it.” 

“And you would regret a life  _ with just me _ ?”

Viola shook her head and took a deep breath before she replied, “I would regret a life without children.”

She didn't dare look at him to see his reaction. Viola already knew that he was staring at her with a mixture of suppressed anger and disappointment right now. The pulsing in her chest, completely out of tune with her own aching heartbeat was already telling her everything she needed to know.

“Why won't you understand me?” he asked again, sharper this time.

“Because it's not normal. My whole life was directed to having a mate and children to take care of.”

She moved back towards him and reached for his hands, but he pulled them away before she could touch him. His anger filled the air surrounding them and Sawyer watched them attentively, ready to intervene for her owner’s protection if need be.

“You only see yourself in this picture. What about the people around us? What about the things we can't control, huh?”

“What?” Viola made another step towards him, but he kept up the distance between them, “What are you talking about?”

“I'm talking about what I see every day at work. Children who have their lives destroyed by people who used them, even though their parents did  _ everything _ right. Still, their children will never be as happy and carefree as their friends.”

“Not all children, James. Not all children get hurt.”

He let out an irritated sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose as he shook his head.

“You just don't see them like I do. Every day, I see them in hospitals, in interview rooms, frightened and hurting.”

“Then maybe you should change departments,” Viola snapped and crossed her arms over her chest, anger now slowly replacing her sadness and despair, “You only see the victims, not the happiness thousands of children bring and feel.”

“I can't just change my job, Viola!” he shouted and Sawyer started growling threateningly.

“Do you want a family with me?” Viola asked him directly although she already knew his answer. She just needed to hear it one more time to let him drive the last nail into the coffin of their relationship. Her chest felt like it would implode at any moment.

“No.”

That's it. Heavy tears rose in her eyes as she looked down to the rings he had given her at the beginning. They stopped being mated this second. With shaking fingers and a rock hard lump in her throat, she slid the rings from her left hand, her breath hitching as she tried to suppress her sobs.

* * *

 

James tried to calm down. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. The air in the room was sizzling with her discontent and his seething irritation. Everything in him told him to hold her and make the thudding in his chest finally stop.

Just as he was about to let out another sigh and suggest they talk about this in the morning, he felt her hand on his. Why was she handing him her engagement and wedding rings? James knew from the tears in her eyes and the shaky breath what this meant. Viola swallowed hard against her tears and looked into his eyes one last time before she grabbed her handbag and Sawyer’s leash.

“Good bye, James,” she whispered and he felt his heart clench painfully tight when he saw her leaving. He should've seen it coming.

James stared down at the sparkling rings in his hand, dumbstruck.

Good bye? Was she actually leaving him? After all they went through already? Funny how he had been the one thinking about breaking the bond, but when she actually, physically walked away from him, he was the one surprised. James sank down on the couch and could feel his whole body tense up. This wasn't right! He wasn't supposed to be alone, without her, without his mate.

Just as James bolted up from the couch to talk to her once again, he heard the entrance door fall into the lock. She was gone. Something inside him shattered.

* * *

 

Viola turned around and prayed with every step she took that he would stop her and remind her that she belonged to him and that she couldn't go. Maybe he would give in and say that they would have a family together. But as so often, he’d stayed silent.

Viola managed to muffle her cries long enough to give the taxi driver Reba's address. Sawyer tried as hard as she could to comfort her owner but couldn't help much. The driver looked into the rear view mirror and handed her a pack of tissues over his shoulder.

“Thank you,” she whispered between her hiccups and blew her nose. She hurt like hell and wanted nothing more than to go back home and crash into James' arms. He was her mate and love. But now everything was over. She massaged the empty spot on her ring finger and felt nausea rise from her stomach. Viola cried harder until the taxi finally reached Reba's home.

“I’m so sorry, Viola.” Reba told her first thing when the elevator doors opened for her once again. Viola couldn't say a single word. All that came out when she opened her mouth were heart-wrenching sobs right before she collapsed into her friend's arms the second time today.

Kristján heard her from his office and went to check what was going on. Thankfully, the twins were already asleep so they didn't witness this image or smelled the nauseating distress lingering in the air. He looked at Reba for an explanation but was only met with a shake of her head. Kristján returned into his office, knowing he couldn't help anyway, and contemplated calling Viola's Alpha to ask him what had happened.

“I-I asked him a-and he said n-no again,” Viola cried into the other Omega's shoulder. Reba stroked her back up and down, trying to soothe her as best as one could.

“And now you left him?”

Viola nodded and bit her lower lip to keep from crying out her pain. Reba guided her over to the couch and unleashed Sawyer so she could stroll around a bit and visit Kristján if she wanted to.

It took Viola almost an hour of bursting out in new tears just after the old ones had hardly dried before she could breathe properly again.

“He didn't even try to stop me when I left the apartment,” she whispered and sniveled.

“Maybe he was just shocked.”

“Maybe he simply doesn't care about me, about the bond, about... us.”

Reba rubbed Viola's arms up and down but said nothing. She hurt for her friend and even more so because she couldn't help her.

After a few minutes of heavy silence between the two Omegas, Kristján and Sawyer entered the living room. He gave Viola a sympathetic look and sat down on the armrest of the couch.

“I didn't mean to eavesdrop but as an Alpha I can tell you that you always care about your mate, Viola.”

Reba shot him a hard glare but he had heard her talking to her earlier, suggesting she should leave him. He had almost intervened back then already, but he had hoped Viola wouldn’t be foolish enough to actually listen to her. Now she was here and hurt even more than before.

In that light it didn't surprise that he held the phone in his hands and asked, “Do you want me to tell him that you're here, so he won't worry about you?”

Viola chewed the inside of her cheek before she nodded slightly. He searched for her number in the contacts and had to wait five dial tones until James finally answered the phone.

“Hello, this is Kristján Ness. I'm calling to inform you that Viola is here and well.”

He waited for an answer but was only met with silence.

“Just so that you don't worry, Mr. Scaife,” he tried again.

“Thank you,” James said almost dryly, “I'll bring her some of her clothes tomorrow and already contacted an estate agent. Does she want a house or an apartment?”

His rational and cold voice even gave Kristján the creeps.

“Um.” He covered the speaker of his phone and asked Viola his question. She was more than taken aback.

“A-an apartment, please.”

Kristján forwarded her wish and wanted to ask James if he didn't want to come here to sort things out but as soon as he had the information he needed, James hung up. No good bye, thank you, or tell her I’m sorry. No, just the penetrating dial tone.

Viola looked at him expectedly, hoping that James wanted her to come home, no matter his question. But Kristján's blue eyes only dipped to the side to avoid hers. Enough of an answer for her. Viola burst out into new tears and buried her face in her shaking hands. It was over. She was alone. The only reminder that James had ever been there was the pain in her chest. Viola couldn't ignore the burning in her lungs and squeezing vice around her heart.

Reba did her best to comfort her. Yet, her tender touches and soft humming mended Viola's suffering as little as Sawyer's affectionate licks on Viola's hand.

Kristján suddenly saw movement in the corner of his eye and found Lúisa and Matthew sitting on the upper end of the stairs. They watched the scene in the living room with big eyes. Immediately, Kristján was up and hurried to his children to bring them back to bed. They had never seen an Omega in distress before. He had made it his personal goal to keep Reba as far away from tears as possible. And now James had messed it up in his stead.

He picked up the twins and told them that Viola was hurting because she had fallen down the stairs. It was easier to tell them a lie they could understand then try to explain them the truth at their young age.

Viola was offered the guest room but refused. She spent the night on the couch, not sleeping, only staring out if the high windows and stroking Sawyer absent-mindedly until the sun rose again.

 

It wasn't until 8 a.m. that she heard movement from upstairs. Kristján had always been an early riser and today was no different. The terrace door stood wide open when he descended the stairs into the open living space. Through the tall windows he saw Viola leaning against the high banister, Sawyer as always dutifully by her side.

“Good morning,” he greeted her and stepped out on the terrace as well. Viola looked over her shoulder at him and managed the weak imitation of a smile.

“How did you sleep?”

“Not at all,” she replied and looked back down to the city below. Viola remembered the first time she had seen it after waking up as James' mate the morning after the Hunt. Kristján leaned against the banister next to her and let out a long sigh.

“I don't like being involved in other people's relationships because my own was a trainwreck before we started over again and had the twins. But I think that Reba was a bit too forward when it came to your relationship.”

Viola furrowed her brows and turned her head to him as he continued, “I don't know you or your mate enough to allow myself a verdict. But as an Alpha with a mate, I can tell you that no Alpha can let go of his mate as easily as it seems with him right now. I can tell you that I would be shattered, if Reba decided to go and take the children with her.”

“No children I could take from James,” Viola whispered and swallowed thickly. And she would never have children with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A thousand thanks to my new editor WingedWolfAlari who offered her help so generously and made sure the story will be continued in the quality you all know by now.


	21. Mysterious Letter

**** James ignored the pounding in his chest as he threw her clothes in a suitcase he would drop off at Reba’s address on his way to work. He knew the houses in that part of Flint usually were staffed with a doorman, so he wouldn’t have to smell her at all. It was done within a few minutes. A couple sentences exchanged with the elderly gentleman guarding the door and he was already out of the building again.

In his office, he tried to concentrate on the files in front of him but the throbbing inside his chest and the thudding pain behind his eyes were making it impossible. With a long groan he leaned back in his chair, threw his pen across the desk, and pressed the balls of his hands against his hurting eyeballs. Why couldn't she understand?

She had hardly made it out of the Hunt and only because he had bend and twisted the rules as much as he could. He was still waiting for some governmental agents with dark sunglasses in black suits to knock on his door and hold up a pair of cuffs to arrest him rape... although he had never actually touched her. But technically, a forced bonding, as he’d forced on Viola was considered rape in criminal law. He had prosecuted cases like this himself. Yet, had he just fucked and impregnated her during the Hunt, he would’ve played by the twisted rules of his outdated tradition and nobody would’ve bet an eye. Only that James wouldn’t have been able to look at himself in the mirror after that.

He’d thought forcing a claim on her and trying to make a go of it was the right thing to do. Why couldn't she see that he’d given her a chance at a better life, a choice on when to have sex, even if the sex never lead to children. James just couldn't have a family with all the things he saw in court everyday. He knew he shouldn't, but he brought all the images and voices of crying children and abused victims home with him every night.

But he couldn't think of that now. He had court today and couldn't fail just because he had some personal problems at home. Today was the first day of Eric Turner’s trial. He would put his own brother in jail for raping his PO. Sometimes life could be cruel. James fought even harder than usual in court, glared at Eric, was surprised that their father wasn’t there for moral support, and jumped up for every chance he got to object at the defense’s strategy, letting nothing slide. He wanted the jury to know what Eric Turner had done to his PO, how he had hurt as he molested her. How she had begged him to stop over and over again, how he had hit her in the face telling her to shut up, forcing her to get down on her knees in front of him “like the bitch she was”.

The victim was 34 years old but looked much younger than that, more like Viola’s age. James felt so disgusted that he almost contemplated just strangling his half-brother. Well, now that Viola had left him, what else did he have to live for? 

But none of that happened today. The judge seemed disinterested in the trial until he finally called a recess at noon. The trial was scheduled to continue tomorrow morning and had been scheduled for the whole day, which, hopefully, wouldn't be needed. Eric was guilty as hell and the jury would have to be blind if they came back with any other verdict.

James was still angry and hated... everything and most of all himself by the time he entered his office and hoped lunch had already been ordered. 

His secretary eyed him with an arched eyebrow but James ignored the question in her eyes and slammed his office door shut behind him. He didn't want to be disturbed but life hated him today, so shortly after he had slumped down in his chair, the door was opened again.

“Detective Hanson called an hour ago.”

“Uh huh?” he murmured, tugging his crooked, constricting tie looser, “and what did she want?”

“Looks like they have a new case for you. She said she would be busy today but she would come by tomorrow after court.”

So again he would work after hours when he would rather stay home and spend time with... Viola. Who was he fooling? He was back to an empty apartment and her scent would disappear sooner or later, eventually.

“Alright, “ he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to soothe the rising headache. His secretary nodded quietly and handed her boss a few notes and a brown envelope. James scanned through the notes, all phone calls he would have to return as soon as possible, but he couldn't bring himself to care anymore. The envelope on the other hand sparked his interest.

“What's this?”

“I don't know, Mr. Scaife. It was brought up two hours ago, for your eyes only.”

James nodded slowly and motioned his secretary to leave him alone again. He opened the sturdy envelope and glanced inside. His life as an ADA had made him suspicious even though all the mail sent here had to go through x-rays and had to be cleared by the on-duty IED dog before it even came close to him. 

There were a few pages and black and white photographs in it, showing a beautiful girl with big, sad eyes and pitch black hair. Somehow she seemed familiar but James couldn't remember where he had seen her before. Her features screamed Omega and the sadness in her eyes was almost touchable through the smooth surface of the photograph. Buried in thought, he traced a finger along her jawline, not wanting to know the reason for the sadness or why he was currently looking at a picture of her.

The papers in the envelope were one page of an old police report and the other a handwritten note. The report was filled out only half halfheartedly.

Name: Kemp, Victoria

Crime: Homicide

Leads: None

Witnesses: None

Not even an autopsy report was added to the papers in his hand.

“Victoria Kemp,” he murmured. The name actually rang a distant bell. Where the fuck had he heard that name before?

He pulled out the letter but only touched it at the edges for later fingerprint dusting. There were only a couple of lines on it, typed with an ordinary computer but using a font that matched the letters on the old police report.

_ Meet me at 3 pm at 221 Canal Rd. if you want to give her justice. You won't regret it. I have valuable information on her murder. _

This sounded shady but also interesting and like something that could distract him from the fact that his devoted mate had left him 17 hours ago. He checked his watch for the time and furrowed his brow. 1:58 pm. Actually 16 hours and 58 minutes ago. James opened his notebook and searched the open cases for the victim's name. But even before he opened the digital police report archive he knew who the victim was. 

She was one of the reasons he had become an ADA in the first place. Her murder had been brutal and the case was still unresolved. It had been discussed in law school as an example for what the ugly sides of the job could look like. Victoria had been a Baby of the Hunt, auctioned off to a wealthy Alpha and had never been seen again until her mutilated and abused body had been found floating in the Bond River. She had been raped, beaten and eventually gutted like a Christmas goose. It was hard to tell which of her organs had been removed before she had been dumped and which had been eaten by crabs and fish post mortem.

James had been an ADA for 15 years now and this case had already been cold when he had first heard about the gruesome things that had happened to her. He remembered the stupid comments from his fellow students about how they would've given their left arm for a night with her. He’d despised these morons and disgustingly vain idiots. Now he was fighting them in court and found incredible satisfaction in beating them. Every single time. If it didn't put the victim through too much stress, he rarely allowed a plea bargain just so he could -metaphorically- rip them a new one in front of the judge and jury.

James closed his notebook again and grabbed his coat on the way out. Maybe he could actually start something good, something big and lasting today. He told his secretary that he would be out for the rest of the day and left before he could say another word.

A few minutes later he typed in the address into his navigation system and frowned. Why on earth was his mysterious witness asking to meet him in one of the deserted warehouse sites of Flint? Then again, maybe he should've asked himself that earlier. A brown envelope, no sender, not even a name under the typed letter.

James started his car anyway and drove off to the meeting point. The streets were fairly empty, so he arrived shortly before 3 pm. Now all he needed was a statement or evidence worth his time. He exited his car and looked around the place. Empty warehouses with blind windows, blacked out from years of grime, and graffiti all over the almost black brick walls. On the other side of the street he could hear the soft splashing of the Bond River hitting the quay wall. Seals barked in the distance as a container ship slowly floated past them. James wondered if anyone else was here at all. Junky or homeless person? With his custom-tailored suit and $300 shoes he stood out like a whore in church in this part of town.

The warehouse was big and had dozens of corners someone could hide in to surprise him from behind. Maybe the author of the letter was already here watching him or maybe this wasn't the right address after all? It seemed odd that his was the only car around. Strange.  

* * *

 

Viola couldn’t believe James had just dropped off her suitcase in the foyer and hadn't even had the guts to give them to her personally. He was a bigger coward than she had expected. Or maybe he just wanted to punish her for leaving. His scent was clinging to her clothes and she soon noticed that he had forgotten to pack her underwear. Maybe he was waiting for her to pick them up and had forgotten them on purpose. 

“I don’t think so,” Reba said when Viola told her about her suspicion.

“I think, it can’t hurt to check,” Kristján suggested and offered to drive her. Reba sent him another glare when Viola thanked him and headed for the elevator. She was still hoping.

Kristján didn’t speak on their way through the 3 pm traffic while Viola twisted and turned her keys nervously. There was hope, no doubt about it. They were mates and that meant they could get through anything as long as they really wanted it. Fate had brought them together and she refused to believe that it would simply rip that happiness she had felt in the beginning away from her again so ruthlessly.

But her heart cracked when she found the apartment empty. Kristján had stayed downstairs and said he would wait 15 minutes before he would drive home again. It would be enough time to pick up her missing clothes and phone if he wasn’t there and in case of a fight, he was certain it wouldn’t take her longer than 15 minutes to rush out of the building again.

Viola made sure to check every room for something like a note from James, but he let her down once again. With a crumbling heart, she packed up her underwear in a simple duffel bag and was just about to leave again when the phone rang.


	22. Shot wound

**** James checked his phone once more if he really was at the right address. Canal Road 221. No, he was there. But where was the ominous witness he had been promised?

With a tired sigh , he chose to wait for a few more minutes to make sure nobody would show up before returning to his office. Going home wasn't really an option today. Maybe he would sleep on the couch in his office tonight. He would rather not come home to find the apartment completely empty with her scent slowly fading with her clothes now gone.

James strolled around the warehouse  site in the middle of the almost abandoned part of town. Maybe he should've asked for a police escort to this dubious meeting. But it was too late now and it seemed like it would've been unnecessary anyway. James  eventually found himself facing the back wall of a dead end and decided to leave this god forsaken place when he suddenly heard steps on the wet concrete behind him.

As he turned around, he stared into the barrel of a gun. Instinctively, James wanted to move away from it and the man holding the weapon but he only bumped into a couple of trash cans behind him.

“Are you still so glib, counselor?” the man sneered, his hand and the gun in it shaking. David Turner, his other half-brother, glared at him with so much hatred in his eyes, that James could almost see the fires of hell in them. He slowly lifted his hands, not trying to grab the gun but in an attempt to show he didn’t mean any trouble.

“Threatening an ADA is a felony. Drop the gun and I will forget this ever happened.”

James tried to stay calm but his trembling voice betrayed him. David shook his head with a huff.

“You’re destroying my family. You deserve to die. My brother is innocent but you put him on trial. My mum had a heart attack last night, you fucker! She couldn’t bear the thought of her oldest son in jail. You KILLED her, you bastard!”

James' heart pounded in his chest like a steam hammer. It seemed to stop when David wordlessly pulled the trigger and shot.

At first the only result was a loud bang echoing from the high and dirty brick walls around them. The following seconds felt like they were playing in slow motion. A burning pain started in the center of James' stomach and radiated from there into the corners of his body. Something hot dampened his shirt and trickled down the skin on his belly. In a stupor he brought his hand to the source of the pain and looked down to his blood covered fingertips.

He was bleeding. David had shot him. Shot him in the stomach. His thoughts came slowly, only one at a time as to not overwhelm him self .

James lifted his gaze to his brother, seeing his hateful grimace turn into an expression of utter shock.  It was a lmost as if he hadn't expected to hit him when pointing a gun at him and pulling the trigger, only a few feet away from his victim. David lowered the gun and stared at the darkening patch around the penetration wound in the middle of James' torso. With stumbling steps he fled.

James' knees gave in and he collapsed on the grimy ground. He leaned against the dented metal trash cans, holding his left hand tightly over the wound, gaping and bleeding out in the rhythm of his galloping heartbeat.

He started to feel cold so quickly. With some difficulty James managed to pull his coat tighter around him without letting up the pressure on the pulsing wound. He would die here. James was sure of that. He would die in this shabby little alley, surrounded by trash, the left-overs from some junkies, and rats sitting in the corners and looking at him with their small, black button eyes waiting for their meal.

The metaphorical flashing of his life in the moment of his death started and ended with one image, Viola's face.

The hurt in her green eyes was even worse than the pain he was feeling now. The last words he had said to her had been spoken in anger. He had never wanted her to feel bad or to leave him. She meant so much to him. His feet started to feel numb, the puddle of dark red blood slowly got bigger and bigger around him.

James let out a shaky breath as the stupidity of his behavior really started to sink in. He had wasted so much time, had pushed so many people away, had hurt his mate just because he had been too proud or too childish to apologize.

With blood covered, sticky hands, James searched the pockets of his coat for his smart phone. His fingers left wet smears on the screen as he scanned through his contacts for his home number. He could call an ambulance and see if they made it here in time or he could use what time he had left to try and call Viola to say sorry. Maybe he could mend a few things before he bled out like a pig.

James began to lose the feeling in his fingers as he brought the phone up to his ear. With every ring the lump in his throat grew harder.

“Please be home, please,” he whispered like a prayer, his left hand still pressing down on the wound. He had forgotten Viola had no reason to be home anymore, not after last night, but the hope was still there. James felt tired but he couldn't sleep! Not without hearing her voice one last time. But it didn't seem like she was she home. He had lost her for good.

Frustration and anger boiled up in his chest and tears started prickling in his eyes. He would die in this fucking trash pile and would never be able to tell Viola that he loved her and that he was sorry for everything ; f rom forcing the bond on her to all the mean things he had shouted at her and the pain he had caused.

“Hello?” Her voice almost seemed like a trick his dying mind played on him but the dial tone had indeed stopped.

“Viola?” James' voice cracked. She didn't say something for a moment or two and he feared she had simply hung up again.

“I was just about to leave. You forgot to pack my underwear. I'll be gone when you come home,” she said in a harsh tone. She sounded like she had cried again, but there was also a trace of anger in her words.

“P-please, don't go. I was stupid. This fight was stupid. I don't want you to leave.”

“All of the sudden,” Viola snapped. James closed his eyes and imagined her standing in the kitchen with her arms crossed as best as she could while holding the phone to her ear.

“Please, just don't leave,” he choked out, the pain from his stomach wound burning through his entire body now, talking and breathing felt like inhaling nails. There was silence on her side of the line for a few agonizingly long seconds before she spoke again.

“You sound strange. Are you okay?”

The concern in her voice, this sudden, unexpected change, knocked the air out of his hurting lungs. A single tear rolled down his cheek. He couldn't tell her he was dying. But letting her find out when he was already gone was cowardly.

“I ...” He looked down at himself. His shirt once a crisp white was almost completely red by now. His arms grew heavy and tired. His legs were lifeless by now. Suddenly he asked himself if she felt what was happening to him through their bond. James sucked in a shaky breath and felt another tear roll down his pale, slightly gray cheek.

“James, what's wrong?”

“I was shot,” he whispered, she gasped shocked.

“What?” Viola asked with a small voice. “Where … In which hospital are you? I'll come to you immediately.”

“No hospital.” Talking was getting severely harder with every heartbeat that pumped the blood out of his body and onto the dirty concrete. Viola started crying. He could hear his own shallow gasps against the speaker.

“I didn't want to risk not speaking with you if the ambulance didn't make it in time. I didn't want our last words to be spoken in anger.”

“I'm so sorry, James,” she sobbed and his chest clenched by the sound of it.

“No, I am. You did nothing wrong.”

“I'm gonna call an ambulance. Where are you?”

He looked down to his wound, hardly able to keep his heavy eyelids from falling shut.

“Too late.” His speech started to slur like he was drunk but he needed to tell her that he loved her at least one last time. He needed to.

James filled his lungs one last time with air. His lips formed the words but his voice quit its service in the last, most important moment. All the arguments in court, all the words he had wasted his breath with were a mockery in this light.

“I love you, James.”

The phone slid from his hand and onto the ground. He wanted to return the declaration but his mouth wouldn't work anymore.

“James? James! JAMES!” The phone was crying next to him. He had failed her again. The most important thing he had wanted to give her was again something he hadn't been able to give it to her. Even if they hadn't argued and had tried for a baby, he wouldn't have seen their child being born, growing up, living. All the fights for nothing. Completely worthless and unimportant in the light of his nearing death.

As if through a thick wool blanket, James could hear Viola's voice. The words morphed into an indistinguishable sound in the background, buzzing and droning out his own slowing heartbeat.

Then all went black and finally silent.

* * *

  
  


Viola hurried down to the street the second the call ended, before Kristján would drive home again. With a shaking voice she told him what had just happened. He tried calming her, as best as he could without touching or purring for her.

“I’m sure everything will be fine.” Viola didn’t believe him as he led her back upstairs into her apartment. “Do you have the number of his office. They’ll know where he is.”

Viola rummaged through James’ office and finally produced his number. While she paced the floor and massaged the center of her clenching chest, Kristján tried to help. He used his smartphone to keep the landline clear in case somebody tried to reach them. Viola didn’t pay him much attention, she only waited for the call from him, telling her where he was and that he was okay. James had to be alright. He simply had to be. The hospital would call her, she knew it.

An agonizingly long hour after James had stopped talking, the phone in Viola’s hand finally rang. Nausea rose inside her when she answered with trembling hands.

“Hello?”

“Am I talking to Viola Scaife?” a monotonous, male voice asked.

“Y-yes.”

“This is Dr. Hatfield from Mercy Hospital. Your husband had been brought here with severe injuries. You might want to come here as soon as you can.”

Viola breathed a shocked “yes” and hung up. The seriousness of Dr. Hatfield's voice and the contents of his words hardly made it through the thick fog inside her head.

“He's not dead,” she told herself over and over again. The bond clenched and twisted her guts until she groaned in pain. As long as it hurt, he was still alive. Viola couldn't talk. She grabbed her purse and hurried out of the door without a word. Kristján had to run after her to catch up with her.

Viola hated traffic. It was slowing them down. While kneading her ice-cold hands, she contemplated running the way to the hospital. Maybe that way she would be there faster. The rational part of her brain told her it wasn't true but the rest of her cursed her because she was sitting here in the comfortable car while James fought for his life.

Suddenly she couldn't breathe anymore. An invisible force had punched her straight in the chest. She gripped onto the car seat and desperately tried to breathe but her lungs refused to fill with air. The most terrible feeling she had ever experienced and nobody could help her. Tears stung in her eyes. Where was James? What was happening?

The horrible thought that this feeling could be their bond breaking because of his death crept up on her and pushed her over the edge. Viola let out a voiceless scream, still trapped in the god-forsaken afternoon traffic.

Kristján sat next to her, completely helpless. He couldn't soothe her by touch or purr. He was useless. Viola's face was streaked with hot tears. She gasped for air shortly before she would've lost conscious. All she could think were prayers.

Dear God, please don't take him from me. It's too soon. I'm lost without him. I love him. Please.


	23. On a knife edge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome back to the beginning of the end for this book. I am so sorry for not continuing in the last months, but I had personal matters to attend to and I wasn't in the space for writing the grand finale of this story. But I promised Helga, who sent me a very kind email over my author emai address which you can find on my ao3 profile page, that I would bring it to an end before 2017 ended.  
> I hope anybody who was reading it before is still interested in it being continued. Happy reading and, again, I am very sorry for the long hiatus. Love you all.

**** Viola could finally breathe. Her guts and chest hurt but the bond was fluttering back to life again. He wasn't dead, Viola realized, and closed her eyes in relief. She never wanted to feel this horror again in her life, never.

“We're almost there,” Kristján told her but Viola hardly heard his words. The blood pumping through her veins and rushing in her ears, together with her racing heartbeat, were way too loud.

A couple of agonizingly long minutes later, they finally arrived the the hospital. Viola rushed out of the car and searched the hallways for someone who could tell her where James was while Kristján asked at the front desk.

“I can't find him,” Viola cried, thick desperate tears hanging from her lashes when she returned to Kristján.

“He's still in surgery,” he said calmly.

“I want to see him!”

“When he's out of surgery, Viola. Please, try to calm d-”

“I can't calm down! I just felt him die!” she screamed at him and everybody around them stopped what they were doing and stared at the little, shaking Omega in the middle of the hallway. Viola muffled her sob with the back her hand and closed her burning eyes. She just wanted to be with James, hold his hand, hear his breath, and feel his heartbeat under her cheek when she rested her head on his chest.

The nurse behind the front desk made a quick call, turned towards her, and told her in a calm voice, “Your husband is out of surgery now. He will be brought to ICU and Dr. Hatfield wants to speak with you. Did you bring your husband's insurance card?”

What?

“No,” Viola hissed and glared daggers at her out of bloodshot eyes.

The nurse made an indistinguishable sound and typed something on her computer.

“Do you have your husband's tax number?”

“No. He is my mate and I want to see him now!”

Viola couldn't believe that this nurse, who had sworn to help people, wasted time with fucking bureaucracy. Kristján held up his hand and told the woman that he would pay for the bills. Viola shook her head disbelieving. She didn't care about money. She cared about James.

After a couple of seconds a young doctor in green scrubs came to them and asked the nurse if Mrs. Scaife had already arrived. Viola almost screamed at him that she demanded to see her mate. The bond was driving her mad. It was tugging and squeezing, reminding her with every heartbeat the she wasn't with him while he suffered.

“Your husband had an abdominal gun shot wound. The projectile...”

Viola didn't hear what Dr. Hatfield told her about the gory details of surgery.

“When can I see him?” she interrupted him after a minute because she couldn't care less about torn muscles and how much blood he had lost.

”He's in ICU and I'm afraid you are not allowed there. There have been some complications. He had an unstable heart rhythm during the emergency surgery and he’s not as stable as we would've liked.”

“Are you telling us that he won't survive?” Kristján asked and stepped closer. Dr. Hatfield didn't answer, but the look on his face was answer enough.

“If he makes it through night, he'll make it.”

Viola stared at him with wide eyes. He was lying. He had to. James couldn't die. They had hardly had any time together. Why should fate weave their lives together only to rip them apart again so soon? She refused to believe that he would leave her like this.

“Where is my mate?” she asked, hoping to sound steady and not like the desperate little Omega she was.

“As I said, he is in ICU.”

“I want to see him,” she repeated in a hoarse whisper.

Dr. Hatfield exchanged a look with Kristján because she obviously hadn't paid them any attention earlier.

“You can't-”

“Yes, I can. He's my mate and you expect him not to survive the night.” Fresh tears burned in her eyes. “I will not let you push me away from him when it could be the last time I'll ever see him alive.”

Viola's voice sounded fierce, enough to convince Dr. Hatfield to see her to James' room. Kristján followed her to the door and told her she should call him when she wanted to leave again. She nodded but hadn't listened to anything around her.

Her breath hitched when her eyes fell on the pale face of her mate. If his chest hadn't moved, she would’ve thought that he was dead. With cautious steps she came closer. James' eyes were closed but he didn't sleep. Even when he slept he frowned.

“He's still sedated,” she heard behind her, “We will keep him on morphine for the next couple of hours. As I said, this night is crucial. He   is still seated from surgery and the morphine will keep him sedated longer. We will start tapering off the sedation in the morning depending on his heart rhythm .”

“He can't die,” she decided. James wouldn’t leave her. He loved her despite everything they had said.

“ As I said, the next 12 hours will be touch and go, but you should be prepared , Mrs. Scaife.”

Viola reached for James' hand and gasped when she felt how cold it was.

“Please, leave us alone,” she whispered and intertwined her fingers with his. With her free hand she pulled a chair out of the corner next to his bed. There were tubes under his nose, coming out of his hands and arms, or disappeared under the blanket. She heard the door close behind her when the doctor had left and knew they were finally alone. Only then, Viola started crying freely. James didn't even move a muscle. He wasn't there yet. All that was laying in bed there was a shell, a body with no soul, no warmth. 

She pulled his hand up to her cheek and whispered, “Please, don't leave me, James. You're all I have.”

There was no reaction apart from a slight peak on his heart monitor. She liked to believe that he could sense her close.

“There's so much we haven't done yet.”

He still lay there like a corpse with a heartbeat.

“I want to experience so much with you. With or without children. I want to finally be one with you, celebrate our first Christmas, New Year, and the anniversary of our claiming. Maybe in a year we’ll decide that a family is what we want. Please, James, don't take all of this from us. Come back to me.”

No answer, no reaction. Viola tenderly stroked over his disheveled hair and squeezed his hand in the silent hope she could coax him awake again and prove Dr. Hatfield wrong. The bond beat out of tune but it was beating in a steady rhythm. He was alive and for the moment that was all that mattered to her. For years she hadn't prayed but tonight, with her eyes fixed on his almost grey face, she did.

She pressed her lips against the back of his hand when she couldn't cry anymore and slowly anger weaved into the concern that clouded her mind right now. If he died, she would kill him! Why hadn't he called the ambulance straight away to save himself. Idiot.

“Don't you even dare think you could leave me here alone. Do you hear me, James?”

A knock on the door startled Viola for a second. Out of reflex she closed her fingers tighter around his ice-cold hand and looked over her shoulder to the nurse who had just entered.

“Mrs. Scaife, I'm afraid, you'll have to leave now. Visiting hours are over.”

Viola couldn't believe her ears. Instead of bringing her good news or offering her some water, she wanted to throw her out. She knew she would never be able to forgive herself if she went home and he would die alone. No, Viola couldn't help him medically but she could stay by his side... until the end. The thought of his potential death almost choked her to death.

Viola looked back down to James. But he seemed so far away. Did he even feel her? Did he noticed the bond's thudding through the sedating fog in his head?

“Mrs. Scaife?” the nurse pushed her softly.

With a heavy sigh, Viola slowly let go of his hand. She couldn't help him and it broke her heart. But as soon as her hand stopped touching his, his heartbeat got faster and his breathing quickened, almost as if he was feeling pain or fear.

Quickly, she intertwined their fingers again and watched in awe how he calmed down again. The nurse hadn't noticed any of this and started to become impatient.

“Mrs. Scaife, you have to leave now.”

“Try and make me. I'll stay here until  _ he  _ tells me to go home,” she hissed over her shoulder and grinned triumphantly into her cheek when the nurse left them alone again.

A few minutes later, another knock interrupted her unconscious, low purring. Viola glanced over her shoulder, expecting to be greeted by the hospital's security to escort her out, but lifted her eyebrows surprised when Lt. Hanson came in instead.

“Hey, I just heard it. How is he?” she asked concerned and closed the door behind her. Viola looked down to James' closed eyes and sighed.

“It's serious, the doctor says. If he makes it through the night, he's safe.”

From the corner of her eyes, Viola saw the woman walk around the hospital bed and sit down on the edge of it. Her blood started to boil when Lt. Hanson reached for James' other hand to hold it. How dare she touch her mate in front of her?!

“We have him, counselor. The man who shot you. He came to the police right after calling an ambulance for you,” she told him in a soft tone which only added fuel to the fire that slowly burned up inside Viola.

“Thank you for stopping by to tell him that. I'm sure you would like to go home now after a long day at work.”

Lt. Hanson regarded her with a long look when she heard the sober tone in Viola's voice. She let go of his hand as if she hadn't even realized she was holding it. Viola faked a rather convincing thankful smile and watched the other woman leave with hurried steps. She wondered what was going on between them. Not that she thought James would ever cheat on her but that didn't mean that Lt. Hanson wouldn't try.

Luckily, nobody else bothered them for the rest of the night, although Viola couldn't really tell because she fell asleep shortly after midnight, never letting go of his hand. The comforting beeping of the heart monitor on the other side of the room combined with the orange morning glow shining through the paper curtains was what woke her eventually. It was the clear proof that he was still alive. If she could believe Dr. Hatfield's words that meant that James would live. All the fear and worry was over. God, fate, destiny… whatever had given them a second chance to make things right.

He was still sleeping, now the wrinkle between his brows was back, and hadn't woken up once since they had talked on the phone but his heart was beating steadily. Viola squeezed his hand and let out a sigh of relief. He would wake up soon and they could talk about everything... or just hold each other silently. Viola couldn't care less. The only thing she was certain about was that she would beat him over the head for not calling the ambulance straight away to save himself.

He had almost died because of his foolishness. If he'd died he would've ended not only his life but hers as well.

 

* * *

 

There was a pressure around his hand when he slowly woke up. Bright, fluorescent light shone through his closed eyelids. There was a steadily beeping heart monitor nearby, strange voices seemed to echo through a long corridor. Steps with squeaky shoes on linoleum floor. The air smelled of sharp detergents and antiseptic tissues.

Why was he still hearing, sensing, smelling those things? Why wasn't he dead or was his personal hell a crowded hospital wing? Probably. James moaned and closed his eyes tightly. He had wasted his life and was now stuck in this fucking hell. He would never see Viola again, never hear his name from her lips, never...

“James.”

What?!

The pressure around his hand grew tighter for a second and made him open his eyes. The light stung in his eyes so he had to close them again immediately.

“How are you feeling? Do you want me to get you a nurse or a doctor?”

Okay, if this was hell, he might be able to enjoy eternity here. James didn't know if he needed anything. His mind was swimming. Probably because of a ton of morphine in his bloodstream to keep him from cringing in unbearable pain. Right now he didn't really feel anything. James slowly shook his head and closed his fingers around her hand. For the next couple of hours he drifted in and out of sleep until he eventually woke from the thudding pain in his abdomen.

With a deep groan he opened his eyes to find the lights turned off and the room around him dark. And something else was there, his mate. Viola sat in one of the padded chairs next to his bed, her hand still curled around his while her head rested on the mattress next to his shoulder. Her eyes were red and puffy. He could only assume how much she had cried while had been asleep.

James closed his fingers around her hand and traced her knuckles with his thumb. Only lightly because he didn't want to wake her, although she eventually did. When their eyes met there was a second of complete stillness. The only sound was the beeping heart monitor in the corner of the room.

“You stupid... stupid man,” Viola breathed and her eyes filled with thick, glistening tears. She sat straight and shook her head with a glare. “Why didn't you call an ambulance? Do you really think a phone call could've replaced you?”

“Viola, I...” His voice was gruff, his mouth and throat dry.

“I don't want to lose you, James. How could you be so stupid?” She wiped her cheeks dry and took a few deep, shaky breaths.

“I told you, I wanted to speak with you, apologize for the things I said... and did that day. I didn't want our last conversation to be a fight.”

James sucked in air deeply, testing when his body would shoot a bolt of pain into his brain. With a hiss he reached his limits and brought his free hand up to the bandaged wound.

“You still should've called an ambulance first.”

He pulled his lips into a lopsided smirk before he replied, “Sorry that my mind was only directed at my mate and forgetting everything else.”

Viola pressed her lips tightly together and interlaced her fingers with his once again.

“I wanted to tell you how sorry I was.”

“I would've preferred to hear that in person.”

“Will you ever forgive me?”

She looked up at his strained face and pain filled eyes. Just to think that she'd almost lost him let her eyes burn with new tears. She brought his hand to her lips and pressed a light kiss on his knuckles. The most important thing was that he was still alive and breathing.

“Do you need anything?” she asked against his skin, deciding to forget what had happened and only concentrate on the present.

He pulled her hand towards his lips and copied her tender gesture.

“Yes, I need to say something. Something I wanted but then couldn't tell you on the phone anymore.” James took a deep breath, feeling his heart pound in his chest. “I love you, despite everything. I really do.”

Viola smiled broadly hearing this. She moved closer to him, placed his hand on her waist before leaning down to his lips for a gentle kiss. He kissed back slightly. His chest was almost bursting with contentment, which echoed in her chest as their tongues slowly danced with each other.

When the tender kiss ended, Viola looked down into his slightly flushed face. He had his eyes still closed and his lips parted, almost like he didn't believe that the kiss was already over. It was but many more would follow. Viola swore to herself that she would never let him leave in the morning without telling him how much she loved him.

“You had a visitor while you were sleeping,” she whispered, stroking his hair back from his forehead. James opened his eyes and furrowed his brows in question. “Detective Hanson. She said they found him. Or rather after he called the ambulance for you, he went to the police and confessed.”

“You didn't call them?”

Viola shook her head no and felt her lower lip starting to quiver. “You couldn't tell me your address before...”

James remembered hearing her voice but his brain hadn't registered her words at this point anymore.

“Detective Hanson is pretty beautiful, don't you think? She seems nice. I didn't notice that before.”

He felt a slight smirk tug on the corner of his lips. “Are you jealous?”

Viola pursed her lips and shrugged a bit too nonchalantly to be sincere. “I'm just saying she's pretty.”

“And seems nice,” he added with a wider smirk, “She's a colleague and a trusted friend.”

“I didn't know you had friends.”

“Not many... and none outside of work.”

“I gathered that after almost three months with you,” she laughed lightly.

James stared at Viola for a second. Has it already been one cycle?

“Your Heat,” he mouthed before he looked down to his patched up stomach and groaned.

“It's okay. I'll take Heat sups and skip this cycle. We'll just spend my next Heat with one another.”

“I know a thing or two about Heats and suppressants are terrible. I'm sure, I'll be fine in a few weeks so there's no nee-”

“Two weeks, James,” she interrupted him and arched an eyebrow. There was no way in heaven or hell that he'd be well enough to spend three days without food or enough sleep but fucking her into the mattress like she'd need it in her Heat.

“Would you mind spending the Heat alone? I heard all sorts of things about suppressants. I don't want anything to interfere with your hormones. Sometimes Omegas can get infertile when they use them incorrectly.”

She looked down to their interlaced fingers laying next to him. What would it matter if she became infertile if he didn't want children anyway? But why not, she still couldn’t clearly fathom. Well, she wouldn't break the subject now.

She toed off her shoes and walked around his bed to the other side. James followed her movements with confusion straining his expression. Viola climbed into the bed and rested her arm carefully over his chest, mindful not to inflict any pressure on his fresh injury. She closed her eyes and sucked in a deep lung full of his scent. Just the thought that she's almost lost him formed a rock hard lump in her throat. James pressed his lips against the top of her head, burying his nose in her hair.

“I don't need a baby,” she whispered and closed her arm just a bit tighter around him, “All I need is you.”

James closed one arm around her and lay his other hand on top of hers over his chest. He kissed her head once more before he stroked over her arm and back, and murmured, “We'll talk about this in the morning.”

His words inspired a little spark of hope inside her. That wasn't a no to babies and family of their own anymore. She fell asleep with a smile on her lips, his scent in her nose, and the beating of his heart under her cheek.


	24. Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally this story deserved its "Explicit" rating.

When Viola woke up a couple hours later, she needed a moment to remember why she lay in a hospital bed next to James. So everything from their fight about having a family to the panic that had clenched her chest tightly enough to suffocate her when he had almost died hadn’t been a mere nightmare. Viola lifted her head from his chest and looked into James’ still pale face. The crease between his eyebrows appeared deeper than usual.

“Good morning,” she whispered, gauging if he was awake or still sleeping. But as soon as he heard her voice, his eyes fluttered open. The arm around her shoulders tightened as he pulled her closer to him.

“Morning,” his rumbled and hissed the second he took a slightly deeper breath.

Concern weaved into her scent and Viola carefully placed her palm over the center of his chest.

“Do you want me to get a doctor?”

“Probably not the worst idea,” James replied through clenched teeth and only reluctantly let go of his mate.

“I’ll be right back,” she said and leaned down to give him a kiss, but when she wanted to break it, James grabbed the back of her head and deepened their kiss, as if he was afraid he might never see her again. Breathlessly, they finally separated and Viola smiled broadly at him. He was fine; he would live and right now it didn’t matter if they would have children or not.

Stepping out of his room, she was confronted with the stark white hallways and rushing nurses, she had almost forgotten were part of the hospital too. She made her way to the ICU ward’s nurse room and asked the young, red haired nurse for Dr. Hatfield.

“I can see if he’s in the sleeping room. What do you need?”

“My mate was brought here one and a half days ago with a shot wound in his stomach. He’s in pain.”

The nurse nodded understanding, especially because she’d heard the word “mate”. “Don’t worry, I’ll get the doctor for you.”

Why couldn’t all nurses be as friendly as this one, Viola thought and brushed some of her messy hair out of her face on her way back to James’ room. Once inside, she opened the blinds to let in some of the autumn light.

“We wanted to talk about children,” James mumbled and reached out his hand for Viola to take.

“Yeah, you said something like that last night.”

“I see so much suffering in my job,” he began, but stopped when a knock interrupted him. Dr. Hatfield with just as messy bed hair as Viola stepped in and suppressed a yawn before speaking.

“Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Scaife. How are you doing? The nurse told me you needed a new dose of painkiller, but I would like to talk to you beforehand. Is that alright?”

James nodded but the grip around Viola’s hand grew tighter. Dr. Hatfield asked all kinds of things and made some tests. He was very interested in the bond and if he was more comfortable with Viola around. Apparently they also had larger beds for mated couples, so they could spend the nights together during recovery. James pressed his lips against the back of Viola’s hand and answered yes. She remembered how he had held her hand during their first shopping trip while searching a new wardrobe for her. He was still the same man, even though they had been through so much together and alone. Once Dr. Hatfield knew everything he wanted to, he gave James the necessary painkillers and left again. 

Almost immediately after they were alone again, James’ grip relaxed again and he pressed another kiss on the back of her hand.

“So, children…” he started again while Viola sat down at the edge of his bed, “I feel like I wasn’t being fair to you.”   


“James, -”

“Please, let me say this. After almost dying I know I wasted so much time with the wrong people, while I pushed away the only one I ever really cared about.” He squeezed her hand once more, making Viola almost tear up. “I’m almost 43 years old, I don’t get anywhere in my job apart from deeper into depression. I want to be happy again.”

“You deserve it.”

“You mentioned I could just change departments and I will do that.” Viola’s face lit up with a bright smile. Her chest almost burst with happiness but James wasn’t done yet. “And… and I want you to be happy too. When I sat there in that dead end, knowing I might never see you again, I was so sorry for every fight and unkind word, for all the moments I would miss with you.”

Now Viola was tearing up. He had felt all she had while she had prayed for him to survive. James took a deep breath and rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. The warmth that slowly returned to his body was the clearest sign that he was definitely getting better eventually.

“As soon as I’m alright again,” James continued, gesturing to his stomach, “Let us work on a family, alright?”

Viola couldn’t say a single word as happy tears choked her. She wanted to hug him tightly but sticked to a long, loving kiss.

“I love you,” she whispered against his lips.

“I love you too, Viola.” There were also happy tears running down the sides of his eyes when they parted again. She let out a happy laugh and wiped them away with her thumb, feeling his warm skin beneath her hand. They were happy, they would have to wait before they could become the picture perfect family she had always imagined, but they would be, in only a few months time. 

First though, there was still her Heat.

“I wish, you could spend the Heat with me,” she said and lay down next to him again, even if it was a tight fit in a narrow bed. He didn’t seem to mind because he carefully wrapped his arm around her just like he had when they had been asleep.

“Me too,” James mumbled into her hair and took a deep breath of her scent, “But you promise not to take suppressants?”

“I won’t. Reba said something about bad experiences with them too, but I think there was something wrong with how she used them.” She sighed and thought for a moment, carefully placing her hand back on the center of his chest. “I actually wanted to leave you before all this happened.”

“I know. I think, I would’ve let you go out of anger and… stupidity. I wouldn’t wanna see that you were right about me and my work. Before I had my heroic, very stupid moment of applying to the Hunt, I never actually thought about children. Not in the way I have with you.” He guided her face up to his to look into her eyes. “It all felt real with you.”

“Do you regret claiming me?” she whispered.

“No. Not that I finally got my head straight.”

Viola searched his eyes for any hint that he had any doubts, but all she found was love. She leaned up to kiss him again and stayed in the hospital as long as she could. 

But preheat slowly but surely started taking it’s toll and although James was getting better day by day and could’ve actually come back home again shortly before Viola’s heat hit it’s hot phase, he stayed at the hospital for good measure.

Viola missed him so much when she was alone in their apartment in the middle of her heat. All of her heats had been unattended by an Alpha and she had survived those without a problem, but now that her body knew that she belonged to an Alpha, to James, it yearned for his touch, his lips, his cock even though it had never actually felt it thrusting into her depth and bringing her to orgasm. Her nest felt empty even though she had raided the hamper for his worn clothes and had even brought a blanket with her to the hospital so he could scent it just for her nest.

Viola ran her hands over her sweat covered body, her legs spread wide with her hand busily rubbing her hard clit to bring herself to the desperately needed climax. She could hardly breath as she pressed James’ shirts against her face to fill her lungs with his heavy, masculine scent that has turned into her most favorite scent within the last couple of months. She loved him, missed him, desired him! Viola felt her orgasm built and her fingers speed up even more. She needed that release that she could already make out in the fog that clouded her needy mind.

“James…” she sighed and bit her lower lip. Her hips raised from the sheets, damp from her sweat and slick, and humped her hand as she came for the tenth time just today. “Ahhh..!”

She collapsed against the bed and panted against the warm shirt over her face. The realization that he wasn’t with her hit hard whenever she came down from the peak again and her chest clenched knowing that someone very important was missing right now. She had nobody to snuggle into, nobody to purr for, and no knot to keep her pussy from clenching around nothing.

She thanked every higher power she knew when it was finally over again, though her post heat cramps weren’t really a blessing. Yet, it didn’t matter. After her next heat she would be pregnant and Viola couldn’t wait for it. After packing the washing machine with as many sheets as it could contain, she jumped into a shower to get rid of the tenseness in her muscles and the dried slick between her sore legs before she headed back to the hospital, to her mate.

James was sitting in the larger bed and read the book she had brought him at her last visit. Viola bit her lower lip to keep from squealing like a child that she could finally smell his fresh scent again and feel his warmth on her skin. She hurried over to the bed and wordlessly began undressing until she was down to her underwear.

“Viola, what-?”

“I missed you so much,” she interrupted him and pulled the blanket back to climb under it.

“Me too. I had the wildest wet dreams you can imagine,” he purred as he draped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closed to his side. Viola sighed contently and sneaked her hand under his plain white shirt, mindful of his still sensitive wound. She felt him tense underneath her fingertips and looked up to him with nothing but love in her eyes.

“I just want to feel you. It seemed like an eternity without you. Can’t wait to have you home with me again.”

“The doctor said I can go home as soon as you take me.” Her eyes began to sparkle at that, but before she would jump up to pull him home, she wanted to revel in the closeness to him. 

 

The same day Viola had brought him home again and James had called his boss and requested a job in a new department, something with less… suffering. He was taking off almost a month off with all the extra hours and unused vacation days he had collected over the last year. Viola and him found the comfort from the beginning again, only this time they weren’t fighting out of nervousness. It was heaven on earth for both of them and in a couple of months there would be a little bundle of joy making their life even more complete.

James was feeling much better as the weeks morphed into a month, but now something else seemed to bother him. Viola found him more than once in front of the bedroom mirror tracing the surgery scar that almost cut his stomach in half. He flinched away everytime she tried to touch it, but instead of keeping it to himself like he had done with so many things before, he opened up with a strained smile.

“It’s hideous.”

“No, it’s not. Nothing about you is, James. You are a survivor. Somebody tried to kill you and you defeated them.” Thinking about the terrible feeling she had experienced when his heart had stopped beating on the surgery table caused a lump in her throat. She wouldn’t let him think of himself as anything but a strong man and one day a wonderful father to their children. Viola closed the small distance between them and took his hand before leading him towards their comfy bed. She had kept half of the nest intact to make it the perfect place for him to recover in. He groaned a bit as he crawled in but at their last doctor’s appointment James’ physician had given them his okay to be intimate.

Viola wanted to use the last week before he would start working again to finally fully become his. She took of her clothes until she knelt next to him completely naked. If he hadn’t known before, he knew now what the glint in her eyes meant. She rested her hand on the middle of his chest and drew little circles right over his heart.

“I love you,” she whispered and dipped her head for a loving kiss. James cradled her cheeks and deepened it, letting his tongue play with hers, tasting her. They only separated to catch their breath and let out a small laugh.

She let her hands travel down his body, closing her fingers around the hem of his sweater and waited for his little nod before pulling it up over his head to reveal the long straight scar that stretched over his abdomen. There was nothing ugly or shameful about it, not in Viola’s eyes and those should be the only ones he cared about.

Without a word, she began kissing her way down over his body from his neck scent gland over his chest and scar to the hem of his comfortable jeans. Her nimble fingers quickly opened his pants and pushed them past his hips. Soon he lay there just as naked as she was. His cock, semi-erect, lay on his upper thigh and demanded some attention. Now nervousness struck  and Viola was at a loss. She knew what sex was, technically. She knew were everything had to go and that for it to be enjoyable and painless, she would have to be very aroused.

James felt her sudden discomfort and hold out his hands. Viola cuddled up next to him and was surprised when he suddenly asked, “Do you want me to purr for you?”

“Yes, at least until I’m relaxed again.”   


He let his hands travel over her curves and his eyes seemed glued to her pink nipples. “I could do more.”

Viola thought for a moment. Why force herself to relax if she could also give in to him? She loved and trusted him. James would never hurt her. So she nodded, handing all control over to him.

His deep purr made her shiver and her eyes fell shut as she lay on her back and felt his body cover hers. James buried his face in the crook of her neck and licked over her claiming mark. His weight on top of her, the archaic sound he produced, how he coaxed out the animal inside her, it all turned her on and made her forget her fears. Viola moved her legs around his hips until he cock was positioned right at the entrance of her pussy. He had grown from his own purr, leaking precum to aid his way into her depths. 

“Are you ready?” he asked against her neck, his breath hot against her glistening skin. She nodded. His hands travelled down to her so willingly spread legs and his fingers sought the wetness between her delicate nether lips. Viola gasped as the pad of his middle finger pushed into her. She loved it already. Her hands clawed at his back, her heels dug into the back of his upper thighs. James guided the head of his cock to her entrance and pushed forward slightly, hearing her gasp highly. He purred again and her muscles relaxed around him, giving him easy access as he pushed in more, past her hymen with no pain at all.

Viola smiled as he bottomed up and let out the most satisfied growl she had ever thought possible. He propped himself up in his elbows and kissed her, not moving at first, until Viola encouraged him with a slight gyration of her hips. He filled her up so well, her pussy fitting him like a glove, only that it was massaging his length heavenly.

“I love you, Viola.”

She couldn’t talk, only mewl when he pulled his cock out inch by inch. Her legs tightened around his hips and she wordlessly asked him to thrust back in. A second later, only his head was still inside. He thrust his full length in her with a grunt, revelling in the way her pussy tightened around him.

“I don’t know how long I will be able to hold myself back.”

“Then don’t,” she breathed and leaned up to trace her teeth over her mate’s shoulder. She was rewarded with an even deeper thrust and a growl. James dipped his head to her soft breasts, sucking in her left nipple. Viola arched her back to offer him more of herself. The rhythm of his hips matched his sucking. Everything around her, the smells of their combined sweat, her slick and the trace of precum he had smeared on the inner side of her thigh, their aroused scents, seemed to crawl into her and spark the first signs of her orgasm. It built with every thrust and suck of her mate and was multiplied as his right hands travelled down between them until he had found her little, hard clit. She hadn’t even known how much she needed attention there two.

James’ thrust became more shallow as the base of his cock started to swell in a knot. His groans got louder and he released her nipple to kiss her breathless. Viola dig her heels deeper into his thighs, forcing him to go deeper again, but his knot was suddenly in the way. Her mind screamed that  she needed that inside her. Now!

He still rubbed her clit, her thighs shook as her orgasm galloped closer and closer until it crashed down on her and she let out a loud scream. Her pussy clenched and unclenched around his cock in almost a fluttering tempo that eventually drove him over the edge as well. With a loud shout, he thrust deep and buried in knot deep within her, bringing her to a second orgasm before the first one had even ended. Viola held onto him, burying her face in his panting chest as she concentrated on the hot cum that suddenly filled her up. With every twitch of him more was added as the knot made sure that none of it would leak out without having a chance to seek out her egg to impregnate.

Viola hadn’t even thought about it, but this first time could have already fulfilled her biggest wish. She smiled and let her hands stroke up and down his sweat covered back. For a moment they just lay there like this. gasping for air and basking in the post coital afterglow.

“That was amazing,” she eventually broke the comfortable silence between them.

“Not too painful?”   


Viola smiled even wider and shook her head. The knot stretched her out wide, but it wasn’t as much painful as… full. She loosened over of her legs from around him and gently guided them to lay on their side. James’ hair was a mess, his face glistened with sweat, and she loved the sight of it with that satisfied expression on it, knowing that she probably looked the same. Now they were truly mated. The complete feeling of bliss and love made her tear up but before the tears could fall, she pressed her face against his chest, listening to his heart before she fell asleep at the sound of it.


	25. Closure

Seven months later

 

Viola glared at the defendant; the man who had tried to take her mate from her. David Turner. She hated him with every fiber of her body, vibrating anger while sitting in the first row in the courtroom as the jury came back with their verdict. They had to find him guilty, anything else would be a farce.

James squeezed her hand on her lap and caressed her tiny baby bump with his finger. She was a little over four months pregnant. It had happened in their first real heat together, days she would never forget again filled with love declarations and steamy lovemaking resulting in the two little wonders growing inside her. They were expecting twin boys according to their doctor’s appointment two days ago. She looked down to the small protruding bump and smiled, but it didn’t last long before another thought crawled up to her. Namely, that this bastard over there could’ve taken all that from her. It made her furious again.

“We find the defendant David Turner guilty of attempted murder,” the speaker of the jury announced and the judge put down the gravel to seal the verdict. Viola hadn’t expected anything else, but she still let out a relieved sigh and kissed her mate who sat there like a stone sculpture because he needed to let the verdict sink in before he could react.

James stood and thanked the ADA on this case for his good work, although it wasn’t difficult to convince the jury of a man’s guilt when he had already confessed to the crime. Still, only this morning James had warned her not to be so sure of it, since he had also lost watertight cases because of one doubter on the jury.

Aaron Turner had watched with a stoney face how his second son was brought out of the courtroom by a bailiff. Now he had two sons in prison. Turner hadn’t as much as looked at James and her, but Viola had shot daggers at him just as much as she had sent David’s way.

“Do you want to celebrate?” she asked as they walked out of the courtroom, her arm circled around his elbow.

“I don’t really feel like celebrating,” he sighed and lead her over to the elevator down the crowded, noisy hallway. 

“Then maybe just pizza in the nest and you can finally make good of your promise to get the TV into the bedroom.” Viola smiled at him with a teasing look in her eyes, knowing that he needed some distraction. The bond had lost some of its negative effect on her to shield her from any emotional turmoils, but she could still see by the look in his eyes, that he needed soul food and something else to think about than this. He just wanted to reply, when they heard a loud voice behind them.

“Hey, do you even know what you did?” Turner stood behind him with his friend unsuccessfully trying to pull him back again.

James squared his shoulders and moved between his biological father and his pregnant mate to shield her from this aggressive Alpha.

“What  _ I _ did? I was shot by your useless son.”

Viola intertwined her fingers with James’ and squeezed his hand reassuringly. He had been so afraid that his father would talk to him today. In that case, he had actually decided to tell him about his heritage and their family bond, simply because he would be a father soon. It must’ve awoken some desire to have his own roots clearer to him, it seemed. Viola would always be there for him and support him in anything he did, as long as he put their family first.

“My last son, you bastard!” Turner spit out, “Now you brought all of my boys behind bars.”

“No, not all of your sons,” he bursted out, his hand sweaty in Viola’s. Turner furrowed his brows in confusion and she had to hold herself back as to not yell at this asshole.

“44 years ago you were one of twelve Alphas in the Spring Hunt here in Flint and you raped at least one of the Omegas,” James began, but the second he stopped to take a deep breath, the look on Turner’s face changed to a scared grimace. Obviously he wasn’t so comfortable with that part of his past. Surprising, since he obviously didn’t possess a single ounce of decency.

“How do you know?”

“Have a guess,” Viola hissed and squeezed James’ hand once again. The murmurs and bustle around them suddenly faded as the two Alphas looked at each other like they could find a hidden answer if only they looked close enough. Sadly, James had his eyes. Viola saw it and for the first time hoped, that their sons would look more like her than their father.

“You’re a… But how d-”

“I’m not a fool, Mr. Turner. It’s my job to find rapists.” The hatred in James’ voice dripped like acid. He had lived with that feeling so many years and now, finally, he could let it out on the one person who deserved all his rage. “I had a terrible childhood, but looking at the sons you raised, I definitely had it better off. The only offspring you could be even remotely proud of is the one who you never knew you even had. Do you even know the name of the girl you bred?”

Silence. Turner swallowed thickly before shaking his head.

“Jane, her name was Jane.” James’ blood was rushing through his veins as he looked at this lonely, ashamed man in front of him. He wasn’t worth his time or a single one of his thoughts.  “You are a shame for the police force, raping a defenseless young woman just for your selfish pleasure only to forget about what consequences this had for her.”

Turner made a step forward, but James flinched back. No matter if he wanted to give him a pat on the shoulder or a punch in the guts, it would’ve hurt just the same.

“I will be a father myself in a few months time.” He loosened his hand around Viola’s and immediately placed it on her small bump. “And I will make sure that my boys know about you and their uncle’s attempt to kill me. I never want them to even consider contacting you. Should I ever see you near me or my family, I will get you behind bars just like your bright sons.”

With that off his chest, he turned around and pulled Viola into the elevator with him. Only when the doors closed, he let out the breath he had been holding in and released the tension from his shoulders.

Viola snaked her arm under his jacket and around his middle to press her body against his. He didn’t like public display of attention, but he had finally confronted Turner and his attacker was locked up for the next 15 years. She was so proud of him and as soon as they weren’t surrounded by other ADA’s and court employees he worked with on a daily basis, she would show him just how much she loved him.

James kissed her on the temple and shortly sucked in her scent that had slightly changed ever since his babies had started growing inside her.

“I love you,” she whispered and lifted her head to kiss him tenderly regardless of the people in the elevator with them. He returned the kiss and they only stopped when they arrived at the ground floor.

On their way home, they picked up pizza from their favorite place and eventually ate in the nest they hadn’t deconstructed since they had built it together a little over four months ago.

“How are you?” Viola asked and snuggled into him when they were done eating and just lounging in their comfortable bed.

“Full.”

“You know what I mean.”

James let out a deep sigh and slid deeper into the many pillows surrounding them. “I don’t know. I mean, I had planned to tell him today, but I don’t really feel better.”

“Do you feel like it was a mistake? That he knows now?” she asked in a low voice, one of her hands resting on her belly.

James shook his head and turned on his side to face her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled his mate, his family, closer to him. Viola smiled as she snuggled into his chest with a content sigh.

The last year had been the best and simultaneously worst year of her life. They had been through so much, but once they had realized what was really important, things had only improved. They had sorted through the fateful box with his childhood memories to find some pictures they wanted to keep in the apartment before they had locked the rest away in his safe deposit box. That way it was still there, if he ever wanted to show their boys what their daddy had looked like at their age.

They had planned to turn the guest room into the nursery and later the kids’ room. The new guest room would be his office until they would need another nursery since Viola had already determined that she wanted at least three kids. Finally she would have the big family she had always dreamed of.

James was happy to work at the robbery and fraud department at the DA’s office. No more abused children or violated women who would cling to him with their hopes for easing their pain nobody truly could. No, he only had to do with money now. Of course, that didn’t mean that suddenly all children lead happy lives and no woman was beaten and sexually harassed, but he would no longer had to fight for them until he was at the brink of shattering.

Viola cooked in the evenings and he was home, every single day. The minute he toed off his shoes and shrugged his jacket off his shoulders, he wasn’t an ADA anymore, no. He was a husband, a mate, and a father-to-be, who couldn’t wait to hold his baby in his arms.

“A few months ago, I was close to leaving you,” Viola said, going through the past year as she listened to his heartbeat and even breathing in the silent room, only illuminated by the fairylights she had insisted needed to be part of their nest.

“And I would’ve let you go,” he mumbled and traced small patterns on her back under her comfy shirt dress.

The thought caused her insides to clench painfully tight. “In a way I am almost glad that you were hurt, otherwise we would have left each other and we’d be alone again.”

“You know it’s true love when you are happy your mate got shot,” James snorted and arched his eyebrow at her.

“Aren’t you?” He knew exactly what she meant, so he nodded, although his brows furrowed when she began unbuttoning his dress shirt to reveal the scar underneath it. He didn’t like being touched there, but Viola loved it just as much as every other part of him; as much as his soft black hair, his pale green eyes, his biting humor, and especially his heart that was beating only for her and their family now.

“We didn’t start as a normal couple, so why should we have continued as one?” he said after a few minutes of complete silence with only Sawyer’s snoring echoing from the walls.

“It was pure luck that you claimed me and not any other Omega that day.”

“Yes, though I had seen you at the start and your red hair had caught my attention immediately.” He ran his hand through her now slightly longer hair and pressed his lips against her forehead, sucking in the scent he had changed twice already. Once when he had claimed her and then when he had impregnated her. Viola belonged to him and as it was now, she wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I thank my lucky star every day that I found you that day, darling. You made me complete.”

Viola bursted with content hearing him say this. Her hand slipped into his open shirt and caressed his scar on its way up to the center of his chest where their bond was beating in total unison to their heartbeat. Smiling at herself, she traced a little heart over the meaningful spot.

She was finally happy with her mate, who put her and her needs above anything, and who would do the same for their children. Her hand dropped to her small belly and repeated in her head once again, looking up at his loving eyes, they would be a happy family, just like Reba had managed with Kristján despite everything that had happened between them.

Viola reached up and weaved her fingers through James’ hair at the back of his neck to pull him closer for a kiss. Nobody could take this moment from them, the complete bliss and content that none of them would’ve thought possible not even half a year ago.

“Thank you for claiming me,” she whispered against his lips with her eyes closed in total content. James’ arms around her tightened, kissing her as tender as possible and gently pressing his stomach against her bump.

“No, thank you for making me the happiest man alive. You know me like nobody else does and you are still with me. Even trust me enough to start a family with you.” He took in a shaky breath. “I never thought, I would find myself in the arms of a beautiful Omega, my mate at that, with my children growing inside her.”

Viola stroked her thumb over his cheek and kissed him again, putting as much love into the gesture as she could. “I love you, James, and I know you’ll be a great father to our boys despite what you might think. You are not like Turner and we will do our best to keep them safe and sound. I know you will.”

And he would until his last breath.

 

The end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and merry Christmas to everyone who enjoyed this story till the end. I hope I wrote a satisfying end after almost a year of work. My characters and everyone who lived through everything with them. I have no immediate plans for another installment in the Flint series but keep an eye open for an update.   
> Thank you for your interest and time investment into my stories. I loved every comment and kudos I received from you. It was a hard year for me personally and returning to your comments was a solace which helped me to go on.  
> Thank you with all my heart.


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